We are talking about this with psychologist ANETTA ORLOVA.
Anetta, what kind of women decide to have an affair with a married man?
Today, many women cannot arrange their personal lives, so they easily agree to a relationship with a married man. Over time, this relationship can move from the stage of entertainment to the stage of serious affection. People find themselves in a situation of complex dependence on each other. If a man is rich and has a lot of free resources, he can make sure that the first wife is provided with everything, and the second wife is happy.
This situation is normal from the economic side, but traumatic from the moral side. Now we have more and more men who live in two families. They present their facade to society, but this “building” has both a “secret room” hidden from view and a back door.
Often mistresses give birth to children. So they hope to tie the man to themselves even more, to take him away from his first family?
Everything happens in different ways, because children are the natural fruit of love. It happens that a woman is pressed by age if she is over 35 years old. She meets a man she likes and thinks, “Why not?” - because he wants to fulfill his mission and give birth to a child. Men react differently to illegitimate children. Many take a principled position: “If I have a child, I will support him and take care of him.” A woman who gave birth to a child is no longer perceived as a friend.
Relations with her move to a more serious level.
If a mistress understands that a man will never leave his first family, she behaves wisely and cunningly - she does not invade the territory of a façade marriage. So there are more bonuses for her. I know stories where a wife found out about the existence of a mistress with a child only at her husband’s funeral.
What pushes a man to live in two families?
In my book “The Fears of Real Men,” I write about what men are afraid of. One of the most important experiences is the fear of being on the bench in great sex. This is traumatic for a man. With his wife, with whom he lived for 20 years, the passion had already subsided. They have gone through all the phases, raised children and are living in the “empty nest” stage. And so the man thinks: “But I’m still young!” - and begins to seek confirmation of his sexuality - with another, younger woman. Sometimes such activity has a detrimental effect on health, because it begins to live at maximum speed. But often new family makes a man happier if in his first marriage his wife was long lost emotional connection or bad relationship with children.
A new woman gives both emotional and sexual warmth, and this greatly brightens life.
What other motives push married men to look for a new woman?
If a man can be classified as a Proud Man, then for him a woman is an attribute of his success and status in society. If his wife begins to age, lose ground, and his friends and partners have young wives or mistresses, the Proud Man will also get a girlfriend - it is important for him to demonstrate that he can afford it. If a man is Henpecked, then there is such a story: he lived 20 years in his marriage, and suddenly a woman came into his field of vision who treated him with more respect and interest than his wife. He understands that he has his own self, his own opinion. Everything that has been suppressed for many years gives an unprecedented emotional explosion, and he leaves the family to spread his wings and feel himself in a new status.
If a man is a Warrior type, an atmosphere of boredom and stagnation in marriage is unacceptable to him. If the wife has stopped developing and turned into a gray chicken, then the Warrior will go in search of a new queen who needs to be conquered.
If he meets new woman, then he will not leave his first family, because he will not want to give up what he conquered before and considers his own. And, most likely, he will live in two houses.
Is it possible to somehow resolve this situation so that everyone feels good?
It can't be good for everyone. It’s not for nothing that these situations are called triangles of suffering. The one who has two partners feels most comfortable.
Although he also lives with a feeling of guilt. Still, the relationship between the two partners is more harmonious.
When they lack something, surrogate substitutions arise. The paradox is that such a marriage often relies on a third person and is even prolonged due to this.
How does the struggle for a man go in the triangle of suffering?
One of the popular scenarios is that a mistress makes sure that her wife finds out about her. At this moment, the wife experiences terrible shock, aggression, and a conflict arises in the family when the man is kicked out of the house.
He has no choice but to go live with his mistress.
That's what she's waiting for. It happens that a man immediately stipulates the rules of the game and forbids his mistress to invade his family life. If he has a wife and children good relationship, taking him away from the family is much more difficult. In general, one of the most good ways to preserve the marital relationship is jointly acquired property. This is more reliable than all psychological attachments.
If the spouses have a joint house, which he has been building for many years, then the thought of divorce and division of property is unbearable for him. And he will take care of the facade, not wanting to lose what he has been building for years.
What advice can you give to wives who want to save a façade marriage?
Do not kick your husband out of the house in a fit of passion. If your mistress told you about her existence, do not fall for the provocation. This means that the husband does not leave on his own and they want to push him. If you feel that your husband's attention is leaving, there is no need to pursue him. Take care of yourself, stay in shape, find a new hobby to be interesting to your husband. If a man decides to leave the family, invite him to take your child with him.
