What are the benefits of a family where only one kid grow? How many children should ideally be in the family? Share with us your opinion! In the family is better one child or two

Valeria Protasova

Reading time: 8 minutes

A.

According to statistics, the birth rate has not simply not risen in recent years, but even significantly decreased. On the scale of a huge country, this is not as noticeable, but two (and the more three and more) kids appear in families more and less. What number of children is considered optimal in our time? What do psychologists say about this?

Family without children - what is the reason for the decision of modern couples not to have children?

Why are married couples refuse parenthood? Voluntary mindlessness may be due to many reasons. The main ones are:

• Unwillingness of one of the spouses War down children.
• Lack of sufficient funds To ensure the normal life of the child.
• The desire to live for yourself.
• Housing problem.
• Career - Lack of time to raise children. Read:
• Lack of maternal instinct.
• Psychological trauma As a child, transferred at the young age of suffering, which later develop in fear of maternity (by paternity).
• Unstable and unfavorable In the country for the birth of children.

Family with one child - pros and cons of such a family model

Oddly enough, not a career at all and not even a deficit of finances today the reason for the family is stopped on one baby. The key cause of "low-rise" is the desire to give a child more time and give him, beloved, all the best. And, in addition, to save him from the jealousy of the sisters brothers - that is, to give all his love only to him.

What are the advantages of the family in which only one kid grow?

• The horizons of the only child in the family is wider than the peers from large families.
• Higher level of development of intelligence.
• All gusts of parents (upbringing, attention, development, education) are sent to one kid.
• The child gets in the optimal size everything that is required for its growth, development and, of course, a good mood.

Minuses are significantly more:

• The child is harder to join the children's team. For example, at home he is used to, that no one offends him, will not push, will not deceive. And in the team, children in the game are quite aggressive.
• A growing child is considerable pressure from parents who dream that he will justify their hopes and nested forces. What often becomes the cause of serious psychological problems in a child.
• The child has more chances to grow by Egoist - he gets used to the fact that the world should turn around only around him.
• A child has no orientation of leadership in a large family and achieving goals.
• Due to increased attention, the child is often growing spoiled.
• The manifestation of hyperteks, characteristic of the parents of one kid, creates and strengthens the children's fears. The child can grow dependent, not capable of decisive actions, not independent.

Family with two children - the benefits of a family with two children; Should I give birth to a second child?

Not everyone can decide on the second kid. This is usually disturbed by memories of childbirth and pregnancy, difficulty with the upbringing of the first child, only "who settled" the issue with work, fear - "Will we dying the second?" etc. Thought - "not to continue if ..." - arises from those parents that they have already rated the experience of the birth of the first child and realized that they want to continue.


But not only the desire to continue, but also age difference In children, from which a lot depends.

Difference in 1-2 years - Features

• In most cases, children become friends.
• They are interested to play together, toys can be bought at once for two, and things from the older immediately go to the younger.
• Jealousy is practically absent, because the eldest simply did not have time to feel his exclusivity.
• Mom, the forces of which have not yet been filled after the first birth, strongly tired.
• Children very violently find out their relationship. Especially since the younger begins to "twist" the senior space.

Difference in 4-6 years - features

• Mom managed to relax a little from pregnancy, diapers and night feedings.
• Parents already have a solid experience of communicating with the child.
• Younger can learn from the older child to all skills, thanks to which the development of the younger is faster.
• The elder no longer requires such serious attention and help parents. In addition, he himself helps mom, entertaining the younger.
• Relationships among the younger children go according to the scheme - "Chef / Subordinate". Often they are frankly hostile.
• Things and toys for a child have to buy again (usually by this time everyone has already distributed or thrown away that the place does not occupy).
• The jealousy of the older is frequent and painful phenomenon. He has already managed to get used to his "uniqueness."

The difference in 8-12 years - features

• Before the teenage crisis, the older time is still there.
• Reasons for jealousy from the elder less - he already lives most of the family (friends, school).
• Senior is able to become essential support and helping mom - he is capable of not only to entertain, but also to stay with the child when parents need, for example, urgently remove in cases.
• Of the minuses: with a strong infringement of the elder in his attention, you can lose with him the link of mutual understanding and intimacy that was before the birth of the younger.

Family three children and more - the optimal number of children in the family or stereotype "Molds poverty"?

The opponents of a big family are no more than her supporters. Although those and others understand that three and more babies in the family are hard work without vacation and weekends.

