Your thoughts begin to race through your head.
Maybe I said something stupid? Was I acting strange? What if people thought I was stupid, annoying, or just an idiot?
When you worry about what other people think of you, you start thinking negative thoughts, clinging to negative thoughts. Such thoughts can cause feelings of self-doubt, anxiety and insecurity. Therefore, to avoid awkward situations, you hide your true self from others.
It's better to be invisible than to be convicted, right?
You already know that you don't have to worry about what people around you think of you, but that's easier said than done.
Now is the perfect time to get out of the self-created prison built on the fear of being judged. Here are 12 simple ways that will help you do this.
Understand that you are not a telepath
Do you really know what other people think of you? We often think we know, but guessing can often lead to bad conclusions.
When I planned to leave my corporate job in Paris and head to New York to start a business, I was afraid to tell people. I thought that they would not support me, would try to dissuade me, or might say that I was crazy.
When I talked about this later with one of my former colleagues, it turned out that she had similar plans and she thought that I was brave for such a decision. The moral is that you never know what people think until you give them a chance.
Act with a long-term perspective
Judgment from other people can hurt. But it is not as strong as the pain of missing out on an opportunity because you are afraid that you will not be understood. Just like when you approach an attractive person at a party, you may face immediate rejection, but at the same time, you could miss out on the love of your life if you don't act.
Negative comments from others affect you instantly, but regret over missed opportunities is a wound that grows over time. Be prepared for short-term inconvenience in exchange for something that will last you a long time.
Stop judging yourself
Often the judgment of other people is based on what we judge ourselves for. Pause for a second and think about this. What you are afraid of being judged for is actually what you blame yourself for, isn't it?
So, who ultimately judges us? That's right, ourselves.
We are so confident in our clumsiness that we tend to look for confirmation of our beliefs in the reactions of other people. When we stop blaming ourselves and accept what makes us feel insecure, we are no longer afraid of judgment from others.
Stop judging others
The more we judge others, the more we think we will be judged. This is a continuous vicious circle that needs to be broken. So instead of judging people, appreciate them for who they are. Look at them as your teachers who help you improve and develop in life.
When you find yourself judging others, replace that judgment with curiosity. What can you learn from this person? Why are you reacting this way? Remember also that thanks to this person, sometimes we can learn a lesson about what we shouldn’t be.
Know who you relate to
We are afraid of judgment from other people. But do you know exactly who these “other people” are? When I try to define this, I always go back to my school classmates. Not school friends, but classmates.
In the end, today, do I really care what they think about me and how I live? Don't think.
The people who are truly important in your life will (or at least should) love you no matter what.
Understand that it's not about you
The source of people's negative reactions is their own experiences, wounds, and personal point of view. The point is own fears and restrictions. It has nothing to do with you - nothing.
Quite a liberating thought, isn't it?
For example, when I decided to start a business, one woman told me: “Sure, but just know that you won't have any free time at all for months or even years.” After I repeated this unpleasant thought in my head, it dawned on me - this was her understanding of starting a business, not mine.
Focus on what makes you happy
If you're afraid to do what makes you happy because of what people might think of you, you're only wasting your time. There's no use worrying about it. It doesn't give you anything and it doesn't change anything. It just keeps you busy... with nothing!
Instead, channel your precious energy into what will make a difference in your own life. Just shift your focus away from them and onto what will make you happy. The more you love what is in your life, the less you will need approval from others.
Figure out what's upsetting you
Why are you worried you will be judged?
For your work situation, your relationships, or perhaps your skills and intelligence? Recognize what's causing your insecurities and figure it out. Either accept the situation as it is, or change it in some way.
Once you accept your situation, you will no longer need to worry about how others will react. You have your own understanding and approval, and that is the only thing that matters.
Expect a reaction
Instead of being afraid of the reactions that may arise, expect them. If you don't evoke a reaction in someone (positive or negative), you probably haven't dared to be yourself fully.
Don't be afraid to awaken reciprocal feelings in other people, even if they are negative. You don't have to agree with everyone, and they don't have to agree with you. And that's completely normal.
Talk to the person who you feel is judging you
The next time you think someone is judging you, talk to that person and bring up the topic. You'll be surprised to notice that they usually have other things on their mind - things you didn't even know about.
More often than not, other people are so deep in thinking about their own lives that they don't have time to think about yours. Who knows, maybe they are worried about what people like you think about them?
Do what scares you
Dive into everything that makes you feel insecure or scared. Talk about it, express it, write about it until you are comfortable with it.
Wear leopard print tights in public (oops, gotcha... hehe), talk about your weird interests with people, and be brave to ask questions that might seem stupid. Instead of hiding, be more open about who you are.