This will cause sharp rejection on the part of your mistress and will sober up your husband a little.
Almost all marriages go through a “turbulence zone.” Cheating is one of the most common causes of family breakdown. The most popular question on the Internet is: “How to seduce a man?” There is an interesting statistic: out of four men who left their family, three regret it, and two make attempts to return. So don’t rush to let your husband go and run to get a divorce. Better think how to breathe new life into your façade marriage.
REFERENCE
Anetta Orlova is a famous psychologist who conducts trainings “Harmony of Long-Term Relationships” and “Secrets of Female Magnetism.” Heads the Academy of Personal Attractiveness. Author of the book “Fears of Real Men.”
Fatal« Kiss» Rodin
At the age of 17, aspiring sculptor Camille Claudel met master Auguste Rodin. She became his assistant, student, model and lover. The affair lasted for many years, and all this time Rodin lived in two houses: for his soul and creativity he had Camilla, and for family comfort - his wife Rose Bere, the mother of his son. He was not going to part with any of them.
When Camilla turned 30, she began to experience depression. She had neither family nor orders.
And then the aged Rodin returned to Rose. Camilla survived him by 25 years and ended her life in 1946 in poverty and obscurity in a psychiatric clinic.
Only after her death she gained fame as a genius.
We are live wires
He fell in love with her when he saw her, barefoot and unkempt, washing the floor on the veranda.
And he took it from a friend, pianist Heinrich Neuhaus. Boris Pasternak was happy: in the person of Zinaida Nikolaevna Neuhaus, he found not only a muse, but also a wonderful hostess who knew how to create comfort. The family idyll lasted 10 years, then the poet became bored, retreated into himself, and in 1946 a new muse, Olga Ivinskaya, appeared in his life. At that time, the fatal beauty was 34 years old, and the poet was 56 years old. Pasternak confronted the family with a fact: “I will live where I like.”
Their romance lasted for 14 long years - until Pasternak’s death.
Loneliness of Lady Di
Her family life began like a fairy tale, because on June 29, 1981, she married a real prince. Alas, at that time the heart of Prince Charles already belonged to the homewrecker - the woman of his life, Camilla Parker Bowles. And almost from the very first days, Princess Diana was the odd one out in this painful triangle for everyone. Lady Di tried to win her husband's love, gave birth to his beautiful sons William and Harry, and became prettier as a woman. But build happy family I couldn’t.
All she could do was present a facade of marriage to society.
Lady Di sought solace in social activities, social life and love interests. She was called the queen of hearts and one of the most elegant beauties in the world.
Charles and Diana divorced in 1996, and a year later she died in a car accident.
Iron Arnie's Infidelity
The Terminator Governor is used to achieving success in cinema, in politics, and in his personal life. In 1986, he married journalist Maria Shriver from the Kennedy clan. The couple had four children. For a long time Arnold Schwarzenegger had a reputation as a family man, which was important to California voters. And suddenly, like a bolt from the blue, the news spreads that Arnie has a 10-year-old illegitimate son - from Mildred Patricia Baena, who worked as a housekeeper for the governor.
Angry Maria Shriver decided to divorce her unfaithful husband and started divorce proceedings. True, there are rumors that the couple recently decided to save the family.
A woman is abandoned by her husband... Let's not lament why and for what, let's not look for the guilty and extreme, let's not fantasize...
The woman is afraid that the man will be happy without her. Opinion on how bigamists appear in the country
A woman is abandoned by her husband... Let's not lament why and for what, let's not look for the guilty and extreme, let's not fantasize about what would have happened if...
De facto, there are two typical scenarios:
1) Hasta la vista, baby. They divided the property, sorted out child custody, and everyone went their own way. Maybe they maintained friendly relations. Maybe even a little nostalgia. Or maybe they separated like ships at sea.
2) I'll be back. The prodigal husband returns to his old family, and everyone is still waiting for him. In a month, in a year or even in a few years. Where and to whom he went, why and what he was looking for does not matter. It is important that there is a desire and opportunity to give the relationship a second chance.
What if your husband, like Schrödinger’s cat, doesn’t seem to have left completely, but is no longer with you?
In one family the following situation arose: after the husband was caught in treason, a decision was made to separate, that is, he still left. Naturally, for the living space of a mistress who, as an unmarried, childless woman, welcomed this option in the hope that it would bring the moment closer when she, too, would receive her well-deserved piece of female happiness.
But then the following became clear: no one wants to get a divorce.