An undoubted advantage of a large family can be attributed:

• The lack of hyperopsychies of parents - that is, early development of independence.
• Lack of problems in communicating children with peers. Children are already at home receive the first experience of "infusion to society."
• Parents do not press the requirement to "justify hopes".
• The presence of benefits from the state.
• The lack of egoistic features in children, the habit of sharing.

Complexity of a large family

• It will take quite a lot of strength to solve children's conflicts and maintain order in relations and in the house.
• We need impressive means to dress / shoes children, feed, ensure proper medical care and education.
• Mom will be very tired - it becomes worries three times more.
• Mom's career will have to forget.
• The jealousy of children is a permanent satellite Mom. Children will fight for her attention.
• The absence of silence and tranquility even when you want to hide for 15 minutes and relax from worries.

According to psychologists, it is necessary to give birth to children without regard to stereotypes, other people's advice and the opinion of relatives. Only the selected path will only be correct and happy. But overcome all the difficulties of parenthood can be only when the choice was mature and conscious. It is clear that the desire to give birth to 8 kids in living conditions in a communal apartment and without decent earnings is not supported by sufficient grounds. The minimum program, according to experts, it is two kids. As for more children - you need repeat on your strength, time and opportunity.

If you grew up in the family in which there were several children, you are hard to imagine what it is - to be the only child. However, the idea of \u200b\u200bhow parents managed to grow several children, can also appear. The cost of education is constantly growing, the couples begin to raise children later than it was taken earlier.

There is nothing surprising that only one child appears in many families. Is the stereotype that the only child will be spoiled, at least a little truthful? If it is interesting to you, you should learn whether such a decision has an advantage! So, here is a list of reasons why one child in the family is a great choice.

Child care cost

It's no secret that the cost of child care is very large. Modern parents have to have a lot to postpone on the formation of the baby, while paying for food, clothes and numerous everyday little things, not to mention the diapers. Perhaps this is why it is worth noting that the only child to educate is still easier and cheaper. The more children from you, the more expenses on food, transport, housing, education and care. It is worth considering this before you start planning your family. If several children will greatly limit your financial opportunities, it will be an extremely uncomfortable situation for both you and the kids themselves.

More possibilities

If you have more money, you can offer your child more cultural and educational events. Researchers studied families in which there is only one child, and found that it really matters. There are many opportunities that are often more accessible for one child. Over the years it becomes obvious how great the difference between children from large families and those where there is only one kid. In the end, children from large families rarely can get the same education - send several children to the university is very difficult. In addition to education, it affects travels, and on cultural holidays. One child will have more vivid impressions than the baby from a large family. Of course, there are families where funds are enough for everyone, but in most cases the difference is still noticeable, and one child more often gets more than a child from a family where children are somewhat.

A high self-evaluation

The parents of the only child often can better focus on it all their attention, the benefits of this are huge. The child who was the only one in the family is often higher self-esteem. Scientists analyzed data on hundreds of students and learned that children from families in which there was only one child, demonstrate a higher level of intelligence and achieve more. In addition, they often have a higher self-esteem compared to other children. When a child is one, the parents do not need to share their time on several kids, and the child always gets someone's attention. This type of relationship provides an incredible sense of security, allowing you to become more confident by the person. The only child receives the advantage of the feasible attention of parents and their emotional support. It improves self-esteem, allows you to become a more mature person with a developed personality. This is the most important criterion if you want your baby to be happy and confident in himself.

Independent imagination

Parents often seem to be the only child will be lonely, because he will not have brothers and sisters that can always make a company. In fact, loneliness is not at all so minus. A child can become more creative and active if he needs to entertain himself. The only children in the family are often distinguished by a rich imagination, they know how to focus perfectly, because from an early age they learned to entertain themselves.

They immediately learn what can be quite comfortable to play for the past hour and do not have boredom. So do not be afraid that your child will be lonely or boring - it's not at all, on the contrary, it is quite possible that he will only be more interesting. The main thing, provide a child with the opportunity to be alone with himself so that he can develop his imagination and learned to entertain himself.

Fast maturity

Due to the fact that the only child in the family spends a lot of time with adults, he grows quickly and learns good manners. If other kids are not distracted by a dinner table, he quickly develops a rich vocabulary and becomes smarter because he takes part in adult conversations.

Permanent contact with the world of adults makes the child more mature. In addition, there will be no rivalry between children, which will not prevent communication in the family. Of course, it still depends on the relationships in the family and the parents themselves, but statistics speak quite definitely on this.

Life balance

Pros of the presence of only one child in the family relate to the parents themselves. If you have only one kid, you can actively deal with your career and enjoy a lifestyle that appropriate to your desires. If you need to contain only one child, you can experiment anymore in your life and be happier. Happy parents are a happy child. You can find a balance between the upbringing of the baby and your career. If you think about all the time you have enough time, you can give time to children, solve the problem just - start a child.