Accept yourself
That's what it all comes down to in the end, isn't it? If you accept yourself completely, you don't worry about what others think of you. Accept your imperfections, flaws and weaknesses. Be your imperfect ideal self.
You are unique, and there has never been and never will be a person on this planet with the same set of DNA, personality traits, and talents that you have. Don't deprive the world and don't take away your uniqueness. This is your superiority.
The world is waiting for YOU
When you doubt yourself, it's easy to worry about what other people think of you, which only leads to more doubt. This is a harmful cycle that makes you feel insecure, frustrated, and prevents you from moving forward.
You are capable of many things in this life - don't let the fear of judgment hold you back. You deserve to live your life as the happy, passionate, and slightly crazy person that you are. (Don't worry, we're all a little to one side or the other.)
Now is the time to take your energy and strength back. These 12 simple ways should help you do just that. And always remember that the most important thing for you is your own.
Now go out and show the world who you really are. We are waiting.
Psychological tests have become available to every ordinary user. Today you can reveal the secret and get an answer to the question: “What do others think about me?” Look deep inside yourself! This does not require special skill, just compliance with some rules.
How to find out what others think of you
The presented test is carried out based on the associative technique.
It helps to compare your internal state and preferences at this stage of life. In order for you to conduct the test, you will need to select a bouquet. However, this must be done correctly!
First, relax and imagine something pleasant.
Focus and ask the question: “What are others thinking”?
Take a quick look at all the presented bouquets.
Within 5 seconds, select the image you like best.
Then read the meaning of the colors from the presented number value. The main thing is not to look at the answers in advance. Otherwise, you will not be able to get an accurate result.
The meaning of the selected bouquet in the test
Below are transcripts: “what do others think of you”?
2. Emotionality and passion– you are a creative person who is very vulnerable. Everyone sees you as a person who is passionate about his work, but you find it difficult to make contact.
3. Thoughtfulness and intelligence– you like to think, but at the same time you don’t have your head in the clouds. Everyone around you hopes to receive from you wise advice. After all, you have high intelligence.
4. Insight and philosophy– the ability to find an approach to everyone and increased instinct will never let you down. That's why everyone feels at ease around you. They will trust you with even the most terrible secrets.
5. Confidence and dominance– a strong personality who tends to be a leader. You know how to take everything into your own hands. People feel this support!
6. Charm and activity- you can bewitch anyone. In addition, you are very active and know how to stir up everyone. The real soul of the company.
7. Happiness and peace– it’s always comfortable to be around you. Everyone feels filled with happiness. You are very serene and this is your dignity.
9. Optimism and luck– no matter what happens in your life, you always try to overcome everything with a smile. In addition, you are a lucky person from birth. This is why they love you.
Now you know what others think about you. Take advantage of this information and engage in self-development. It always bears fruit.
If you liked the test, save it and share with your friends!
Every person wants to be liked by others, dreams of being attractive in the eyes of others. Many people constantly monitor their Facebook and Instagram pages, counting likes and comments. To be liked by others is a desire that was born with us.
As we mature, we learn to separate our thoughts and emotions from the opinions of other people, but many of us continue to seek, and in some cases ask, approval of our actions from others. This can lead to serious problems, especially when it comes to happiness. A survey was recently conducted in which 3,000 people took part. 67% of respondents admitted that their self-esteem directly depends on the opinions of other people.
We react to everything that surrounds us. We have long-established expectations about how the world should work and how the people who inhabit it should behave. And one of our firmly established beliefs is that we know how other people should react to us, to our appearance and behavior.
About 100 years ago, sociologist Charles Cooley came up with the theory of the mirror self, the essence of which is as follows:
I am not what I think of myself, and I am not what others think of me. I am what I think about what others think about me.
This once again proves how much importance we attach to the opinions of other people.
However, we forget that other people often judge us based on their past experiences, habits, feelings - everything that has nothing to do with us. Therefore, basing self-esteem on other people's opinions is very unreliable.
When you rely completely on the assessment of other people, you try in every possible way to please them, to rise in their eyes, and ultimately lose your self.
But there is good news: we have the power to stop this. We can become self-sufficient and not look back at others, wondering how they evaluate our every step.
How not to worry about other people's opinions
1. Remind yourself that many people don't think about you at all.
We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how rarely they do.
Ethel Barrett, writer
Nothing could be closer to the truth than this statement. Other people have better things to do than sit and think about you. If it seems to you that someone thinks badly of you, mentally criticizes you, stop: maybe this is a figment of your imagination? Perhaps it's just an illusion fueled by your internal fears and self-doubt. If you constantly engage in self-flagellation, this will become a real problem that will poison your whole life.
