The concept of happiness is purely subjective. For some, a happy family is a teetotal husband and a thrifty wife, for others it is a whole crowd of laughing children, for others it is prosperity in the house, etc. It turns out that there is happiness, but everyone has their own.

Is it possible to build relationships in a family in such a way that it can be called happy, so that it is the way you want it to be, so that it fits into your understanding of the word “happiness”. It turns out that it is possible.

Of course, it is strange that in our schools there is no subject that would teach children how to maintain love and relationships in the family. Meanwhile, this science is very complex. Each of us has to comprehend it, as they say, by trial and error.

But still, despite the fact that everyone needs completely different things to be happy, there are several simple rules, knowing which you can build a strong, happy family, where love is mutual, and trials will only strengthen the marriage.

Tell me about your desires

Quite often in families it happens that one of the spouses expects some action from the other, but this does not happen.

For example, a wife is making preparations for the winter and expects her husband to come into the kitchen and help her roll up the jars. And he, unaware that she is already tired (after all, the kitchen, from his point of view, is a purely female territory) and needs help. The further development of events depends on the character and upbringing of the woman - it can be gloomy silence, reproaches, and scandals.

Psychotherapist Harry Benson has been working with couples for twenty years, helping them save their marriages. But one day his own family almost fell apart. Trying to understand where he went wrong, the specialist opened main secret happy marriage. Here is his story.

“When my wife Kate touches her chin, something hurts. If she takes a certain position, I understand that it is sciatica. Now I notice dozens of tiny details that indicate her feelings and condition. When she speaks, I look into her eyes, although before I could hide behind the newspaper, feigning interest.

I can now call our marriage strong and happy: there is a lot of laughter, conversations and, most importantly, love. The reason is that Kate and I are in harmony. I learned to put her interests first, to think about her and her needs. It's difficult, but in the end we both win.

I learned the hard way that a marriage can fail when the husband stops caring enough for his wife. “We have moved away” - it’s already official common reason divorces in the UK than infidelity. And the tragedy is that often this could have been avoided.

Relationships that could be saved are in danger of breaking down so often that almost half of British teenagers no longer live with both biological parents.

However, there is hope. Paradoxical as it may seem, life together in unhappy marriage- sometimes the best thing a couple can do to save their relationship. It is enough just to admit that your unhappiness is just a transitional state to something else.

A bad situation can improve. Children grow up, and it becomes easier with them. People can change their attitude towards different things. Our intentions are the most important factor. If we want to be together, through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, we will be together.

Over 20 years, I have helped thousands of couples get their happy marriage. And my formula is simple: “A happy wife is happy life" Relying on her, I saved my own marriage.

You might be surprised, but after interviewing about three hundred wives and mothers who now describe themselves as happily married, I learned that half of them were “unhappy” in the past, and a quarter were “very dissatisfied” with their marriages.

The key qualities that women surveyed want to see in their husbands were “interested in me,” “interested in children,” and kindness. "Golden hands", big salary, sexuality and entrepreneurship were at the bottom of the list.

When mom is happy, the rest of the family is happy, and especially dad. This is a simple truth that I have learned and accepted. When I took charge of our marriage, Kate rose to the top of my priority list.

My wife told me that she was deeply unhappy 8 years after the wedding.

“You know I love you, Harry. But since we had children, it has become more and more difficult for me to talk to you. We already have an established life, and you get along great with children. But it seems to me that you are not at all interested in me. We stopped being friends and I feel lonely. I don’t know how long I can stand this,” Kate told me.

For me it was like a bolt from the blue. Is my marriage falling apart? I never thought about such a turn of events.

Looking back, I can't believe I was oblivious to how close we were to the point of no turning back. We had two little daughters whom we adored. My job allowed us to lead a comfortable lifestyle. But losing Kate meant losing my children. This thought struck me to the core.

We all know that even good marriages fall apart, but we never believe that this will happen to us. But fortunately for both of us, Kate didn't leave me. So to begin with, I tried to become her friend again, to be attentive to her.


Now, after 30 years of marriage, we are both happier than ever. If I had known from the beginning what I know now, we would never have been on the brink of divorce. My main role is to be responsible for our marriage, to love Kate, to be her friend, to be kind to her. When I deal with this, our marriage remains strong and we become a true team as parents.