This allows you to normally organize your life and do not only be engaged in education. Two parents and one child are a fairly comfortable situation, since you can always count on helping someone else and find time for your own interests, as well as to work on relationships. This is the most harmonious option for most modern people who want to develop a versatile.

One child is more environmentally friendly

Another amazing bonus in the upbringing of one child is that it is good for the environment. You create much less garbage, spend less water and burn less fuel. This means that your environmental impact is seriously reduced. According to the UN, at the moment the world's population is more than seven billion people, this number is constantly growing.

It is believed that by 2030 on the planet there will be eight and a half billion people. If you educate only one child, you slow down the growth of the world's population and help keep valuable resources. You may well be parents, without destroying the native planet, and if the ecology is concerned about, consider such a criterion.

If you firmly decided to have only one child, you may need some tips. When the kid slightly grow up, write it down in the section, sports or musical, so that he should always have to talk with. In addition, provide the child with a time alone with himself to develop his imagination. Let him follow my own expensive, and not the one that you impose.

Include it in common conversations for lunch or dinner. Forget about the outdated stereotype that the only child feels loneliness and grows too spoiled, it is completely wrong. Instead, understand that such a baby can grow a solid person, however, like children from a large family.

And whether there are those who believe that one child in the family is quite normal. I would like to hear the arguments "for", well, it is possible "against", but serious.

Violet

We have one and the husband no longer wants. My daughter is 11 years old, he really wants brother or sister. Husband, and I think that it is better to provide a good one and everything to give him than two. Two we will not pull. And I want my daughter to show the world, different countries, wear well. I know that many will pounce on me with reproach, that material is not important. But I want it to spiritually develop it, so that it seems to see the museums of the world, but in reality. I would have to make it more if possible, that several children give as much as one now, then two children are fine.

Masha Arrest

Of course, material is also important. Very important. But not always the most important thing. In my opinion, it is much more important that the child (and then an adult) had more native people who are always ready to help. My father and my sister died a few years ago, and now my mother is very hard. I can not imagine how I could cope with a small daughter and sick mom if I had one and my mother had no sisters. Of course, this is a special case, but such cases in life can be as you like. Yes, and in childhood, all the most interesting memories are connected with sister. With my sister, it is much more interesting for museums to go and ride at attractions. My parents are also good, but parents are not in all children's hobbies can participate. In my opinion, it is better to live in a hostel instead of a hotel, and travel by bus, not a plane, but with a sister or brother. All these amenities are important to parents, not children.

Ala-ala

Subject to good relations between the sisters. And how many reverse examples!

Masha Arrest

It depends on parents. Stage can not give birth at all due to the fact that someone has a son, or parents killed. Among my acquaintances, the sisters brothers have a bad relationship only in one family. And then they are young more.

Zhanna

I am a draw sister ...
I myself was in the family alone ... now I am 27 years old and still very regretting it. I always asked my mother or brother from Mom, and they believed that "it's better to grow alone than ..." (hereinafter referred to as the text). I don't have a native person, except for my parents ... But parents are not something. This is another generation. I am still in great insult on your parents for having tried me in this life. I will never be able to experience the feelings that the sister is experiencing. Eh, read this topic and upset ... stupid, probably ... But I have three children. And I envy them ...

Pxletter.

What a horror! Parents were sentenced, offended ... you like a little girl. And why did the parents just need to provide a sister or brother? That is where terry egoism.

Zhanna

Yes, they shouldn't have anything .. and believe me, I have enough of the mind of the years since the 14th not to discuss this topic with them ... I just really understand the daughter of the author of the topic ... And what does selfishness do?

Devil

Well, I have a sister ... older than 12 years, so, so, I have no sense from this. No one is observed.

Zhanna

And what, sorry, "sense" are you waiting for?

Karina

And I have a sister younger than me for 11 years. And I really don't really have any sense. But I hope that since 25-36 we will have common interests. Children family.

I have a sister 15 years older :-)))
We grew in turn, it's like grew by one. I did not want a younger brother or sister. I was well with my mother and dad. Sister I see 1-2 times a year. We are in good relationship, but no more.

Violet

In the family one was and husband too. And the thought was not to reproach the parents, so that I was given birth to someone. This is their business and children are not entitled to reproach them, they had their considerations or medical problems. Already in your family you can argue with my husband, together to decide, give birth to one or five.

Sonya

i think it is quite normal, but why do you need to have many children?