The wife, let's call her Ira, does not want to get a divorce, because she suddenly realized how much she loves her husband, so she is ready to forgive and forget everything, just to return to the old times. The former - in the sense without mistresses and betrayals.
But the husband didn’t understand anything, it’s just that divorce was never part of his plans, so when the passions subsided, he began to behave like an exemplary family man: helping with the housework every day, going shopping together on weekends, in general, a real idyll.
But with one small caveat: My husband doesn't spend the night at home.
I hope you see the contradiction: Ira has an official family-oriented husband without quarrels and scandals, but she does not feel happy because he lives in the house of another woman, who, by the way, also has almost everything: her beloved man has dinner and spends the night with her, but there is no complete happiness, I don't think she's feeling it.
The women simply swapped places, and as you know, changing the places of the terms does not change the sum.
The only one who is happy and content in this situation is the husband. He received an accommodating wife, who was afraid of the divorce and stopped arguing about his infidelities, and his mistress received the illusion of the development of the relationship and, most likely, became more supportive.
So we can’t count on our bigamist to break off relations with one of them. And both women are so afraid to look into a closed box that they prefer to live with a sense of faith in a living and dead cat at the same time.
Their premonition does not deceive them. What they see in the box will not please both of them: he does not love either of them.
Such a clear tendency towards unauthorized bigamy suggests that the object of their female competition is a selfish, calculating and selfish person, and he will, without regret, leave either of them or both of them as soon as something no longer suits him, and feelings will not matter here how.
Anything can happen in life. After all, this is how Mormon sister wives or Muslim wives in a harem.
But the whole problem is that Ira does not live, but suffers. From jealousy, from resentment, from frustration, from anger, from despair and from inaction. If she accepted a polygamous relationship or filed for divorce, there would be nothing to discuss.
This situation made me think that sometimes the decision to break up can be difficult and unbearable, as a decision to amputate a leg due to gangrene.
For a woman, a relationship that does not suit her, but she is afraid to break it off, is full of melancholy.
In this case, a phenomenon akin to alcoholic codependency is observed, when the perception of the surrounding environment is completely distorted, so it is likely that the woman does not even see what psychological hell she lives in.
L.N. Tolstoy argued that “every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” I would like to make a clarification here: all unhappy women are equally unhappy, and their attempts to improve and fix everything are always similar, regardless of the problem.
And, of course, everyone equally thinks from time to time that it’s time to give up everything, but women hesitate, doubt, believe that they have to wait and be patient.
The harsh truth is that gangrene cannot be cured, and husbands do not change.
Typical female fears that help a woman cling to her dreams and prevent her from acting decisively
“What about the children?”
Of course, I feel sorry for the children.
Unfortunately, women rarely think of children as individuals with the right to their own feelings.
In a state close to depression, unhappy wives often turn children into a tool of manipulation or a means of psychological compensation.
Worries about “how a child will live without a father” are full of slyness, because in unhappy families, as a rule, the child sees his father less often than he would like.
I believe that when thinking about children, a woman should control the following manifestations of her nature:
1) Maternal egoism.“I endure for the sake of the children, I cannot deprive the child of his father, etc.” - this is hypertrophied maternal responsibility on the verge of selfishness.
A woman cannot be responsible for whether a child has a father or not, because there are no circumstances that would prevent a man from being a father if he wants to be one, and there are no circumstances that would prevent a man from being a father if he doesn't want to.
Women flatter themselves very much when they think that it depends only on them whether the child will have a father as a role model.
Men are great at solving this issue themselves, and there is no need to take on the function of an intermediary in communication between father and child.
As one of my close friends says, there is no need to help a man communicate with children: he can screw up himself.
So it is better to focus on whether the child will have a worthy role model of a woman and mother before his eyes: healthy emotionally and physically, caring and attentive, but at the same time restrained and self-confident, firm in his demands and consistent.
A mother who doesn't take it out on him, doesn't scream hysterically, because she has Bad mood, does not forget to cook dinner or wash clothes, because at that time she was crying and wondering where her husband hangs out at night.
2) Maternal blackmail. When a woman feels her marriage is falling apart, she needs tools in the righteous fight to mend the broken, hold on to the uncontrollable, and control the uncontrollable.
If money has nothing to do with it, then the only tool in the ruthless battle for women’s happiness is the child.
The heroine of our story wants to keep her husband, so every day she comes up with new assignments related to fatherly care for her son.
