Statuses about the New Year! Special holiday selection of funny and funny statuses about the New Year!
We select, select, polish, and create Christmas mood for yourself, and for your friends and loved ones! Happy New Year!
Statuses about New Year 2016 - Year of the Monkey:
I ask you, Santa Claus, let there be no tears in the New Year. Let the war end, let the wall between people fall that life has built and let those who only expect benefit from it...
Smile, the Monkey jumps from branch to branch, will bring you good luck!!!
Now everyone main question, Grandfather Frost, at what rate will you count your gifts?
Smile, the Monkey is jumping, Happiness is moving towards you, knock on the piece of wood, have fun and wait for Happiness!!!
Don't be a Monkey in 2016. But, I allow you to be a little drunk!))
Good Grandfather Frost, I ask you one thing in the year of the Monkey, protect me from macaques and gorillas, and bare-bottomed princes didn’t come either, simple nice guy give it to me!
Statuses about 2016 Year of the Monkey:
May the New Year bring all that everyone is looking forward to!
The Monkey came running and made me laugh ha-ha-ha... This is not a piece of poetry, but an approach from afar...
Happiness, money, and fun, more idleness!
Let them pay for this too and let them have enough for all their desires!
Funny statuses about New Year 2016:
This year I promise to behave like a Monkey! So don’t be surprised if I’m a little drunk!
This year I will NOT wait for a New Year's Miracle - I will create miracles myself!!!
For the New Year, I have only one wish: that in the New Year I don’t come across sour tangerines, even if sour tangerines and tangerines with a lot of seeds are eaten by sales consultants and minibus drivers!
Last New Year, when the goat ruled the roost, I gored everyone!!! So you can relax in 2016!
- Hello! Where will you celebrate the New Year?
— Yes, we’ll probably get together with friends on Facebook.
New Year I will jump like a monkey, the symbol of the year obliges..
The Year of the Monkey is approaching. Some people don’t even have to buy a suit, just cut a hole in their jeans... website (c)
I want you to increase everything in 2015, the Year of the Monkey, except your weight and debts!))
Statuses about the New Year:
Modern children do not need to wait until their parents leave to celebrate the New Year - there are no parents on VKontakte!
January 1 - I wasn’t drunk - Yes, when we were walking home, at 5 in the morning you hugged a homeless man and shouted: Dumbledore, you’re alive!!
Idea for a New Year's party: Everyone pulls out a piece of paper with one of the deadly sins and indulges in it with impunity all night.
Statuses about the New Year:
In my opinion, this is blasphemy: first kill the Christmas tree, then put it dead in the apartment, and then walk around its corpse and sing “A Christmas tree was born in the forest”!
I DON'T WANT TO DECIDE ANYTHING, I WANT A NEW YEAR!!!
Soon to the idiotic questions “How are you?”, “What are you doing?”, “How are you feeling?” another one will be added: “Where will you celebrate the New Year?”
Give me back my years when I was in kindergarten and worried only because I didn’t want to be a “bunny.”
Usually only the first 5-10 glasses are remembered about the New Year!!!
WITH today I'm on vacation. If anyone needs me, I'll be sober in two weeks, sometime after January 14th!!!
It just so happens that almost all people in modern world registered in various social networks. And on the eve of any holiday, I want to decorate my page original status, which essentially represents each individual's attempt to assert himself. Using cool statuses about the New Year 2016, you can not only show all your friends your festive mood, but also cheer people up with the help of a “lucky word”.
1. Main problem New Year's Eve - the prepared mountains of food are simply too much to handle!
2. The only thing better than a mistress christmas tree. You dress her up in whatever you want - she’s silent, undress her - again, not a word.
3. Letter from all civil servants to Santa Claus: Our dear Santa Claus, with a beard made of cotton wool, don’t give us anything - increase your salary!!!
4. Only once a year, on January 1, tap water becomes sweeter than spring water: I would drink it all year long without stopping.
5. Every year it’s the same thing: I promise not to drink, not to smoke, to start playing sports next year... Then I wake up and realize that it was a terrible dream!