This is what moms want. Here's what dads need to know. This is a simple formula that holds the strongest marriages.

After Kate's ultimatum 22 years ago, our lives changed dramatically. We had four more children. I started saying “I love you” more often, noticing her new dress and asking how she was feeling.

And I would like to advise everyone who has already prepared documents for divorce to still pause before taking this step.”

The formula for family happiness is perhaps one of the most difficult formulas in life. A successful marriage is what most of us strive for. And something that many never manage to create. Divorces, divorces, divorces... Unhappy spouses, children deprived of the attention of one of the parents, loneliness firmly settled in the house. All this can be found at every step. But marriages are created with the hope of a long and happy life together! Why does it work out for some and not for others? What are the secrets of family happiness and do they even exist?

There are. And now we will try to find out what these secrets are.

What does family happiness depend on?

What is the main secret of family happiness? If you look at the relationship of happy couples more closely, you will notice something in common. Firstly, spouses in such couples simply do not exist without each other. In such families there is no separate “I”, but an inextricably linked “we”. Secondly, in successful marriages, husband and wife communicate a lot with each other. They discuss joint plans, problems, relationships with friends and family, the difficulties of professional activities, and so on. Thirdly, in strong families There is trust, thanks to which partners are as frank as possible with each other. They even tell each other about things that someone else is ashamed to talk about. And they know how to forgive their life partners, not criticizing their actions, but gently advising them. And finally, in happy families they do not stir up the past, remembering only the good.

Why it happened that one person became the real half of another is difficult to determine exactly. However, there are several conditions under which the likelihood of a successful marriage increases significantly. These include:

  • Love and respect

    It must be admitted that not all marriages are created on the basis lasting love. The superficial feeling of falling in love can quickly disappear, leaving an emptiness in its place. Therefore, if we have already decided to start a family, we must learn to transform falling in love into love. And try to respect your soul mate. It happens that in a family only one of the spouses truly and deeply loves. The other simply allows himself to be loved. This is where respect for your life partner is especially important. On its basis, immense affection for a loving partner can develop, which can eventually turn into love;

  • The ability to accept another person as they are

    We all have both advantages and disadvantages. This is the integrity of human nature, its individuality and, in fact, attractiveness. Trying to remake your soul mate is a thankless task. Yes, and meaningless, because advantages and disadvantages are relative concepts. Each person decides for himself what suits him in another and what does not. The opinions of others should not be the main thing in this matter and cannot be a reason for persistent attempts to change your life partner;

  • Trust and openness

    In happy families, spouses are not afraid to confess their most secret things to each other. Confident that they will be understood, they openly express their feelings. This allows you to eliminate suspicion from the relationship and have no doubt that in a difficult situation your partner will support you and will not betray you;

  • Joint business

    A joint endeavor can be the desire to purchase furniture, a car, housing, decorating an apartment, cleaning, preparing dinner... The main thing is that the spouses enjoy it and are unanimous in their decisions. In addition, it is important that they share responsibility for the consequences of any actions. And, if troubles arose, they did not blame each other, but tried to deal with them together;

  • Lack of competition

    In happy families, husband and wife do not compete with each other either in everyday life or in professional matters. They sincerely rejoice at the achievements of their other half and do not find out which of them is more talented or luckier;

  • Ability to constructively resolve conflicts

    Not even the most prosperous family can do without quarrels. However, in strong marriages conflicts have boundaries. Partners do not allow themselves to humiliate and insult each other, and certainly do not throw everything they can get their hands on. Each of them intuitively knows when to stop. And if the insults were nevertheless uttered in the heat of a quarrel, the spouses know how to forgive them;

  • Mutual sense of humor

    This is especially useful during a brewing conflict. When two people have the ability to turn everything into a joke and laugh at the situation together, their relationship can be considered healthy and the marriage strong. If not, it's time to sound the alarm: life together gave a crack;