Ala-ala

I think so. And before the eyes of the mass of examples of the fact that it is absolutely normal. None of the "examples" egoist grew. All have good relationships with parents. Everyone has successfully formed family life and career.

Lisa F.

I think it's not enough. In my opinion, one child grows (in most cases) a egocentric that does not know how to build relationships with peers. He does not know them, his mentality is focused on parents. Good parents are perfect, it is very important, but this is not enough! The child should have its own world created mainly not by parents, but by children. The child becomes a good man without going through the museums of the world, but learning to create normal friendly relations with brothers and sisters, or friends. Parents will refuse, submit - do you think it is good to raise a child? He will always demand that he was subordinate and inferior! And there is such a thought. If the children in the family are two-three, then they will be tied to each other, freeing (at least a little, but freeing) you, parents. They will not require you so much attention as one; They will communicate even among themselves. You will be easier! :) I'm in the family senior, and my mother always knew (with my more or less conscious age), which can rely on me, but I personally liked it. My maximum of my support was a session with a weekly baby (the youngest brother - he is the third child), within 2 weeks, while Mom lay in the hospital (her was poorly cleaned in the hospital). I was 19, I was already married, and after this replacement, my husband and I understood that we were not afraid of babies and we want this!

Ala-ala

And I just don't like it terribly that in families where more than one child, the older / ju is perceived as a nurse. You liked it, and many this terribly annoys. And why give birth to a child to shifting his parenting on other children, please tell me?
Absolutely disagree and about the inability to build relationships with peers. I, for example, it was always a bunch of friends, at work, the relationship was also well enough.

And it still seems to me that the only child grows very self-sufficient.

Svetlana Belyaeva

Lyuba, I have already left such a point of view in the topic "Margarita" in. Only now the criteria for normalness and abnormality are incomprehensible to me. Yes, at the moment, I want to have one child. Arguments:
1) I am alone at home, my husband from morning to night at work, I also want to work a little. Two, and even more so, more children take more time and strength, and I don't want them to see the tired mother. With this mode of life, as now, I can engage in a child as much as he needs. But two, remembering their eternally scolded mother, I'm afraid, I'm not pulling. And I have not ready to fully heat your diploma and fully trap your diploma.
2). Often in families where a few children arise jealousy. My son, still Sidychi in the Buse, knew that for Mom he was the best, and nothing in the world would make him doubt it.
3) He will never suffer from a complex of inferiority about the fact that he has no toys that all friends have (and children aged 10-12 years are very inclined to measure the value of the personality in this way). In reasonable limits, of course. Evaluating now our financial situation, I understand that the super-drive designer "Lego" I can buy. But two "lego" and a house for Barbie, and even a horse and a car for Barbie may already be a problem. An example, of course, stupid, but reality reflects.
Perhaps over time, my relationship will change.
NB for opponents, which, apparently, appear: All of the above - not distracted reflections, but a position based on a specific image of thoughts and, which is important, the lifestyle of a particular person.

I have two and possible, but also one child - and what should be abnormal? Each family decides for himself, everyone has their own arguments. What, better than a 20-year-old girl to give birth in a row two? Who will be better from this? And in general, who determines it - what is fine, but what is abnormal? A child or children should be loved and desirable - this is the main thing. Don't want more than one, then one is enough, and the egoists, losers and generally "radishes" are not from the fact that in the family of children, and for other reasons :))

Oxana S.

I will not join the controversy, because with my social position in this case it is just stupid. I think, few people in these forums do not know my family. :)) Therefore, so as not to waste time in vain, I just invite you to all who are interested in this topic, to visit our club 8 and find out what the psychology has many different differences Families from the psychology of families with one or two child.

Two - this is already a lot :-)))

Oxana S.

And six? :))

Natalie

It's quite normal. But parents should realize that he has the right to an independent life. Even if he is still a child. After all, everyone, probably, are known when parents command their 40-year-old chances and his children. If there are several children in the family, such problems arise less often (in my case - with a younger child, i.e. with me).

Almost all familiar to me families, where more than one child, parents seem to share children. One more like one, another other. (In my surrounding, there are no more than two children in the seeds) or I am mistaken, and you can love all the children equally? And the children's jealousy is terrible item !!! I came across this ...

And I once again say that in any case it all depends on the parents. There are no obvious advantages and minuses, IMHO. It is possible to grow one beautiful person (and you can not), and it can be from ten (and it is also possible. Depends on parents. If the God of Wisdom did not give, then they do not master one. And gave ... So what is the difference how much :) the main thing is that the money has enough :)))

Anita

I am "for" one although in addition to "he was everything", it is probably own egoism

Sweet 16.