2. Think with your own head
Sit down and in a calm environment think about the place of other people's opinions in your life. Think about situations in which the evaluations of others are meaningful to you. Determine how you react to them. If you understand that the assessments and opinions of others determine your self-esteem, then think about changing your behavior pattern.
Tell yourself: “Instead of relying on others again, I will learn to listen and hear my own thoughts and think exclusively with my own head.” Learn to cut out unnecessary noise, separate the wheat from the chaff. The more often you do this, the faster it will become a habit.
The ultimate goal of all this is to never let the opinions of others determine what kind of person you are and how you should live your life. Understand that no one will ever be able to make you feel like a “little person” unless you give them that power yourself.
3. Feel free - don't try to find out what others think of you
When people start showing their creations to the public, for example, they often worry whether others will like them. They worry even more when they torment themselves with thoughts that other people don’t like their creativity. Until one day they realize how much effort and energy they spend on these useless experiences.
Have a new mantra that you repeat to yourself every day:
This is my life, my choice, my mistakes and my lessons. I shouldn't care what others think about it.
4. Pay attention to what really matters.
People will always think what they want. You cannot control the thoughts of others. Even if you choose your words carefully and have excellent manners, this does not mean that you will be nice to everyone. Everything can be misinterpreted and turned upside down.
What really matters is how you evaluate yourself. Therefore, when making important decisions, try to be 100% true to your beliefs and values. Never be afraid to do what you think is right.
Start by listing 5-10 qualities that are important to you. For example:
- honesty;
- self-esteem;
- self-discipline;
- compassion;
- focus on success and so on.
If you have a list like this, you will be much less likely to make uninformed decisions, you will have a system of principles, and ultimately you will have something to respect yourself for.
5. Stop thinking that not liking someone is the end of the world.
What if they don't like me? What if the person I care about refuses me? What if I am considered a black sheep? These and similar questions too often plague people. Remember: if someone doesn’t like you, and even if the person you care about doesn’t feel the same way about you, it’s not the end of the world.
But we continue to be afraid of this mythical “end of the world” and allow our fears to get the better of us, constantly feeding them ourselves.
Ask yourself: “If my fears come true and the worst happens, what will I do?” Tell yourself a story (or better yet, write it down) about how you will feel after rejection, how disappointed you will be, and then you will understand that this is a negative, but still an experience, and you will move on. This simple exercise will help you understand that not liking someone is not so scary.
Most often, such thoughts and worries are invented by us ourselves, since most people are too busy with their own with our own lives to pay significant attention to what you do or how you do it. In addition, others, in turn, may worry about what you think about them.
You just need to get these thoughts out of your head! Instead of worrying about what others think, show concern about what you think about yourself. Realize that the opinions of strangers are the opinions of people who are strangers to you. Your opinion of yourself is much more important than the opinions of other people; their opinions have very little in common with yours. None of them know exactly what you are capable of, what you have been through, or what you are striving for.
Don't be afraid that you will turn into some kind of inconsiderate, antisocial person if you stop thinking about what others think of you.
Whenever you start to change something in your life - start a new business, discover a new diet, change your clothing style, have a desire to start playing sports or spiritual development, then don’t be surprised to see a negative reaction from others. This is fine. People around you may start giving you many examples and explanations of why you are doomed to fail. In turn, if you internally feel that you are on the right path, then do not allow yourself to be manipulated.
Of course, it happens that the fears of others are justified. Then what happens if others are right and you are not successful? What if you didn't achieve the goal you were warned about? None of this matters, even if they were right. It's completely normal when someone doesn't achieve what they planned. Maybe you needed to gain experience and next time you will achieve success, or maybe, thanks to your efforts, you will achieve something that you did not expect to get at the beginning of your changes.
A lot of people around us warn us that we shouldn’t do something, but it’s important to go ahead and do it anyway, but be prepared for failures. By trying to achieve something, you gain new valuable knowledge or experience, or new useful contacts, which will ultimately lead you to success, and sometimes to major breakthroughs. These successes will never happen if you don't try.
As history has shown more than once, failure is an integral part of success. It's okay if you didn't succeed in creating your business the first time. It's okay if you gave a speech that the audience didn't like. It's okay if you were training for a marathon and didn't make it to the finish line. Anyone can fail. Failure is one of the best ways learn and grow.
You also need to develop self-confidence. You must learn and believe that you have the ability to achieve your goals in life. Until you believe in yourself, no one will believe in you. Believing in yourself is very important. And only when you try with faith and aspirations will it grow with each new victory.
Self-confidence is the result of success. Try and achieve success!