6. Dear Santa Claus! I ask you: do not give me any more sweets for the New Year... better... semi-sweet.
7. Everyone has been waiting for a long time for the arrival of Grandfather Frost, St. Nicholas, Santa Claus or any other man, because the main thing is that he comes with gifts!
8. How the old people spent the New Year, this is how they will hangover in the new one.
9. Since the Fire Monkey will be the symbol of the next year, it is better to stock up on bananas - just in case.
10. Whatever one may say, Santa Claus is the ideal of a real man: he is ready to give any gift for just a poem.
11. Why did you decide that I will be alone for the New Year? They will celebrate with me with crab sticks and herring under a fur coat.
12. New Year's Eve is the time when people eat everything they have stocked up on for the last 2 weeks.
13. Hello again Santa Claus! It seems to me that last year I misspelled the name of my gift, and most likely made a mistake in the word Porsche...
14. Dear Grandfather Frost! Give me a New Year's list of all the boys who didn't behave very well last year...
15. Santa Claus, I ask you as a person: next time let’s do something without reindeer...
16. For a man, the New Year is the most difficult time, because he must convince his child that he is Santa Claus, and his wife - vice versa.
17. Next year 2016 will be a little prettier than a monkey is already considered a rule of bad taste.
18. Friends! Don’t forget to log out of Contact and Odnoklassniki on December 31 this year at 11:55 p.m. to raise the post for the new year 2016.
19. It feels like I’m a moth: I’ve been eating only fur coats for 3 days now...
20. How to celebrate the New Year... it serves you right!
21. Don’t forget to congratulate best friend Happy New Year of the Monkey.
22. Don’t forget to throw out the trash from your bucket, your head and your life before the New Year comes...
23. After preparing for the New Year celebration, only lucky tickets remained in the wallet.
24. Only in New Year's Eve a person consists of 65% alcohol, 30% Olivier and 5% tangerine.
25. New Year is when I am more glad to receive a congratulations call at 3 am than at 10 am.
26. I’m ready for the New Year: I wrote a letter to Santa Claus, gave it to my husband, now I’m sitting and waiting.
27. Let beautiful and fluffy white snow fall by the New Year, otherwise you will have to throw mud and asphalt on the holiday.
28. My friends and I have good tradition: every year on December 31st we go... But on January 1st we don’t go...
29. If you really want your children to stay at home for the New Year, you yourself will have to go to the neighbors.
30. Boys’ childhood ends at the moment when they want their New Year’s wish to be fulfilled not by Santa Claus, but by the Snow Maiden.
By taking advantage of such statuses, you can raise your festive mood even higher and please all your Internet friends.
New Year's aphorisms 2020
WITH The most secret decree of the President is called “On ensuring at least some defense capability of the country at 5 o’clock in the morning on January 1 of each year.”
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G They say that on New Year's Eve the dollar will fall sharply!
If only I knew where he would fall, I would meet him there New Year!
ABOUT Be sure to congratulate your boss on the New Year 2016, after all, the year of the monkey.
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A For bad girls, Santa Claus will give menstruation for the New Year!... And for bad boys for New Year, Santa Claus will give bad girls with menstruation.
D Ed Frost! Make sure they don't tease me. Vova Kakashkin. 7 years old.
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T Only on New Year’s Day, the President’s congratulations are broadcast on all channels, but they watch it only on the first one.1 January: why do I feel so bad? So you have to remember, I drank champagne first, then vodka, then champagne again. Exactly! Olivier poisoned herself
TO will he remember the New Year? He who does not smoke or drink will remember the New Year...
ABOUT Livier... coming soon... look in all refrigerators in the country...
70 % of people decorate the Christmas tree only from the side that is visible.
M um, will dad give you a fur coat for New Year?
- No, son.
- And you try to lie on the floor, scream, and kick your legs...
WITH No matter how much you give Santa Claus a drink, he won’t forget his bag...
WITH The biggest bummer of the New Year is that Santa Claus gave such an awesome gift, but my husband... nothing at all!