  • The desire to do something nice for your partner

    This includes affectionate nicknames, and gifts, and a desire to help, and gentle touches, and a meeting from work and much more. Maybe someone will find the addresses “bunny”, “cat”, “honey” to be sweet. However, without them, family life takes on a certain officialness, which does not allow the spouses to truly get closer. Cute words coupled with unexpected ones pleasant surprises as if they were saying: “You are my very dear person! I always remember you and want to bring you joy”;

  • Ability to properly build relationships with parents

    “Building things correctly” in happy families means discussing all the news, moments of crisis and some major events, first of all, among themselves. It's no secret that many of us, when even minor friction with our husbands arise, run to complain to our mother. The result of such complaints is usually an ever-increasing hostility of the parents towards their husband and the husband towards them. It may well lead to the collapse of the family, even if the spouses initially did not want this at all. Therefore, you should not interfere with your parents in your family affairs. Let them just be very close people, and not controllers and managers.

    • Well, here, perhaps, are all the main secrets of family happiness. Of course, every prosperous family has its own little secrets and its own rituals that help preserve and strengthen the relationship between spouses. But no rituals will save us from troubles if we begin to re-educate our soul mate, begin to constantly hide something from him, do not trust each other and do not find common points of contact for communication. A family where each spouse lives on their own cannot be considered complete. This is simply a cohabitation of two people who are still comfortable with each other. Their future is unclear, their well-being is doubtful. Is it worth creating such marriages?

    Each of us dreams of happiness. And we often rush to get married, believing that it is in marriage that we will find him. And then we lament because the husband turned out not to be what we wanted, normal family It didn’t work out, scandals don’t stop in the house or there’s a gloomy, deaf silence. Why do we need such a life? Wouldn't it be better to wait for someone who would be safe and warm next to you?

    Let's see in what case marriage promises to be successful and whether we are ready for family life.

    Conditions for a successful marriage

    So, we meet a rather handsome young man and seem to be ready to run with him to the registry office. Stop. Family life is not a stroll along the boulevard or a pleasant cruise on the Mediterranean Sea. This is painstaking daily work and almost constant work on oneself. Young ladies who are not capable of such work usually fail to simplify their lives with the help of marriage. But it’s easy to complicate things.

    Therefore, before you put on wedding dress, let’s think about whether we really need this young man and whether we are deceiving ourselves and him. Get along for two to different people It’s not easy in one area. After all, they grew up in different conditions and were brought up differently. This means that the spouses will have to go through a period of grinding in, which implies patience, forbearance, and the ability to forgive. Without them, marriage will turn into a complete hell, where even the harmless habits of a husband or wife can cause a huge scandal.

    If we feel a strong attraction to a young man, we can certainly quickly accept his lifestyle. Well, when there is no such attraction, it will be difficult for both. Attempts to change a spouse, to force him to live his own way, will either push the man away or break him. In the first case, he will begin to leave home more and more often; in the second, he will turn into a weak-willed henpecked person or an alcoholic. Is this what we want from our other half?

    It would seem that adults already have some kind of wisdom and can be relatively flexible, adapting to each other. But this is in theory. In practice, we most often simply demand from our beloved that he give up his habits, we find fault, we are sarcastic, we grumble. He snaps, we get excited, we begin to remember the past, we receive a whole flurry of indignation in response... Scandal, stress, tears. And the culprit is the towel thrown by the husband on the edge of the bathtub...

    However, that is not the reason. It’s just that the girl got married, poorly understanding why she needed this family at all. And all the current conflicts with her husband are an external reflection of her internal dissatisfaction and immaturity. And now marriage oppresses both.

    To prevent this from happening, before meeting a young man under the same roof, you need to determine a few things for yourself.

  1. What do we experience when we look at him sleeping? Do we want to kiss a man, breathe in his scent, press his cheek?
  2. Are we capable of making sacrifices for this? young man? Are you ready to give up your desires because of him, without demanding anything in return?
  3. Will we be able to forgive some offenses and offenses, even when the man does not ask for forgiveness?

If the girl answered yes to all these questions, then everything is fine. She has figured out the secret of happiness in a family and is ready to create one. Of course, in order for a marriage to be truly successful, the man must also strive for it. Not aspiring yet? There is no need to force things. Otherwise, he will try, already being married, to finish off what he didn’t finish up before the wedding. Let's be diplomatic and patient. After all, we are ready to sacrifice our desires for him!