Maybe the husband who ran away to his mistress would have taken care of the child even without outside instructions, we don’t know for sure.
In any case, there is nothing wrong with a father communicating with his son.
The bad thing is that Irina pulls the child out of the usual routine of life in order, under the pretext of another errand, to see her husband, because it seems to her that this will change something for her personally.
It would be more reasonable to protect the child from this useless war, rather than send him to the front line.
If you make an effort to spend as much interesting and entertaining time with your son as possible, instead of racking your brain over how else you can use the boy to inadvertently catch the eye of your husband, then at least one relationship in this woman’s life can still be saved .
3) Maternity compensation. In addition to the tools to fight for happiness, a deceived woman needs support for a new breakthrough in life. Sometimes children can become such a support in a positive sense.
But when a woman begins to hold on to her child like a drowning man holding on to a straw, afraid to be left alone with her thoughts, little man turns into a pet that should always be at hand, so it is no longer a question of raising an independent, strong personality capable of making decisions.
All forces are devoted to preservation psychological health mother, and the child is simply sacrificed, like a lamb to the slaughter.
A woman needs to remember that life balance, lost as a result of problems with her husband, should be sought not in children, but within herself.
“How will he live without me?”
I was once asked if I knew examples life stories, when a man left his family for a young woman, and then complained that he was unhappy with his new wife.
At first I perked up, because I really know a lot of such stories.
But the more I thought about it, the less my examples seemed relevant to me, because all these stories were retold by ex-wives triumphant with gloating from the words of their ex-husbands, who dropped by for a visit and could not think of anything better than to complain to their ex about your current one.
Can such stories be believed? You can't believe it. In the end, what else? ex-husband can you tell me? About the fact that he and his new young wife had exceptional sex yesterday?
Of course, as in any marriage, problems arise that someone wants to cry about. Why not tell your ex-wife everything?
You can immediately kill two birds with one stone: cry into your vest and flatter your ex, and she, you see, will get emotional and will think less about alimony.
So what is a woman really afraid of when she thinks that her man will be lost without her? The woman is afraid that he will be happy without her.
I’m going to say something for which my gender comrades can kick me on the street, but a woman often prefers to suffer in a relationship that does not suit her and will never suit her, than even hypothetically allow a situation where after a divorce she will be left alone , and he will marry again, have new children and forget what her name was.
There is only one way out: I feel bad, but I not only won’t leave, I will still fight for us, because only when I’m around can I be sure that your life will also be ruined. The Count of Monte Cristo smokes nervously in the corridor.
If he feels good somewhere without you, but feels bad with you, by and large you can’t do anything about it except be happy for him and wish him good luck.
And it is much simpler than it might seem at first glance.
I know many women who, after a divorce, began to feel happier and even look better than in their marriage.
No matter what they say, the secret of a fresh, attractive female appearance is not only in care and proper nutrition, but also in healthy, sound sleep, emotional stability and inner peace, which married woman may not be enough if she has to bear the burden of a dysfunctional relationship.
“How will I live without him?”
But this, in principle, good question, if you answer it correctly.
If the main character of Woody Allen's film Jasmine had asked herself this question in time and then answered it correctly, she would have thought ten times before turning her husband, a multimillionaire fraudster, over to the FBI.
That is, she actually sawed off the branch on which she was sitting, and then slowly went crazy because she could not digest the reality that had fallen on her.
The difficulty with this issue is that For a woman, marriage often becomes the peak of her career.
Let's say a woman got married, then sat in prison for a long time. maternity leave, giving birth to three children in a row, and then going to work no longer made sense, because the qualifications were lost, the skills were forgotten, but there are no regrets, because she succeeded as a housewife, she has a wonderful, cozy home, good children and worthy husband who can afford big family with a non-working wife.
Can you imagine a woman’s dilemma if one day such a husband wants to constantly spend the night with his mistress?
It's good to have it in case of divorce marriage contract, which will protect the rights of a woman deceived in her expectations, the property is registered in the name of both spouses, and the husband’s income is official and stable, so there will be no problems with calculating an adequate amount of alimony.
Unfortunately, in our country, women rarely think about such things, rushing to “get married”, and then ten to twenty years later life together They realize that they have no plan B.
But the housewife who was stuck in unhappy marriage and was forced to close her eyes male infidelity, drunkenness or humiliating tyranny, because the question “how will I live without him?”, despite emotional experiences, she can answer quite honestly, soberly and judiciously: this is not our case.
The heroine of our story asks herself this question in vain and answers it incorrectly.