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D I’m laying it out... I’m ready for the New Year... The table is decorated, the tree is set, the children are wrapped, the gifts are dressed, the dress is made up, the eyes are ironed, I walked my husband, I congratulated the dog... It seems that I haven’t forgotten anything...
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N New Year is the only day of the year when you can eat at night.
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— H then you do... On New Year's Eve... MADAM?
- I’m gaining weight... by three kilograms!...
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P A wave of photo sessions is approaching: me and the Christmas tree... me under the Christmas tree... me behind the Christmas tree... instead of the Christmas tree, it’s also me...
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IN Ruth everything that in the New Year your wishes come true! Last year at midnight I made a wish to get some sleep, so what? - I danced all night!
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M il Grandfather Frost, beard made of cotton wool, I don’t need gifts! Increase your salary!
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N The New Year should be celebrated in an unusual way, for example - with a cross on the wall.
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G I tell my daughter that I’ll give her the skates, and she replies: “No need, Santa Claus will give me the skates, and you do something else.”
In short, you need to buy rollers and something else...
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IN throughout the year we are all so cool: we want new model iPhone, iPad, laptop, cooler car... And in December we enjoy tangerines, Christmas trees and believe in magic...
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U Knowing my deepest desires, Santa Claus decided to come in person...
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U Americans put Christmas gifts in socks, but for us, socks are already a New Year's gift.
M Andarinas are in use, which means New Year is coming soon.
N New Year is coming, let the people kiss...
U students have only two holidays - New Year and every day.
ABOUT One boy asked Santa Claus for a brother, and received the answer: “Boy, send me your mother!”
WITH Who you spend the New Year with will be the reason for your children in September.
G They say that on New Year’s Eve everything always comes true... Even things that can’t come true for the whole year!
N New Year - the country, choking on champagne and vodka, falls into the Olivier season.
- H what do you do for New Year? - Salads.
1 On January, everyone wakes up as a fire-breathing dragon.
D Dear Moroz, last New Year I asked you for a boyfriend. So, take this goat back and give us some markers.
M We sacredly promise ourselves that from the New Year we will stop doing everything that gave us the most pleasure in the old one.
P eat, sing, have fun, but don’t lie under the tree so that Grandfather Frost doesn’t take you to the sobering-up station.
E If in the morning you feel that you celebrated the New Year incorrectly, the meeting must be repeated.
N New Year - tangerine in my mouth! Santa Claus - Olivier on my nose!
Z Hello, Grandfather Frost! I'll break your nose! I've already had diarrhea for five days now from your gifts...
N The new year is measured in liters.
N And never stick snowflakes on the refrigerator on New Year's Eve - they remind drunken guests of the letter F...
UV. friends and all those who wished happiness, love and good luck last New Year. I hasten to inform you that nothing happened.
WITH We'll soon be on the Internet, we won't be celebrating the New Year, but updating it.
P Oh, in my opinion, this is blasphemy: to kill a Christmas tree, and then walk around the corpse and sing “A Christmas tree was born in the forest”!
N How much more fun the New Year would be if not only Father Frost, Snow Maiden and Snowflakes, but also Icicles danced around the Christmas tree.
WITH Every year the New Year becomes more and more frequent...
N and on New Year's Eve we drank gin. For some reason I remembered my student days, when New Year's table There was only vodka for drinks, and only a Christmas tree for snacks.
N and for the New Year I will be an analyst! I’ll keep an eye on it: is everyone filled?
TO The number of Snow Maidens ordered for the New Year is several times greater than the number of children in our country.
31
December I really want to start a new life in the New Year!
And on January 1, we are not even able to continue the old...
G they will say, on New Year’s Eve, whatever they want,
To whom what will happen the next morning is forgotten.
E If you woke up in an unfamiliar place under a Christmas tree and you are cold and scared, then do not rush to yell “aww” in a bad voice.
Most likely, it's just New Year's morning.
We present to your attention a selection best statuses for the New Year 2016. They will perfectly decorate your page on Odnoklassniki, VKontakte or other social networks.
Funny and cool statuses
Those who don’t smoke or drink will remember the New Year! And whoever drinks and smokes will amuse them all!
