Dreams and fantasies are common to all children from the very beginning. early age. Such interesting way thinking gradually fades away over the years, since with age a person thinks more rationally and no longer gives free rein to his imagination.

In fact, in order for the baby’s thinking to develop outside the box, creativity and inclinations, it is simply necessary to fantasize. A child who knows how to invent and dream grows up liberated, open, kind, and easily makes contact. Developed thinking is an integral part of a child’s psychological development. Remember your childhood, when, lying on the grass, you came up with images for passing clouds, or could stage a real battle without a single toy. All adults were once little inventors too.

But, nevertheless, parents are often concerned about the question of where to see that line of children's inventions, when they already border on danger to the psyche.

Aggressive fantasies

Very often there are situations when just yesterday a child associated himself with a good doctor, a rescue swimmer, and today, with a furious cry, he “flies” around the room and destroys everything around him, and in kindergarten he offends other children. Fantasies suddenly cross the line of what is permitted and become aggressive. The child is increasingly interested in war games, destroying, breaking, destroying under the guise of monsters and villains, transferring a hostile attitude into everyday life. And now he already associates another person with Evil and can begin to fight against him physically.

If something like this begins to happen to your child, you should immediately identify the reasons for this behavior. Often real experiences that are traumatic to the psyche can be transferred into the game.

Violence seen, scandals in the family, grievances and expectations of punishment - all this can lead to aggressive fantasies. A child capable of violence is most often convinced that he is not loved.

In addition, watching films and cartoons that are not suitable for the child’s age category leads to an aggressive form of imagination. A preschooler cannot yet clearly distinguish between the image of good. And if, for example, a seemingly positive cartoon character (Batman, Superman, Spider-Man) physically destroys his opponents in the fight against evil and injustice, the child’s immature psyche takes this for granted. The concepts of Evil and Good are being replaced; in the child’s head they are simply mixed up.

The actions of parents in the event of such a problem are understandable: they need to limit their child from videos and films; they should not involve their children in watching adult films with seemingly harmless content; it is not for nothing that there is an age limit.

If your child’s imagination has become aggressive, show your child more tenderness and affection, play kind games (), explain the difference between good and bad characters, review your own system of punishments and rewards. Only loving parents will be able to find a compromise and teach their children to cope with negative emotions.

Lie

The child may begin to use his imagination in an unnatural form and begin to outright lie. Most often, a child needs a lie for personal gain and can become a habit, so you need to identify the reason for the lie. A child may simply be afraid of punishment, and therefore shift the blame for an offense onto a fictional character, animals, or relatives. If a child lies, multiplying his real merits, says that he won something, that he was praised or rewarded, but this actually did not happen, then the problem lies in uncertainty and the desire to feel support and self-worth. Sometimes children try to justify themselves by lying. “I left on my own, they didn’t kick me out”, “He started it first” - such phrases characterize self-doubt. A child may begin to tell others lies about his own family; this is the first warning sign of a breakdown in relationships among relatives.

Don’t try to eradicate lies from a child with punishments and screams, teach him to trust you, show him by personal example the consequences of lying, tell him how important trust is in family and friendship. Approach the situation wisely. Do not show lies yourself and condemn them in others.

If your child has invented a monster under the bed, or a monster in the closet, this is not a manifestation of a sick fantasy, but a projection of childhood fears. To prevent the condition from becoming pathological, help your child overcome his fears. Draw the monsters as kind, come up with a magic spell or a super sword against all the villains, talk and explain.

Often children's fears are caused by ignorance; if a child cannot explain a phenomenon to himself, he dramatizes what is happening and invents danger. Explain ordinary phenomena to children, show how and what works and happens.

Imaginary friend

The appearance of an unrealistic comrade is a frequent occurrence. On the one hand, such a friend helps the child to survive and accept any situation, express his emotions, and show leadership; on the other hand, this is an indicator of a lack of communication. Moreover, communication here is measured by qualitative indicators, the point is not in the total time spent with the baby, but in what emotions the child experiences, whether he can express himself and be frank.

If the fantasy with an imaginary friend is healthy, then the child is precisely aware of the line with reality, understands and himself says what is true and what is make-believe.

If a child crosses the line and does not realize the difference between the imaginary world and the real one, then it is worth turning to a psychologist before this form of imagination has a negative impact on the psyche.

Fantasies cannot and are unnecessary to eradicate; it is important, on the contrary, to help the child develop his imagination: play, invent, make, do not throw away the collected treasures in the form of pebbles and sticks, but in every possible way contribute to the development of the child’s creativity and individuality.

All children are different from each other, each is individual and unique in their own way.

How does children's fantasy work?

Pathological fantasy in children. Children love to compose. This is especially noticeable at the age of three to six years. This is absolutely necessary stage mental development child. Why do children lie, or more precisely, do I fantasize beyond measure?

Some samples children's creativity absolutely amazing. Remember the examples of Nosov and Marshak. Children's imaginations are manifested in their games and drawings. But as abstract thinking develops, the child’s imagination loses its “unbridled” character.
A healthy child never gets “stuck” on just one idea, game or activity; his fantasies are mobile and changeable.

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Another thing is the child’s pathological fantasizing. The main difference is the separation from reality, constancy, and whimsicality of the content, leading to behavioral disturbances and distortion of normal adaptation to life. Children's fantasies in this case are the fruit of a painfully altered creative imagination.