The main enemy of a prosperous family life is selfishness. It is he who forces spouses to always make demands and claims on each other, set conditions, limit the actions of their spouse, and so on. Our selfishness does not allow us to selflessly, without expecting anything in return, love another person. And, therefore, does not allow us to be free and happy.

If we cannot cope with our own selfishness, why start a family? First you need to learn to control yourself and your feelings, develop patience and the ability to selflessly forgive. And then find a worthy young man and boldly walk with him in the wedding procession, towards happiness.

Discussion 0

Similar materials

Lack of happiness in a relationship means that either you do not have knowledge, or you do not apply it, or you apply it incorrectly.

Let's consider the difficult topic of the responsibilities of husbands and wives in the family from the point of view of ancient wisdom - the Vedas.

Some may say that Vedic family duties are not suitable for our times (it is difficult to observe them), but at the same time it should be noted that failure to observe these duties leads to problems in the family and causes divorce. For example, in the CIS countries the number of divorces exceeds 50%. Moreover, a divorce does not at all guarantee that the next marriage will be more “successful,” especially if a person does not begin to study the topic of the responsibilities of husband and wife, and does not try to build his family life on reasonable principles.

Therefore, let's try to understand what they are the main duties of a wife and husband according to the Vedas. These responsibilities did not arise from empty space: they rely on knowledge of male and female nature, understanding of the seven stages of relationships and types of marriage, and take into account male and female female psychology. This knowledge, if applied correctly, leads to happiness.

Lack of happiness in a relationship means that either you do not have knowledge, or you do not apply it, or you apply it incorrectly.

If we want to improve relationships in the family, create harmony and mutual understanding, it would be right study your responsibilities and try to follow them, and not poke your significant other’s nose into his responsibilities, because it will create even more problems and disagreements in family relationships.

You need to start with yourself. If a husband sees that his wife is beginning to fulfill her duties better, he automatically (out of a sense of duty and gratitude) begins to fulfill his own better. It is also true on the other hand: if a wife sees that her husband is better fulfilling his responsibilities in the family, she automatically (out of a sense of duty and gratitude) begins to fulfill hers better. The only problem is that usually no one wants to start with themselves, because it is much easier to blame another for wrong behavior, although this does not solve the problem, but only aggravates it. It is impossible to improve a relationship by blaming each other.

Responsibilities of a husband in the family

Let's start with men, because the man is considered the head of the family. Women can read the husband's responsibilities for reference only, but should focus on their responsibilities. Just like men should focus on studying and fulfilling their duties, while wives may not delve into the duties of a wife.

  • The husband must earn an honest and decent income, providing the family with everything that is really necessary;
  • He is obliged to provide each family member with protection and patronage;
  • A man must be a spiritual leader in the family and inspire all its members by his example;
  • Ideally, according to the Vedas, the husband should relieve his wife of the need to earn a living in order to give her the opportunity to maintain cleanliness and order in the house, prepare food and raise children;
  • Also, a man himself should take part in raising children;
  • The husband is obliged to satisfy the sensual needs of his wife, but he must do this in accordance with the sacred scriptures, avoiding what is unlawful.
  • A man must take care of older and younger relatives (his and his wife), providing them with all possible assistance;
  • The husband is obliged to observe etiquette when communicating with other women, and also to protect his wife from the excessive attention of other men;
  • A man is responsible for the relationships between his family members, even if the relationship ends in divorce.

Responsibilities of a wife in the family

The husband has no right to reproach his wife for not fulfilling her duties if he himself does not fulfill his own. Similarly, a wife does not have the right to accuse her husband of not fulfilling his duties if he does not fulfill his own.

  • The wife must do housework, cook food and maintain order and cleanliness in the house (if cleaning is difficult, ask her husband);
  • She is not obliged to earn a living, but can engage in activities that bring her satisfaction and some money (unfair earnings are excluded);
  • The wife is obliged to raise the children;
  • A woman should actively help her husband become a true spiritual leader for his family;
  • The wife is obliged to give birth, raise and properly raise at least one child. The Vedas say that parents are obliged to give the world worthy offspring.
  • A woman, like a man, must take care of her relatives, both her own and her husband’s, and help them to the best of her ability.
  • The wife is obliged to observe etiquette when communicating with other men, and also to protect her husband from the excessive attention of other women.