Prepared for the New Year - now the wallet is as old Italian tradition can be thrown away.
I won’t blush for the New Year -
I'll get drunk and forget everything.
I wonder if anyone has ever congratulated all their friends on Odnoklassniki on the New Year with a personal greeting?
How you celebrate the New Year is how you will spend it. This means that everything will be OK for me in the New Year, I will celebrate it on Odnoklassniki.
I love winter for the New Year,
For Christmas trees and snowflakes,
For what everyone will pour for me
And he will give you a tangerine.
Many envy the work of Santa Claus - once a year. Don't you think about how much time he spends choosing gifts? I chose only my wife for a month!
Statuses about the Monkey - the symbol of 2016
I will rent out my mother-in-law for New Year's Eve, as a symbol of the New Year. When ordering for the whole night - champagne as a gift.
Don't look at the face
Look into your soul
Monkeys too
I want love.
Three monkeys decided
Give up evil as soon as possible,
And they just covered it with their paws
Faces from mouth to ears:
I don’t see, I don’t hear, and I don’t even
I won't tell anyone anything.
Why is the Internet so corrupted?
Let's resist evil.
I want to live where it’s always warm, eat exotic fruits, do nothing and don’t worry about unshaven legs. If it was the genes of my ancestors that spoke to me, then we really came from apes.
The wife showed New Year's menu: bananas baked with chicken, “Jolly kebabs” in banana syrup, “Banana Paradise” salad, chocolate-covered bananas, coconut-coated bananas, apple-banana juice. I’m sitting here and thinking: Why did I bring three bags of potatoes to my mother-in-law’s dacha?
I'm waiting very passionately
Year of the Red Monkey.
Statuses for the New Year 2016 with wishes and congratulations:
For the New Year, all I need to be happy is snow and my loved one nearby.
I wish everyone to celebrate the Year of the Fire Monkey with a sparkle.
Let the Goats pass away -
This is my wish for the New Year,
Away with tediousness and boring days,
The monkey is calling for a holiday.
I’m very happy to congratulate everyone
Happy Year of the Monkey,
May all wars stop
And the desired peace will come!
With all my heart I wish everyone,
May the New Year be without problems.
Never celebrate the New Year alone, otherwise who will tell you later how you celebrated it.
Happy New Year is not a Christmas tree, not gifts, not a treat, it is when the whole family is together. Good luck to everyone!
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My Dear Dear Ones, I congratulate you all on the Wonderful New Year 2016!
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Wake me up the day before the New Year 2016, along with the festive mood, tangerines and fireworks!
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New Year's morning is the most mysterious time of the day: they say it exists, but no one has seen it!
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Only January 1st, wish - Good morning, at five o'clock in the evening, is considered the most relevant wish in the New Year.
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No matter who you go to on New Year’s Eve, everyone’s table is overflowing with the financial crisis.
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Hmm, judging by the beginning, it seems to me that I have already seen this New Year...
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Each of us dreams of becoming happier in the New Year...
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December hasn't ended yet, and I'm already thinking about the New Year. And it feels like I’m already halfway through another year.
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New Year: Gifts for children. Santa Claus to mom.))
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The liver screams in horror... AGAIN, AGAIN New Year, well, but the ass frolics... wants to have fun again.
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Happy New Year, Santa Claus, I wish you more new poses.
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The New Year is walking across the planet... All people are like people, and we are on the Internet...)))
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I read the status in Odnoklassniki: “don’t forget to leave Odnoklassniki at 11:55 pm and celebrate the New Year.”
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New Year, New Year... Every year the same thing...
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They say that for the New Year, whatever you wish will always happen, but in the morning you will be ashamed.
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As you enter the new year, leave grievances in the past.
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I just don’t understand... After New Year's holidays I got all fat from what I ate... or my face is just swollen from what I drank...)))))))
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Somehow I suddenly felt the smell of the New Year! I really want this wonderful holiday to come soon...
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Decorate the Christmas tree again, run for groceries. Time of happiness and troubles - best holiday New Year!
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Dear Santa Claus, give me a New Year's gift handsome boy!.. Just don’t let him lie under the Christmas tree!