Of course, the degree of complexity, colorfulness, and logical completeness of fantasies depends on the child’s mental development and the stock of his ideas. In this regard, the patterns here are the same as for adults: one composes like Andersen or Dumas, while the other cannot even master a short letter.

For example, the boy Zhenya, who is in fourth grade, has difficulty mastering the material and his grades are poor. The teacher sees the reason in the fact that Zhenya is always “hovering in the clouds.” The boy is cheerful, talkative, good-natured, carefree. He readily says that he loves to dream: he imagines himself driving a car, rushing through the streets of a chic city, accompanied by the admiring glances of his peers. At home, he does not leave the steering wheel, runs around the rooms, honks, maneuvers among the furniture. He imagines how he presses different buttons and rolls down the window. One day I “saw” a flying saucer land on the steering wheel. Aliens in shiny clothes came out of it, holding radio transmitters in their hands. Zhenya cannot explain how the spaceship managed to land on a regular rudder, but such nonsense does not bother him at all. He talks enthusiastically about how he will “earn a lot of bucks, see the world, catch his destiny.” If they try to distract him, force him to do his homework, he gets irritated. Zhenya agrees that both the car and aliens are his imagination, but with other children he can only talk about the topics of his own fantasies; other activities are not interesting to him.

During an examination at the clinic, it was determined that Zhenya has a low level of mental development, a very limited stock of ideas, and poor memory. He is afraid of bandits and murderers, so he does not stay alone in the room. Until the age of six he suffered from bedwetting, and at the age of three he suffered from (blinking, neck twitching, licking lips). Zhenya’s fictions are not particularly large-scale and colorful due to his intellectual underdevelopment. But all the signs of pathological fantasy are evident.

It is customary to highlight several types of pathological fantasy.

In children preschool age there is a painful fantasy, which manifests itself in complete playful transformation. The child is pretty for a long time transforms into the image of some animal, a character from a fairy tale, an inanimate object. Imagining himself, for example, as a dog, the child crawls on all fours, growls, barks, and attacks people.

Pretending to be a truck, it simulates refueling with gasoline, loading and unloading cargo, and road collisions. The child is so absorbed in what he is doing that he does not perceive his surroundings well; it is difficult to distract him or occupy him with some “earthly” activities. Attempts to bring the child back to reality can even cause obvious discontent and aggression.

In older children (primary schoolchildren), fantasies are less associated with play; they are more determined by stories they hear, films they see, and books they read. Boys are more willing to indulge in dreams of military action and feel like participants in a battle. Girls more often imagine themselves as princesses, queens, objects of universal admiration and worship. The action in their fantasies usually takes place at balls in palaces.

Sometimes the dreams, desires, and unrealized aspirations of a child are reflected in invented images. So, a physically weak boy can imagine himself as a powerful and ferocious lion, whom everyone is afraid of. The child, who is often referred to at home, may imagine himself as a commander, a king, a commander-in-chief, holding court over his subordinates or subjects, subjecting them to torture and execution. He can perform the corresponding actions with his toys, completely immersing himself in an imaginary situation and losing contact with his parents and peers.


Teenagers' fantasies abound in various juicy details and are distinguished by a detective focus. Children can come up with stories about their alleged participation in robberies, espionage, or membership in any organizations. If a child is lying, “documents” may be shown—notes, maps—proving the truth of such lies. The plot is borrowed from well-known television series and films.

Teenage girls may sometimes talk about rape, naming the name of the “perpetrator” who is unaware of it, about an imaginary pregnancy. Complex conflicts arise involving teachers, neighbors, and the police, in which it is difficult for the “culprits” to justify themselves and convict the authors of the fantasies of a hoax. Often teenagers become so enamored that they themselves begin to believe in the authenticity of their fictions. In such situations, the question arises of how to wean a child from lying and fantasizing beyond measure.

Some adolescents in adolescence have hysterical character traits. A typical feature of such individuals is a tendency to deceit and inventions, which allow them to “get applause” at any cost and attract attention to themselves. If a child lies to attract attention, we are talking about pathological fantasy.

Doctors call some types of children's fantasies delusional. True, there is no unambiguous interpretation of this term. Some psychiatrists attribute here fantastic ideas with the conviction of the presence of pursuers and enemies. Others argue that such fantasies can also have pleasant content. It is believed that the material for delusional fantasies is vivid dreams, which are subsequently transferred to the waking state. With delusional fantasizing, the child is still able to distinguish between fiction and reality. Unlike delusions, the child is always aware that he is fantasizing “at will.”

Like any other symptom, pathological fantasizing can occur in different cases, under many conditions. Quite often it turns out to be part of such a serious disease as schizophrenia. At the same time, fantasies are initially distinguished by their special whimsicality and isolation from reality. Their content can be aggressive, with unusually presented sexual experiences.

In such cases, the child may not tell anything at all about his inventions to either adults or other children. Parents sometimes find out about them only after visiting a psychiatrist with their child. With schizophrenia, the child’s fantasies quickly lose their arbitrariness and begin to “climb into the head”; it becomes difficult to get rid of them, and thoughts acquire “sonority.” And these are already quite formidable symptoms of mental illness.

Some children with a closed character are characterized by a tendency to fantasize. They compensate for their difficulties in communication with rich and vivid fantasies. Usually in such cases, children imagine themselves in the company of friendly, smart children or cute tame animals. They have adventures in the forest, in the city, in the circus with the participation of many characters. This whole enchanting picture completely takes over the child. He can contemplate her for hours with a detached look, to the detriment of ordinary children's activities.