Family responsibilities of spouses according to the Vedas

Be that as it may, the main responsibility for fulfilling the responsibilities of the spouses within the family lies with the husband.

  • When entering into marriage, both spouses bear equal responsibility both to their own parents and to each other’s parents;
  • Spouses must take good care of their children, support them and raise them. This applies to one’s own children and to children born in previous marriages, as well as to those who were adopted or taken into care;
  • Spouses are required to respect each other's religious beliefs.
  • Parents should give their children a free choice of their spiritual position, not pressure or persuade them to accept this or that spiritual tradition and follow this or that spiritual practice.
  • Spouses are obliged to take care of their parents, providing them with moral and material support whenever possible, participate in running a joint household, and also allow them to participate in raising their grandchildren;
  • Spouses must take care of their disabled relatives, providing them with moral and material support whenever possible;
  • Spouses must support good relationship with work colleagues and neighbors.

So, in short, we looked at what men and women should do in family relationships, based on the Vedas. The fulfillment of their family responsibilities by husband and wife creates peace and harmony in the family, allows them to maintain good relationships and raise worthy offspring.

In addition to the topic, there are several more interesting and important points from Vedic lectures, in particular from the lectures of A. Khakimov.

A man, ideally, should have three qualities

  1. To know the highest purpose and meaning of life: self-awareness, knowledge of one's true spiritual nature, knowledge of God and the development of love for Him. Otherwise, a man will not be able to be a spiritual leader in the family and ensure reasonableness and proper development relationships. Not knowing the higher purpose and meaning of life, he slides into animal satisfaction of his own feelings, which contributes to the spiritual degradation of the entire family. Therefore, it is in the interests of a woman to find a worthy man who knows why a person was given life and can lead all family members to achieve this highest goal.
  2. He must have fearlessness and determination. Realizing the goal of the human form of life, a man becomes fearless in achieving that goal, sacrificing temporary material pleasures and sufferings.
  3. Generosity. But this does not mean giving everyone everything and being left with nothing, because a man has responsibilities in the family, which are no less important than possessing this quality, so reasonableness is needed here.

Five roles of women in family relationships

  1. The role of the wife. It is the wife's responsibility to remind her husband of the purpose of life and his responsibilities if he forgets. Not to be confused with reproaches and accusations.
  2. The role of a lover. The wife should become the best lover for her husband, so that he does not even think about other women. A wife should look more beautiful at home than when going to the store or to work. The beauty of a wife is important to her husband when she is near him, and not when she is elsewhere.
  3. The role of the daughter. When the husband is not in the mood, when he is angry or dissatisfied with something, the wife should accept the role of a daughter, which means not annoying her husband, being calm, humble and obedient.
  4. The role of the sister– is needed in cases where the husband is not able to pay much attention to his wife. Then the wife is content with any attention from her husband, without claiming more. She seems to temporarily become his understanding sister.
  5. The role of the mother- it is appropriate to show that if the husband is sick, helpless or depressed by problems, then the wife should behave like a caring mother.

Sensitivity of a woman

It is said that a woman is nine times more sensitive than a man - her mind, feelings, and intuition are more sensitive. She feels everything much deeper than a man, she rejoices more and worries more. So, on the one hand, this is good, but on the other, not so good. That is why a woman should always be under the protection of a man, be it a father (before marriage), a husband or a son (if the husband is not around).

Purpose of marriage and family relationships

In Vedic times, marriage was considered a sacred union protected by God. There were practically no divorces, as there were no serious problems in the relationship. Each family member knew his duty and fulfilled his duties.

Nowadays, the attitude towards marriage is becoming more and more frivolous, the number of civil marriages, which indicates a decrease in responsibility for relationships and a reluctance to fulfill one’s responsibilities in the family. This indicates the spiritual degradation of humanity. “A good deed cannot be called a marriage” - this phrase is no longer a joke.

In America, it has reached the point where there are virtual families, virtual online relationships, entire Internet families consisting of people who almost never leave their homes. They replaced real life an illusion. You can imagine what will happen next if you don’t come to your senses.