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The year has changed on Earth! The country is falling into the Olivier season.
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I've already been fed up with the question: "What will you do for the New Year?" What, what..., as in childhood I met... with tangerines and tea :)
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To everyone who is celebrating this New Year alone! You are not alone this night, there are many of us!))) I wish you that this holiday will be the last one spent alone! I wish you to find a loved one, loving one, loved one who will always be by your side! Happy New Year 2016!!!
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One MIRACLE on New Year's Eve still happens all the time... The refrigerator becomes dimensionless for several days!))
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How nice it is to buy New Year's gifts to your children. But it’s much more pleasant to watch how little hands clumsily remove the wrapping paper and rejoice at the surprise they find inside!
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But I wonder, was Santa Claus at the beginning a grandfather or a frost?
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New Year... And the chimes strike... I give him a tie, He gives me... DIAMONDS... No, well, I’ll dream about something like that...))))))))
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The New Year spirit smells like a Christmas tree there, the children will have gifts. Everything is different there... it’s a fairy tale, for adults and of course children.
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Holiday - New Year will bring good luck to everyone! Santa Claus will bring us success, happiness, faith, peace, joy, and health!
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Soon... New Year is coming! Rejoice planet! This is the first New Year after... the end of the world!
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Well! Happy New Year! This is so that you don’t change statuses 100 times later!
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New Year's magic - all the girls become more beautiful and kinder.
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My dear and beloved mother-in-law. Happy New Year! This is your year!
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- And I put a gift under the tree for my beloved for the New Year! - What is she? - And she’s still looking for him: the taiga is big!
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I hate New Year without you...
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So that... the New Year... does not start from scratch... the outgoing year... always ends with one...
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And who knows what the best thing about the new year is?!
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New Year is when people create problems for themselves almost throughout the entire month in order to get drunk in one night...))
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But not everyone’s NEW YEAR is over yet!
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GAZPROM's New Year's corporate party differs from others in that during it, Father Frost and Snegurochka do not fulfill wishes, but make them!
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New Year is coming soon, and I’m not married yet!!!)))
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I'm already prepared for the New Year! I bought Alkazeltser, Solpodein, activated carbon, Festal, Sorbex and Enterosgel!
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I love you, I want you, well, when you come....... New Year!!!
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Happy New Year, acquaintances and strangers, close and distant, loved and unloved, friends and enemies!
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Happiness is being able to find joy in every day of the new year.
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It's a new year, but you have to understand that it won't change you. This is just a new year, with the advent of which nothing changes in life.
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The New Year has arrived... I’ll insure myself against bad luck! Especially from unhappy love!
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Friends... it's time to take care of... where and with whom you will celebrate the New Year 2016... after all, there are only a few days left before it.
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I'll celebrate the New Year alone - vodka, juice and tangerine.
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Yes! I'm a grown girl! But the New Year is coming soon and I’m waiting for my New Year’s magic, my unique winter fairy tale))))…
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On New Year's Day, snow is quietly falling outside your window, let there be joy and laughter at your table!
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Don't forget to throw out trash before the New Year; From the bucket... From the head... From life...
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The New Year is coming, let the people kiss!
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He was so harsh that, having bought a gift for his girlfriend for the New Year, he hid it under the tree... In the forest...
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Due to changes in the seasonal schedule, Christmas trees are back on sale!
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Yesterday, returning home from work, I saw a decorated Christmas tree in someone’s window... Now I’m sitting and thinking: is it “ALREADY” or is it “YET”?...
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The new year is just around the corner! Happy New Year, friends! Just step forward, please, slowly, and not into the shit!
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I failed the endurance test. I can still eat and drink, but the phrase “Happy New Year” causes a hysterical attack.
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Girls! Let's organize a New Year's event: "Release the deer!"
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Good Grandfather Frost, a beard made of cotton wool... I’ll buy everything for myself - increase my salary!
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On New Year's Day I want... to return what I lost, to keep what I have, to get what I dream of...
New Year statuses about the New Year, statuses about 2016 New Year