The child comprehends the differences between the real and the imaginary as he develops, gradually.

Very little it seems to the baby that he and his mother are one whole, because the mother is always there and always ready to satisfy his slightest needs.

After five to six months, the baby begins to treat his mother as an independent being, and this allows him to perceive external reality. He discovers that not all his wishes can be fulfilled instantly, but it will take him some time to accept this situation. Good for that proof - attacks of anger and opposition between two and three years.

By obeying adults, the child learns discipline, but the feeling that he has power over the world still lives in him, and this is what allows them to talk about “magical thinking”*.

At four years old the baby can still believe that everything he thinks will actually come true.

Having mastered speech well, he begins to understand more clearly where the realm of the imaginary is and where the real is.

If we leave aside the pathologies and situations associated with dreams, we can say that children have a special relationship with the world of fantasy.

This explains their ability to play and the pleasure they get from playing, which is mostly lost for adults. They understand perfectly well that they are doing everything “for fun”, and already three-year-old children do not accept their play as reality.

However, children remain dependent on adults and, in many circumstances, need their help to separate the real from the unreal.

That's why we need to be extremely careful about what we say to children - even with the best intentions in the world or wanting to protect them (see "Children's lies").

This dependence of the child on the words of an adult allows parents to find a way to calm the baby during nightmares or irrational fears.

It also allows you to compose fairy tales on the basis of children’s fantasies common to children and adults, or rather, shared by parents, but it also gives rise to beliefs that you later have to part with.

Is there a risk that the child will mix fantasy with reality?

Sometimes parents are worried about what they consider to be a growing child’s wild, overflowing imagination. They are afraid that he might confuse his fantasies with reality, that he might not believe in what he himself came up with.

Up to three years.

Mastering language and speech, children very early begin to understand the difference between “in truth” and “make believe,” but the support for this understanding is not very reliable for the time being: the child is still in the power of magical thinking, which gives any fiction the status of reality.

— Such a confusion of concepts should not alarm parents, but they need to be more attentive to what they themselves tell the child, because the child sometimes puts his own meaning into the words he hears, which is not similar to the real one.

- At this age, the child cannot yet be critical of what he sees on TV: watch the programs with him and comment on those shots and episodes that need it.

At four years old.

Four years is the age of imaginary friends “living” between two worlds: the child understands perfectly well that he himself has created this or that friend, but behaves as if this friend really exists.

At the height of the Oedipal stage, four- to five-year-old children often invent a family and parents for themselves. Some can even compose a long “family saga” (see “Adoption”).

- Don’t be too upset if your child doesn’t idealize you at home - parents become extraordinary only in conversations with friends.

- Inventions of this kind originate from the narcissistic phase of development, and this is completely normal.

“The child “gains his own worth” mainly through boasting and fanfare, but deep down in his soul he doesn’t really believe in his stories.

If writing continues for too long, it may indicate a lack of self-confidence.

Encourage your child's imagination, play with him and write different stories together, but don't help him move too far from reality.

As the structure of speech is formed It will become increasingly easier for the child to distinguish the imaginary from the real.

“The point here is not only the ability to express one’s thoughts, but also that the child can play with words.

— A good criterion for the ability not to confuse fantasies with reality is the ability to understand metaphors and figurative meaning words

- This is not given immediately; at first it is still difficult for a child to get used to the numerous meanings of one word, but gradually it is the knowledge of the “multidimensionality” of speech that will allow him to become familiar with the poetic properties of language.

- Starting from the age of four, a child is already able to construct his own inventions, build a story, and subsequently this will help him to be critical of attempts to make him believe in something.

Make-believe reflects your child's anxiety Imagination helps your child channel, that is, “redirect,” worries and fears. This is why we need to tell children fairy tales.

By using fairy tales You can find a solution to your internal conflict. It would be difficult to go into all the details here, so let’s just say that they can be used for this stories whose heroes are not omnipotent and therefore, not being able to get out of the situation on their own, accept help from the outside, if necessary - magical. In the images of the wizard or sorceress helping out the hero, the child sees a father or mother, in other words, a parental figure who sets an example of a friendly attitude towards him.

However, in order to overcome all fears, especially evening and night fears, fairy tales alone are not enough.

Parents should learn to distinguish between evening terrors, which occur at bedtime and reflect separation anxiety, and nightmares or night terrors that occur during sleep.

When evening comes and it's time to go to bed, children often remember their fears of monsters, ghosts or thieves.

- No need to take the bait, join the game and actually look for monsters under the bed or in the closet. Just calm the child down and sit next to him. Don't give him the impression that you yourself believe in monsters or ghosts.

— Twilight, shadows on the walls can excite the baby's imagination and increase his anxiety. An ordinary night light can solve the problem.

- Never resort to fantastic threats to force your child to obey! No witch will come for him if he refuses to eat, and no cannibal will eat him if he behaves badly in kindergarten.

- Ask him: Skillfully asked questions will help you find out what your baby is especially afraid of.

Children's imagination is a divided imagination: in kindergarten, children tell each other “horror stories,” discuss TV shows, and brag about their misdeeds.

- Make sure that your child does not watch TV before(see “TV and video games”), and if he is drawn to the blue screen, he should not watch anything other than cartoons for his age. It should be borne in mind that some programs, even those intended for “the little ones,” can arouse anxiety in children, in particular if the themes of the programs reflect their own fantasies, the world of their imagination.

- From four to five years old a child sometimes begins to like precisely those stories that cause him fear.