What is the purpose of marriage? Marriage is needed in order to create not random offspring, but worthy ones. The Vedas say that if a child is born “by chance”, without the true bright feelings of the parents at the moment of conception, without the proper state of mind, not planned, he cannot become a worthy continuation of the family. At the moment of conception, the soul enters the mother's womb through the male seed. And what kind of soul is attracted? The one that matches the vibrations of the parents. If these vibrations are low, if there is only an animal instinct of copulation in order to get pleasure, then the qualities of the child will be the same - to live with the goal of getting pleasure, nothing more. This is how we get a society of egoists who think only about themselves, reject reasonable principles of harmonious life, destroy morality, degrade the environment and cause violence and war.

Proper conception of a child

In the Vedas there is a whole section of knowledge called “Kama Shastras”, it is devoted to all issues of properly building relationships, creating a suitable environment for conceiving a child who will have good character qualities, and other related things.

This world needs good people. Good people cannot be created through hypnosis, programming, cloning or other artificial means. good people are born in a legal marriage as a result of the correct state of mind at the time of conception, as well as correct upbringing.

Parents must plan for the child. This means that before conception you need to imagine its image: what it should be. You need to meditate on the best qualities that you want to develop in him. The wife should find out from her husband what kind of child he wants, what qualities he should have, and, having learned this, she should place this bright image in her heart.

This is the right approach to conception, and this topic is worthy of careful study - do not limit yourself to this short summary. It’s better to spend a month or a year studying and preparing for proper conception than to then suffer for at least 18 years from bad relationship with a child.

With milk and songs, the mother should instill in the child the highest taste and good qualities. Those women who knew how to do it correctly were called “vesta”. And those who didn’t know were called “bride.” Nowadays there are many brides, and from this the world receives unwanted offspring - people who do not have good qualities.

Therefore, the dissemination and study of ancient knowledge about the construction right relationship in accordance with the responsibilities of husbands and wives in the family - this is a very important step towards a bright future, the importance of which is difficult to overestimate.

Authentic secrets of family happiness excite all modern couples. Divorce statistics are depressing and saddening. And the sight of elderly couples carefully adjusting each other’s clothes in the park makes your heart ache.

Stories that tell about lifelong, non-trivial love are an ideal worthy of emulation. But how to get closer to this ideal if they become more and more frequent, and mutual understanding and feelings melt before our eyes? We’ll figure out how to bring love and peace back to the family in this article.

Have you decided to get a divorce? Perhaps you shouldn't rush. After all, when you learn the secrets of family happiness and apply the recommendations below in practice, the decision to destroy your marriage may seem completely absurd to you.

Secrets of family happiness for wives

The secrets to a happy family life are not really a secret. Your grandmother can tell you these postulates if she lived with her husband a rich and full life. Any psychologist on family issues will tell you the same information. But it is your ability to use it, and not just hear it, that determines whether you will improve your family relationships or whether they will continue to slowly fade away.

These are the standard questions of any couple facing problems in a relationship: “Why has there been a cooling between us?”, “How to stop quarreling?”, “I am everything for him, and he...”.

3 main destructive factors in relationships

  1. Lack of mutual respect.

    If we begin to perceive our husband as an addition to family life, forgetting about his unique personality, then this neglect splits the boat of family happiness. “Not such a secret!” - you say, but this is the essence of any secret of family happiness - in simplicity and banality, which we prefer not to notice. Remember why you married him: isn't he the best? Isn’t that the one you wanted to run to after school/work? It's time to activate these memories. Before you accuse him of another offense, remember that for you he is the best. And decide how to proceed.

  2. Comparison with others.

    A wife who begins to compare her man with other members of his sex is laying the foundation for male infidelity with your own hands. Her interest in her husband decreases, he feels cold and is not always emotionally able to deal with the deterioration of the relationship, preferring to get rid of the negative factor. Your boss, friend, work colleague can be as good as you like, but you didn’t choose them as your life partner. Admiring and comparing are two different things. Never, in any situation, try to tell your husband, even with good intentions, that someone is better than him. This is a leap to divorce.