When a healthy, self-sufficient woman who has a quality education, a well-paid job, her own home, a family ready to support her, understanding friends and friendly colleagues, begins to be afraid of loneliness, it’s like suddenly starting to be seriously afraid of the third world war or the explosion of a nuclear power plant in Ostrovets: theoretically there is such a danger, but this is not a reason to move to a bomb shelter.
What if this is love? I'll never believe it.
Love is a mature feeling that makes a person more selfless and wiser.
I think that our heroine is driven more by infantilism and spoilage. How small child who does not receive the desired toy begins to roar, fall on the floor in a department store and fight in hysterics, and the wealthy beautiful woman, who has never known abandonment from loving parents, from men and from fate, cries at night, rages and goes to a psychologist, because for the first time in her life she did not get what she wanted and could not accept what was happening to her.
I in no way promote divorce. On the contrary: I believe that you cannot give in to problems and you need to fight for your happiness.
But the key word here is “happiness”, and we must fight for it.
In many cases, this struggle comes down to having to cope with yourself, your your own fears and uncertainty, you have to grow up and change, and this is much more difficult than hiding from reality in girlish fantasies.
Parting is not a fiasco in life and not a collapse of hopes, it is the only sure way to look into your closed box.
Yes, it’s painful and unpleasant, but it’s better to find out in time that your marriage is dead than to wait until your nose starts to get stuffy from the cadaverous smell in the apartment. published .
Elena Radion
If you have any questions, please ask
P.S. And remember, just by changing your consciousness, we are changing the world together! © econet
Modern life is very rich in various twists of fate. Today loving friend each other's spouses may turn out to be sworn enemies tomorrow. And it very often happens that, at first glance, strong marriage ends in a loud divorce case.
Today no one is surprised by the quirks of both men and women. But most often there are men who are torn two families. And such an ambiguous situation in modern world occurs very often. According to all laws in our country, polygamy is prohibited, it turns out that the status of one wife is considered legal, and the second woman will be a common-law wife. And often there are heirs in both families, and the wife knows that the man has a second family.
People always paint a picture of a kind, gentle wife and a bitch lover. But sometimes it happens that a decent man finds himself in such a situation. He sincerely tries to understand the situation, but it absorbs him completely. A man loves children, whom he does not intend to abandon, sympathizes with women, is afraid of losing both, is wary of shame and sidelong glances, does not know how to solve a huge problem. And a man’s life begins on two fronts.
This difficult situation brings a lot of suffering to families, because the man is trying to reconcile both families, and each woman wants to drag her loved one into her family. And it often happens that such complicated situations drag on for many years, and a man is torn into two families.
There are quite a few reasons when such families arise. Most common cause, due to which such double families appear, is financial well-being men. Very rich men want to diversify their family life and start a young woman. The girl does not intend to lose her patron, and gives birth to his children, while receiving the unspoken status of the wife of second place. If a man is able to provide for both families himself, then women put up with the presence of a rival for fear of losing financial stability.
The second reason for the creation of such marriages is women's fear of loneliness. According to statistics, much fewer men are born than women, so a woman’s fear is quite justified. So she endures her rival, each living her own life, and sharing a man for years.
But there are also cases when a man really adores and idolizes both women and does not intend to part with each. They, in turn, are attached to one man. And it turns out to be quite a complex love triangle.
Often people live like this until the end of their days, but there are families who are desperately trying to find a way out of the current difficult situation. The main stage of solving a problem is understanding the truth - how such a situation can end. Once progress is outlined, the decision is made much easier. And strange marriages cannot be understood as something good and acceptable, because everyone, including children, feels incredible suffering.
Particularly destructive is endless jealousy. No matter what a woman says, in her subconscious she wants to return the man only to herself. And if she wants to achieve her goal, then there will be no rules for her.
Very frequent cases, when both wives in the process of the Cold War cease to think about their actions. Quarrels cross all permitted boundaries. There have been cases of women disfiguring their faces with sulfuric acid.
Children suffer no less from such family stories. After all, most often a man lives with his legal wife, and pays less attention to his mistress. Children from the “second wife” may suffer from a lack of attention from their father, even though they are provided with everything financially.
What is the final decision for a man to make?
But no matter how much the rope twists, the end will definitely be found. No matter how many years a man splits his time between two families, one day he will have to make a final decision, after which one woman is left with the terrible confidence that her personal life has not worked out.
The man in this whole story feels much better than women. After all, in any case, he himself will not remain. But at the same time, he forgets how much pain he brings to both families. After all, a person who loves will never hurt loved ones.