— If your child has nightmares or is overcome by anxiety in the evenings, you need to prohibit him from “horror stories.”

If a child still believes in Santa Claus

Your child is five or six years old... Most likely, it will turn out that his faith in Santa Claus will not last long.

But what does faith even mean for a child?

When he is very little, he believes everything that adults say. Then he begins to understand that others may have opinions different from his, and beliefs that are not the same as his own.

If at this age he still believes in Santa Claus, this belief now reflects him own desire, but it is no longer the case that he joins the beliefs of adults.

- If your child asks questions, answer them honestly. even if you feel sorry that your son or daughter will lose some of their childish naivety.

- Remember that Santa Claus does not come to reinforce your parental authority by bringing gifts only to obedient children.

“Children who no longer believe that Santa Claus really exists still believe in fairy tales and legends: they continue to draw Santa Claus and even write letters to him, “for fun.”

— Gradually, thanks to all this, Santa Claus turns into a poetic metaphor for parental love (and parental authority).

In the work of psychoanalyst Octave Mannoni**, dedicated to faith and beliefs, it is shown that we truly believe in Santa Claus only when we know that “he does not exist.”

There is no paradox here: faith is a means of keeping to oneself the most beautiful part of reality, knowing that it does not exist. This is probably why parents value their child’s faith in Santa Claus so much and strive to preserve it for a long time.

* There is even such a special concept - “the period of magically hallucinatory omnipotence.”

**Octave Mannoni (1899-1989)- a French psychoanalyst and cultural philosopher, explained, for example, the popularity of horror films and other similar genres this way: despite the fact that the main moves and techniques are known to the viewer in advance and he is well aware of the unreality of what is happening on the screen, subconsciously he wants to return to the level of “childhood” , magical thinking. Mannoni expressed this paradox of preferring the “childish”, animistic way of perceiving the world to the “adult”, scientific perception with the formula: “Yes, I know, nevertheless...”

Recent international data indicate that the number of children with autism spectrum disorders exceeds the number of children with Down syndrome, oncology, deafness and blindness in the aggregate. It is known that in Russia the diagnosis of autism is made much later than in European countries and the USA. Due to late diagnosis, many children do not receive specialized care in a timely manner, which negatively affects development, learning and socialization. Most parents and teachers do not have sufficient information on how to distinguish between manifestations of child behavior characteristic of normal development from its pathological forms or mental illness.

The purpose of the article is to highlight the most important signs the phenomenon of pathological fantasy to improve the psychological correction of relationships with the child and create optimal conditions for his development. The material was prepared based on the results of a study of 84 families with children 3-9 years old who applied to the Institute of Integrative Family Therapy and Children's Psychiatric Hospital No. 6 in Moscow from 2002 to 2012 for advisory, diagnostic and therapeutic help regarding “special” fantasies and games for children. Of all the families - 9 children (families) - were sent by teachers and kindergarten teachers educational institutions Moscow, with which the Institute of Integrative Family Therapy cooperates. All children from the observation group were examined by a psychiatrist, families participated in classes with a family psychologist, and also attended children’s and child-parent correctional and developmental groups, both weekly on an outpatient basis in the autumn-winter-spring period, and daily in summer period as part of the work of the family rehabilitation psychological camp "Emerald City".

Part 1. Stories from life

Educator kindergarten: "Misha N., 5.5 years old. He's a good boy, but he doesn't respond to his name! I say: "Misha, let's draw a picture", and he answers: " I'm not Misha, but Hercules!"It's like this all the time: if someone addresses him by name - me, another teacher or the guys - he gets angry and shouts: " I told you so! I am not Misha, but Hercules". It also worries me that it is difficult for him to concentrate on tasks. He always thinks about something of his own and seems to stop hearing me. He doesn’t like to run with the guys, plays by himself in the corner, mutters something under his breath and always carries the same toy with him - a figurine of a knight. He never takes the toys that we have in the group, plays only with his own and under no circumstances gives it to other children.

A teacher who conducts classes to prepare for school: " Kostya S.. Very smart - reads big books already at the age of 6, I recently read Carlson myself, can you imagine? But when he reads something, he then plays only this character. Last month As soon as he comes, he runs around in circles in the room, you can’t get him to study or play. Runs and buzzes. I ask him to stop, but Kostya says that it’s not him, but Carlson who is “buzzing”, that’s how the engine works! We tried everything - begged, persuaded, scolded - nothing helps! Even mom was asked to join in, because it’s very difficult to work: other children are distracted too! And my mother says that it’s the same at home: if you call Kostya for dinner, he doesn’t come, but if you call Carlson, he immediately runs. Tell me, should I continue to play this game with him? Wait until he gets bored?"

Psychologist - leader of child-parent psychological group: "A 5-year-old girl and her mother come to our classes. The girl is very quiet, shy - she sits on her mother’s lap all the time, holding her hand. And for some reason he really doesn’t like his name. At the very first lesson, she (with the help of her mother, whispering in her ear) asked her to call her not Tanya, but Oika, and her mother - not Svetlana, but Masha (from the fairy tale about Masha and Oika). She does various tasks, like all other children: she does puzzles wonderfully, draws well, but she is almost always silent or whispers something in her mother’s ear. If we all play together, she never answers out loud, even if she knows the answer: she whispers in her ear so that her mother will speak for her. We did not hear her voice until her mother accidentally called her by name (not Oika, but Tanya). Then she got so angry! She screamed loudly at her mother. Mom later said that she is not at all quiet at home, and talks to her loved ones in a normal loud voice... I can’t imagine how she will be able to go to school in a year!".