And why own egoism?

Tatiana Koorkoff

And then there is no common middle - each family. To whom one is a lot, and someone is very different we are all. And children are different, because someone is good one, and to whom in the team.

Svetlana Kulakova

And it seems to me that one child is bad. At least two. No longer necessary! But if one is there, it is better than one more. One bad ... When there is a brother or sister it is really wonderful!

Immediately bad
And if it does not work in any way, medical problems ... to hang?

One head is good. And two - even better! Such words can be applied to the number of children in the family. In addition to the quantity, the quality of the education of children in the family is also rising. How it happens, and why two children are better than one - you can read further.

Faster developing

A permanent example from the elder brother or sister, communication and interaction contribute to the accelerated development of the child. Unfortunately, you are not an Indian goddess with a huge number of hands that can handle everything with everything, to keep track of everything, and also without a break to deal with development and upbringing. Children playing among themselves will not only use the leisure and do not interfere with parents to engage in their affairs, but will polish important skills of communication and interaction. Also at home they will get acquainted with collective activities, conflict management mechanisms, such as cooperation, concessions, compromise.

Useful qualities

Together with accelerated development, children also receive important qualities. For example, they learn to share, they are not getting used to that everything goes only to him, one only. The older child wakes up early responsibility, because he is also a "educator" of the child. The senior will already have the skills of the care and guardianship of young children, this is invaluable experience for the future "adult" life.

Thoughts of teachers

The great Russian teacher Anton Semenovich Makarenko radically declared that there should be no less than two children in the family. In his books, he emphasizes, exclaims and insists in this idea. Makarenko advises to "get" a child with any ways to give birth or adopt. Also, he leads us a sad example that if something happens suddenly something with a single child in the family, then there will be no borders of parents. The second child will inspire live and move on. Behind Makarenko, many years of experience and, perhaps, he is right. But in any case, you decide to you and your spouse.

In conclusion, among other things, think - you are two: you and the spouse, and the child is one. The defective replacement of the demographic fund is obtained. Make love, give birth to kids yourself and everyone for joy!

I have two, they are still small, ceilings, yes, it is not easy, but in them the continuation of life. I am in favor! I call for many women not only women, but also men. I believe that modern men for the most part are irresponsible and it is men who live only by their interests.

At one of the Government meetings, Rustem Zakievich reported management companies for the installation of video surveillance in the entrances of the hostels. This mol negatively affects demography. The head of the republic for improving fertility. Paul, from the road to Ufa. I always listen to you.

Good morning, now it's hard to have many children. Here are our parents six, we have fun. Mom Our clever thing raised everyone. Andrei Ishimbay.

Good all the day ... I have three ... but it's still .. my daughter gave birth to 17 years old ... and I did not understand what it was .. I quickly got married quickly divided ... And when she finished 11 Class I understood what else I needed. . and gave birth to 32 right now in 39 and I will still ... It's a pity that so much time I did not understand what happiness is a lot of children ... otherwise I would have them more ... and it doesn't matter from one husband or differently to educate In any case, the woman itself. So give birth to women .. girls .. because not 300 years long

Good morning everybody. Many children are fun)))

The family should have at least 2 children. As they say one child is not a child 2 child in the child. And then support each other and go to visit more pleasant.

It is better to have one child. He can give more opportunities and is less limited.

Good morning! It's good to have many children if you can provide them with a worthy future and due attention

Good morning, I agree with Elena about what you need to give birth. Children's children. We have a spouse ... 11 children! And I do not regret that we have. I look at everyone and I think: "Thank you, Lord, for our children. Keep and protect them!" From the fact that we do not live more worse than others. I am friends with Lena and there are our photos there, you can see and understand how we live. Good luck to you all! Do not be afraid to give birth.

Good morning! I want the favorite Lenochka pregnant! We really want a beauty daughter! Beauty daughter and heroice Son to us for forty and we have three

Good morning! When older children. It was 8 and 10 years old decided for the girl. But now children are 10 and 12, and the youngest, again the boy, in two weeks a year! Here I'm trying my husband on the girl still promotion

Why not option: "Without children at all?" I am for this option. Full Childfries

Good morning 😊! I grew myself in a family with five children. Of course, the parents were not easy, but now, when we grew up, I understand how great it! It happens that it becomes hard in the soul, I want to spoke and sister is busy, then I go to another or third. By the way, I now have four and I try to have a childhood from them to be filled with joy. Zulfia

What are you so sad? Yes, my son was born. As you called.-Louis. - And why Louis.-because the Fourteenth.-Vadim Is.Okt.