Only the participants themselves can find a way out of a rather difficult situation. And here it is necessary to take into account how two women and a male instigator look at such a situation. If all participants in the love process are absolutely happy with everything, then further stumbling blocks are pointless. But if one of the members of the love triangle is suffering, then the problem must be solved urgently.
The wisest decision married life one thing remains: married men not to have connections with strangers, and women should never destroy other people’s families. This is the only way to be truly happy. Women need to value themselves and not fall for such confusing relationships. Such a person, accidentally bursting into life, will not bring anything good. You should respect yourself, consider yourself an individual, and then you will definitely find a soul mate.
It's sad to realize this, but modern society It is not uncommon for a man to live in two families. Of course, polygamy is prohibited in our country, but no one talks about two wives. Usually one wife is official, and the second is a civil wife or, as they say, a mistress. You can sympathize with both. A woman, unlike a representative of the stronger sex, is more inclined to monogamy, so it is difficult to bear the understanding that she is not the only one with her beloved. Why do such situations arise, and is there a way out of them?
Who is hiding behind the face of the bigamist?
Psychologists note that dual relationships are characteristic of a morally immature man. Relationships in a couple give a person special integrity, but living in two families forces him to be torn between them, which, of course, is exhausting.
What are the reasons for this phenomenon?
One of the main and especially characteristic for our society is the financial security of a man. Most of today's rich people did not earn their money the easy way. They are tired, and there is also a family routine that requires attention. In such a situation, many businessmen are looking for an outlet, and often it becomes a young “second wife”, and not necessarily a beloved one. Another important fact - with a young beautiful girl It’s so easy to create the illusion of one’s own youth, the past years disappear, and with them all the problems. Therefore, a man supports his common-law wife, often has children from her, and provides for them. At the same time, divorce is not part of his plans, because he loves his official wife in his own way, especially since he has gone through and experienced a lot together with her.
However, sometimes a man really truly loves both women, or at least believes it. He is attached to them, losing one of them is a great tragedy for him. It cannot be said that a person is not tormented by remorse; some even try to break up with one of the women, but in most cases without success.
Is it possible to be happy without being the only one?
Often women live quite happily with a husband who is often not at home. Agree, this way you have more time for yourself, for get-togethers with girlfriends or other things. In addition, if the husband does not plan to be at home, there is no need to stand at the stove preparing lunch or dinner.
This illusion of well-being, as a rule, persists until the woman finds out about her rival. Some wives fall into a state of shock when they learn that their husband's eternal business trips were not business trips at all. It happens that in the depths of her soul a woman guessed that not everything was in order in the relationship, but she drove away bad thoughts. One day she finds out that the man not only has another woman, but he literally lives with her as with his wife. That’s when a calm, harmonious life collapses.
What should a woman do?
A man lives in two families - this is the very situation when it is impossible to give the only correct advice. Many women choose to endure their husband's bigamy for years. There can be many explanations for this: material security, fear of depriving the child of his father, and even ordinary habit. Some people continue to love the traitor no matter what.
This situation is fraught with the emergence of many problems. Constant jealousy and suffering not only exhaust a woman, but can cause various diseases, sometimes very difficult. It’s not without reason that they say that all diseases are caused by nerves.
In addition, having learned who their rival is, some women may decide to take a desperate step. Everyone has heard stories about scandals and even fights between women, sometimes reminiscent of military battles.
Don’t forget about children, both from your official wife and from your mistress. In any case, the child will suffer, watching the grief of the mother, quarrels between parents and the constant absence of the father. Good provision, prestigious kindergarten or school, vacations in exotic countries will not help compensate the child for the lack of harmony in the family.
If at least one party suffers in a love triangle, of course, it would be better to end this relationship. It is known that in such cases a man rarely initiates a break with one of the women, so the woman should take the initiative into her own hands. Anyway, sooner or later such relationships will end, so maybe it would be better if this happens earlier?
Mention should also be made of situations where an ambiguous position suits all sides of the triangle. A wife may know about her husband’s mistress, but not worry too much about it: “if she gets mad, she’ll settle down.” An unofficial wife may be satisfied that a man provides for her. A man in such a situation will be even more pleased: two wives and no conflicts between them. Often this position persists until the death of one of the sides of the triangle. It is interesting that according to statistics, in most cases it is the man who dies first, and often from heart disease. Probably, bigamists still don’t live in peace. 5 votes)