Teacher primary school: "Nikita T., 7.5 years old. The boy reads well, writes well, everything is in order with mathematics, i.e. does well in all subjects. But there is something that surprises and even worries me. He really doesn't like some words - he just can't stand them! For example, for some reason he doesn’t like the word “tiger” - he wants everyone to say “lion”, or even to say “rat” and not “mouse”, and he doesn’t like the word “snowman”. If someone says these words in front of him, he becomes terribly angry, screams, and is ready to get into a fight. I ask him: "Why don't you like them?" Doesn't answer. At the same time, he draws these snowmen all the time. And then he covers it up completely so that it is not visible, and always with a black felt-tip pen. He's not very good with the guys good relationship. He hardly plays with them and often comes to me to complain: “Why is Petya looking at me? Tell him to stop looking at me!” But I see that Petya doesn’t do anything bad to him, doesn’t offend him. I don’t understand how to explain to Nikita that no one wants anything bad for him - not Petya, not Styopa, not the other guys!".

Mother of a 6 year old boy: " Seryozha began to talk very early and immediately in long phrases, not like a child. He has a very rich imagination. He comes up with something all the time. Most of all he likes to talk about the planet of Cats: how everything works there and what is there. He talks about it for hours. To be honest, after a while I stop understanding what is being said, I can only listen and nod. And he wants everyone to play this planet with him - me, my husband, and the boys. He is always in the game - he is Martyushonok, it’s like a kitten that lives on that planet. My husband and I sometimes play a little, and then we say: “Well, maybe now we can play hide and seek? Or dominoes?” But he doesn’t want, he insists that we play only this planet... Seryozha also likes to listen to audio books. He turns it on in his room, sits on the swing at the sports complex and listens for hours. He has a wonderful memory! He can tell any fairy tale from anywhere, as if he were teaching it, and loves to use phrases from there in his speech. Our grandmother especially likes this because then he looks like a little scientist".

Part 2. Normal and pathological fantasies (games)

All the cases described above will alert a clinical psychologist and child psychiatrist. Each story contains different manifestations of the same phenomenon, which in medical language is called “pathological fantasy,” and, with some degree of probability, we can talk about autism spectrum disorder or other mental disorders. One of the stages of normal development of a preschool child is the period of role-playing games, when children, while playing, imagine themselves as a knight, dragon, Batman, truck or alien. Parents, educators and teachers know that children can have one or more favorite characters (often these are cartoon and book characters) and play with them with pleasure: they try to copy the appearance, outfits, movements, and speech of this character. The described stage, during which the child has the opportunity to “try on” different roles and types of behavior in play, is very important for development. Thanks to such gaming activities, thinking, attention, memory, speech, and communication skills develop. Trying on various images, both “bad” and “good”, children become aware of themselves, their boundaries, their “I”, learn social norms and rules, and can be spontaneous and creative. Distinctive feature In the child’s psyche there is a fine line between fantasy and reality. It is precisely with the immaturity of the child’s psyche, in general, and with maturation emotional sphere(and later the sphere of thinking) is associated with the appearance at a certain age (about 5 years) in children of various fears - darkness, wild animals, fairy-tale creatures (Baba Yaga, ghosts), as well as the emergence of not only healthy, but also pathological forms of fantasies, . Observation of children at psychiatrist appointments, during family consultations, group classes allowed us to differentiate the manifestations of healthy and pathological fantasies (games). Comparative characteristics of figurative fantasies and plot games; Healthy fantasies and story games ; Pathological fantasies and games Fantasies and games are of an arbitrary nature, i.e. arise at the request of the child. Pathological fantasies can arise involuntarily, i.e. regardless of the child’s will, sometimes in “surges”. Healthy games are connected to reality to one degree or another. Pathological fantasies and games can be “divorced” from reality. Fantasies or games have plots and images that are understandable to others. Fantasies are bizarre (sometimes pretentious) in content. People around you, including close relatives and educators, do not always understand the content of the game or fantasy. Healthy games and fantasies are characterized by a quick change of plot, “mobility” of the game - today there will be one option, tomorrow - another (or with one person we play one thing, and with another we play another). In the pathological version, there is stereotypicality of fantasies, images, and actions. The plot of the game is constantly repeated. The extraordinary persistence of the hero's choice remains. Fantasies are flexible in choosing items to play with. Same type, monotonous and monotonous games with game and non-game objects are essentially stereotypical actions and manipulations (sorting objects, laying them out in rows, closing and opening lids, pulling threads out of clothes). Continuation of the table. Fantasies can be suitable for both individual and cooperative play. An ordinary game that a child played alone can be joined by other children or adults with the continuation, change and development of the plot and rules. Suitable for both individual and joint play. However, if the game did not initially imply the inclusion of someone outside, the child may react extremely sharply and negatively to an attempt to interrupt or interfere with it. Likewise, he may be extremely sensitive or aggressive about the refusal of others to participate in his game. There is a willingness to agree on the plot of the game. It is very difficult or impossible to influence the game (plot). In the game, the child agrees on roles (his own and those of others), and is ready to change roles. The roles of the participants are strictly distributed and stable. The child may abandon his game in favor of a more attractive game offered “from the outside.” The child does not give up his play, insists on continuing it, or ignores suggestions from “outside”. Movements and actions usually correspond to the plot of the fantasy (game). The child’s actions may be of the same type, stereotypical movements are manifested in motor skills (for example, shaking hands), monotonous manipulations with objects are observed for a long time. Movements and actions do not always correspond to the plot. Games and fantasies can have different emotional connotations, both in intensity (weak, strong experiences) and in sign (positive or negative feelings). They may be accompanied by very vivid figurative fears, excitement, and emotional “charge.” It is possible to develop fantasies in which physical harm or pain is caused to someone (i.e. they can be aggressively sadistic in nature). Continuation of Table 1. Normally they are not accompanied by visualization of images. Often accompanied by visualization of images, i.e. children “see” the heroes of their fantasies or themselves (with autoscopic visualizations). The child knows where, when and how play is separated from “non-play”, and is ready to switch to another activity. There is a “continuity” of actions; the child does not consider his actions to be a game and believes in the “reality” of fantasies. Fantasies will manifest themselves in game situations. But if the game is over, the child will be ready to talk on other topics, fulfill requests, do other things independently or with someone else. Fantasies can manifest themselves when there is no place for play and can lead to maladjustment. Children do not distinguish between situations when behavior is appropriate (for example, on the playground) or inappropriate (school lesson). Children engage in other activities with pleasure or obligation. Pathological fantasizing can “crowd out” other types of activity. The child is so immersed in the game (fantasy) and so engrossed that he may forget that he is sitting in class, cold, hungry and wants to sleep. Pathological fantasies are often accompanied by behavioral or emotional characteristics of the child, which will vary depending on the age and type of disorder. The list below was partially described in the literature, but supplemented and detailed as a result of our observations:

  • stereotypical movements, for example, a child can run in a circle, walk on tiptoes, spin in place, move from obstacle to obstacle, flap his arms (like wings), fold his hands on his chest and shake them;
  • anxiety and wariness, both in relation to people and in relation to any changes in life, new places;
  • selectivity in food, refusal to try new types of food;
  • reluctance to come into contact with people, especially peers, or, conversely, “limitless” communication with strangers, without taking into account distance;
  • avoiding eye contact (i.e. during communication the child will look not at the interlocutor, but to the side);
  • avoidance of touching oneself, one’s skin or, on the contrary, an urgent need to touch people, including strangers;
  • refusal to speak with strangers (despite the fact that in home environment speech is normal and age appropriate);
  • the use of neologisms in speech, repetitions of words after the interlocutor or syllables completing a word;
  • refusal to respond to one’s name (for a long time), negative reactions of the child when an adult tries to insist;
  • refusal to fulfill any requests or actions (negativism), and sometimes complete ignoring of people around him;
  • a “cool” or indifferent attitude towards relatives, combined with a high level of individual sensitivity, touchiness (in situations where one is talking about oneself);
  • tendency to impulsive, unpredictable actions or behavior;
  • fatigue, inability long time engage in one type of activity, exhaustion, difficulty concentrating (for example, if it is necessary to complete a task given by the teacher), combined, as noted earlier, with prolonged immersion in a dominant fantasy (game), which does not cause fatigue;
  • deep (overvalued) interest in certain topics (for example, transport, computers, dinosaurs or flowers) with complete indifference to other topics;
  • fears that differ from ordinary children's fears in a vivid emotional reaction, originality and unusualness of the plot, persistence and lack of reaction to correction (fear of a subway ride, colors on the wallpaper, dirty food, noise of water, carpet fluff, etc.).

Pathological fantasies can be signs(symptoms) various according to the etiopathogenesis (by nature) of diseases:

  • As mentioned earlier, in some cases we are talking about various types of violations autism spectrum.
  • There may be cases when the child’s condition indicates transferred(or transferable to at the moment ) complex or traumatic life situation. Fantasies and play play a protective and compensatory role, helping the child cope with stress and tension.
  • In practice, there are situations in which compensatory psychological mechanisms arise in a child with autism spectrum disorders, i.e. a combination of the first and second types is observed.

However, in most cases, for parents, teachers and educators, it is not important how these characteristics were formed in the child. Much more important is the answer to the question: What can and should be done about this? ONLY a specialist with a higher medical or psychological education can determine whether what is happening to a child is a disorder or is within the framework of normal development. Consequently, if educators or teachers find a number of the above symptoms in the child’s behavior - in all cases, this is a reason to recommend parents (or legal representatives) consultation at least two specialists: children's psychiatrist And family psychologist. The best option is for these to be colleagues who can jointly advise the family, coordinating their recommendations. As a result of the cooperation of these specialists, a scheme for further action can be proposed. Seeing just one of these specialists may not be enough! Why a psychiatrist and not a neurologist (neurologist)? It is the child psychiatrist who will be able to determine the presence/absence of serious mental disorders of the child, and if necessary prescribe drug therapy. If a child is diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder, the doctor will be able to observe the dynamics of the condition and recommend possible ways of treatment and rehabilitation. different stages course of the disease. Why not a child psychologist, but a family psychologist? The child’s behavior with a high degree of probability may be associated with the characteristics of interaction in the family, or with the events that occur in the family. In addition, the whole family needs to learn to coordinate their reactions to the child’s behavior, master new ways of contact with the child, and look for other opportunities for development and learning. In the event that pathological fantasizing in a child is a consequence of his experience of a traumatic situation, working with a family psychologist (psychotherapist) will be of particular importance. Individual lessons only with a child psychologist in this case will most likely be ineffective. In addition, it is necessary to advise parents to develop, together with specialists and other significant adults (relatives, teachers, nannies), a general line of behavior and a strategy for building relationships with the child. For such children, clear and precise rules, stability and predictability of adults’ reactions are very important.