  3. Different social interests.

    Opposites attract. But then, for some reason, these opposites forget that passion will fade over time, and they will have to live and act as different as they are now. Therefore, you have only 2 options: accept your husband, no matter how opposite his views on the world may be, or let go, but do it once and for all. If you are driven by love, and not by love, then there is no question of the second option, and you can return love and peace to your family, you just need to work a little on your ability to perceive people as they are.

We figured out the reasons for the destruction of relationships. It is important for every couple to work on them, no matter how often they quarrel. Forewarned is forearmed. And if we worked through the mistakes, that means we got rid of them. Now the time has come to reveal those most valuable secrets of family life.

  1. Find something to thank your husband for.

    When was the last time you said “thank you” to him for doing a household chore? “He should be doing this anyway!” – you say? You shouldn't, just like you shouldn't stand at the stove for hours. But if such a distribution of responsibilities has occurred in your family, this is not a reason to deprive each other of the opportunity to receive gratitude. To do this, you can even keep a gratitude diary, where you will write down any reason for which you thanked your spouse. It doesn’t matter whether he opened the door for you at the entrance, or warmed up the car for you in the cold, the word “thank you” should appear in your arsenal. The most common secret of family happiness is to be affectionate with your spouse.

  2. Run the household together with your husband.

    The same applies to raising children. You can’t put everything on your shoulders, pushing your husband into the background. Of course, you know better how to make everything better, but living together is not called that for nothing; only together can you build strong relationships. Don't trust him to wash the floor because there will be stains? Or won't he cook the soup properly? Then assign him to work with the child while you clean up. Or let him cut vegetables for a salad. Only you know how to turn ordinary household chores into family leisure! Even washing windows, if desired, can be turned from a chore into a small one. family holiday. And if your husband himself is against participating in, say, cooking, say that you will cook it yourself, but want to do it in his company. It is possible that in a couple of minutes the knife and cutting board will be under his control!

  3. Spend time together.

    Finish all your daily activities on Friday, and devote Saturday to each other. And give yourself the attitude that nothing will change this rule. Touch your husband more often, exchange compliments, talk to each other for no reason nice little things. Ask him how things are going at work. And even if you don’t know anything about mechanical engineering or IT technologies and don’t know who Semyon Aleksandrovich or Lyubov Ivanovna is, try to listen to the whole story. Aerobatics - with clarifying questions. It is also important for a man to speak out, although he does it infrequently. And to see interest in a woman’s eyes is a naturally inherent masculine quality that stimulates new achievements.

  4. Give each of you personal space.

    Any person needs to be alone with himself, this time needs to be specially allocated, and not to bother your husband over trifles at such moments. We spent time together yesterday and everything went perfectly - wonderful! And today he came home from work gloomy and silently sat on the sofa? Don’t bother him with questions about what happened, don’t call him to cook dinner, let him be in his thoughts. The secret of family happiness is to understand the moment and act in accordance with it.

To improve relationships in the family, you don’t need to work hard on yourself and radically transform your husband; start with small steps towards family happiness.

Make breakfast not just a meal, but a little surprise. Invite your husband on a date (yes, don’t wait for him to do it, but take the initiative first). Hug and thank him for those little things that he “should” do anyway: washed the dishes - “thank you, darling”, fixed the table - “you are the best” and everything in the same spirit! Sometimes it is difficult to adapt from a relationship that has become ordinary and gray to such changes, but by gradually increasing your personal space (yours and your husband’s) and getting closer spiritually, you will raise your relationship to a radically new level.

No one will forge your family happiness for you

All relationship problems in modern married couples arise from various reasons. Some suffer from lack of money, some have destructive traits in their character, such as excessive hysteria, and for others, marriage issues become difficult due to pathological infidelity. But whatever the problems of married couples, if at least one of the spouses truly wants to return love to the family, he will do it.

How to return love to your family? ? It is enough to often put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to understand the reasons for his behavior. Also, you should not accumulate grievances; it is better to clarify the situation as soon as it has matured. An important place for any couple is occupied by their romantic leisure, which, by the way, cannot be organized on its own; it must be done with effort. Then main problem modern relationship, called divorce, will never affect your family. Be happy, but remember, we build happiness only with our own hands!