Part 3. Practical ideas for interacting with children who have a tendency to pathological fantasy

So, a psychiatrist will help parents understand what caused the child to develop pathological fantasies (or similar symptoms), determine the nature of the disease and indicate ways to help the child and the family as a whole. Clinical and family psychologists will “pick up” this part correctional work. But there are certain educational tasks that, in any case, can be solved by people close to the child (relatives), as well as those who are directly involved in his training and development (educators and educators). These tasks cannot in any way replace a consultation with a doctor; they are “accompanying”, “accompanying”, having applied and practical significance. Below are recommendations that can be used by adults when choosing possible ways to respond to various options for the “special” behavior of a child with pathological fantasy and to similar characteristics in healthy children. These recommendations are not sufficient to address the problem and eliminate symptomatic behavior if this behavior is associated with serious mental disorders. The recommendations are general in nature; each case requires individual consideration. However, many “moves” are applicable in the everyday work of teachers, as well as in the interaction of parents with children, helping both the child and those around him to have some kind of “support under his feet” and better understand what is happening. Name and game transformation. Name — this is what is one of the main ways to identify oneself, one’s “I” and is given by parents at birth. Different peoples had and still have special naming rituals. With pathological fantasy, a child, losing the line between reality and the world of fantasy, “becoming” the hero of a fairy tale or cartoon, in some sense loses himself, his boundaries, his “I”, refuses to belong to his family and parents. Considering that the line between fiction and reality for a child is age characteristics erased, options when others unconditionally support the proposed renaming game can only exacerbate the problem. Having agreed that it is not Misha who goes to class, but Hercules, the adults support the child in this blurring of the line between what actually is and how he would like it to be. Also, it would not be a useful action on the part of an adult to be willing (consent) to give up one’s own name and one’s own freedom of action. Agreeing to “not be yourself” is possible only if you can define game framework, which has start, end And clear rules. Such a game is permissible only for a limited time (not from morning to night) and cannot be uncomfortable for any of the participants (otherwise it is no longer a game, but violence). The game needs to be relevant from the point of view of the surrounding reality. If playing “daddy elephant and baby elephant” is good at home, then you should not introduce the names of these animals in a pre-school group (since the situation is not a game and it has other goals and objectives). At the same time, according to our data and literature data, it is important to take into account that the tactics of a direct and categorical dispute with a child about what to call him may be ineffective, because in many cases, the child's response will be aggression and other negative reactions. Adult's task — help separate the game from the "non-game", the imaginary from the real, the appropriate from the inappropriate - and at the same time demonstrate interest and respect for what is important to the child. What might this look like in practice?

  • If a child has chosen a favorite character, it is always useful to find out why the child chose this character. Possible questions might look like this: Please tell me why you like this hero? What does he like to do? How are you similar and how are you different? Why do you want to be called by his name? Why don’t you want to be called by the name your dad and mom gave you??
  • Marking boundaries on the part of adults: " Okay, Misha, now let's play that you are Hercules. We will play for 10 minutes (you can set a timer or alarm), and then you will become Misha again. If you want, we can play this game again later.". Exactly after 10 minutes the game stops, and if desired, it resumes after the agreed time.
  • For educational and developmental purposes, as well as to establish contact, in some cases it is possible and appropriate to “integrate” into play and fantasy (as a continuation or variant of the previous paragraph, with clear time boundaries). Let's illustrate with the story of a boy who wanted to be Carlson: "Now we will have a game of Carlson, who lives on the roof. Today our Carlson will not only fly and buzz, but he will also jump on one leg! (Everyone is running in a circle and jumping). Thank you. And now Carlson is not just will fly, and will track down the thieves on the roof! To do this, when he hears my clap of my hands, he will need to freeze in place and not move - otherwise he will scare away the thieves, and when I clap my hands twice, he will be able to fly further... Thank you. And now we will play with another story - how Carlson steals buns from Freken Bok. The buns will be figures in a bag (each one has his own, Carlson needs to look at the card and find exactly such a bun-figurine in his bag... Thank you for the next one). Since we’ll play Carlson again, we’ll treat him when he got sick, and now it’s time for another game.”

"The child constantly fantasizes"/" leaves reality for his imaginary world"(but does not like to do anything with his hands; does not know how to cooperate; does not like playing with peers). In such cases, you should help the child “ground” his figurative inner world, make it more concrete and material. The principle “don’t tell me, but show me how it works” will work here. Further using various materials and forms, the child can show what he came up with or invented. Designers, plasticine, pencils, salt dough for modeling, finger paints. It’s good if creativity works around this joint activities, in which you can cooperate, help each other, learn to interact. If a mother (or any other person) sculpts something of her own next to the child, and then asks for help to sculpt (finish) an important detail, then this will already be completely real interaction and communication, in the present real, real and not fictional world. In response, you can offer your child help and add new details to his project. This creates the opportunity to build dialogue And expand that narrow corridor that is defined by the rigid boundaries of a pathological stereotypical image. At the same time, other development tasks are being addressed, for example, improving fine motor skills. It is especially important to note that such children (who tend to “go off into their own world”) are negatively affected by watching television programs, as well as any types of computer games(including those available on mobile phones and game consoles). Any virtual “reality” will increase maladjustment , so use any electronic means should be limited. The child has an intense interest in one topic. If a child is passionate about one thing, then often his level of knowledge turns out to be uneven, and his overall development is disharmonious. The task of parents and teachers is the development of those zones and areas that are less developed , because do not fall into the field that in itself interests the child. At the same time, it is important to have sincere respect and acceptance of the interests of the child ( to numbers and figures, to computer programming, to botany or astronomy). If the child uncommunicative— it will be important for him to help establish different contacts and maintain relationships with peers. If a child prefers sedentary activities, he will need to find suitable look sports The child exhibits peculiarities of the emotional sphere. A distinctive feature of children with a tendency to pathological fantasy is the originality and/or insufficient development of the emotional sphere. In general, these children are more anxious and impressionable than others. They may be more sensitive to events and incidents and find it more difficult to adapt to changes. They may be characterized by coldness and aloofness towards people, ignoring the interests and feelings of others. Helpful actions for adults will include:

  • Verbal "reflection" of emotional and behavioral reactions: "You're crying now, you're probably very sad... You're screaming now... You're probably very angry if you threw the toy like that... It hurts me when you push me.". With the help of such voicing of the child’s actions and emotions, you can gradually help him to better distinguish the processes that take place in him. Similar to voicing, you can ask him to name what he feels: I'm afraid/I'm happy/I'm tired/I'm not happy/I'm hungry.
  • It is very important to encourage your child to so that he pays attention to the state and mood of those around him, their reactions, facial expressions. It is necessary to demonstrate to the child various ways empathy for the people around you and possible responses, showing in practice how this can be done (pity, console, sympathize, support).
  • Very neat and thoughtful respond to fears child. Of course, they need to be taken into account and not ignored. However, if adults always and in everything support the child in his emotions ( keep all windows locked to prevent the Inflatable Blue Donkey from flying in; always go to the toilet with your child, because otherwise he is scared alone) - fears can only intensify. If an adult, through his actions, shows a child that his fear is terrible for him (the adult), he thereby, as it were, confirms the child’s fears, making them more real. Finding the “golden mean” can be difficult, but it is absolutely necessary.
  • For such children, stability and predictability in life are very important (which in itself reduces the level of anxiety and fear). This implies the presence of clear, simple, accessible to the child, specific And clear rules according to which the child lives (including daily routine). Rules and requirements must be supported by all adults without exception. The child will inevitably test these boundaries for mobility or stability, sometimes provoking the parents and creating in them a feeling of helplessness. It is important to remember that for a child with pathological fantasy - much more than for other, “ordinary” children - unambiguity is important: This is possible, but this is not possible.
  • Important and useful for children in this group tactile and eye contact in in different forms. Sometimes touch is one way to attract and maintain attention on what is meaningful. Physical contact can be a way to draw the line between what is permitted and what is forbidden ( for example, physically holding your hand and preventing you from running across the road). Tactile contact in the form of hugs, kisses, massage can be a way to reduce the general level of anxiety and tension in a child. In addition, you should persistently ask the child to look at the person who is talking to him.

In conclusion, I would like to draw attention to the fact that the choice of interaction between an adult and a child is influenced by some basic ideas. Firstly, acceptance of reality. This means that you need to agree with the fact that in front of you is a child who is different from many of his peers and has characteristics. It is important to know these features, acknowledge their presence, and agree with the fact of their identification. Those. specialists (teachers, educators) need to avoid the temptation to “write off” the presence of peculiarities as the fact that everyone has different characters, or to reassure parents with the words that “it will go away on its own”/ “it will outgrow.” It is difficult for parents and other loved ones to accept the fact that their child is not like everyone else, and differences can prevent him from being successful and make it impossible for him to realize parental expectations and hopes. However, it must be taken into account that the child’s psyche is flexible and has many compensatory capabilities. That is why timely, coordinated assistance from parents, teachers, psychologists and doctors can help get out of the situation with “the least losses.” Secondly, any actions (as well as lack of actions) have consequences and affect other people. The most important medical principle “do no harm” will be very appropriate here. The reaction of others (both family members and any other people) to the characteristics of the child’s behavior, in turn, has various kinds of “response impact” on him. This effect can help overcome fears, anxiety or smooth out various features, and strengthen these manifestations. Sometimes in order to work out the optimal way to build relationships with special child, sometimes you need help and support from outside. For parents, this is a conversation with an understanding and supportive teacher (psychologist, doctor), and for specialists (including teachers), such help and support in working with a “difficult” child can be the help of a more experienced colleague - a supervisor.

Literature and other information sources

  1. Autism and Asperger syndrome: some facts and statistics; The National Autistic Society; 2012.
  2. Autism Statistics: Local authority statistics; Autistic Society; 2012.
  3. Data & Statistics; Centers for Disease Control and Prevention; 2012.
  4. Peters T. "Autism: from theoretical understanding to pedagogical influence" St. Petersburg: Institute of Special Pedagogy and Psychology, 1999, - 192 p.
  5. Obukhova L.F. "Children's (age) psychology. M. 1996-374 p.
  6. Iovchuk N.M., Severny A.A., Morozova N.B. "Children's social psychiatry for non-psychiatrists." Publishing house "Peter", Moscow. 2006.
  7. Kovalev V.V. "Psychiatry childhood. Guide for doctors. 2nd edition". Moscow. 1995.
  8. Isaev D.N. "Children's medical psychology." M., 2005.
  9. Lyutova E.K., Monina G.B. "Crib for adults: Psychocorrectional work with hyperactive, aggressive, anxious and autistic children. St. Petersburg, "Rech" 2007.