Hospitality etiquette. Etiquette for girls

“Just think, science! - you say. - Who can’t receive guests at home?! There is nothing complicated about it! The most important thing is to feed them and entertain them, that’s the whole wisdom!”

We assure you, everything is not so simple! Receiving guests at your home so that they want to visit you again is a whole science.

Guest visits can be planned or unplanned.

If a friend unexpectedly drops by for a minute, be sure that she is not expecting a multi-course dinner from you.

It is enough to treat her with a glass of lemonade or a cup of coffee.

But if you invite guests to your place for some kind of celebration, for example a birthday, know that they are expecting a festive treat from you. But for guests to come to you, they must first be invited.

Inviting guests. When and how best to invite guests

Most often, guests are invited in connection with some kind of celebration.

When planning to invite guests, you must first choose the right day. When choosing it, think not only about yourself, but also about the guests.

This should be a time when it is convenient for them to visit you. Most often, the visit is scheduled for a weekend. But it also happens that a celebration, such as a birthday, falls on weekdays, and you do not have the opportunity to postpone the celebration to another day.

Then it is better to invite guests for the afternoon, giving them the opportunity to solve all their problems in the morning.

Guests must be notified of the upcoming celebration at least 3 days before.

There are many ways to make invitations. You can just call everyone and invite them over the phone.

The same can be said in a personal meeting. Or you can send an invitation in writing. A written invitation is usually sent to a large celebration, e.g. New Year or a wedding, birthday or big anniversary.

It is sent no later than 4-6 days, and no earlier than 2 weeks. If you send an invitation right before the holiday, it may turn out that the person will not be able to come to you because he already has some other important thing planned for that day.

If the invitation is sent several days before the upcoming event, the person will have time to distribute his affairs, taking into account the fact that on a certain day he is going to visit.

But there is no need to send an invitation to visit several weeks before the upcoming holiday; so much time will pass that they may forget about it.

When notifying guests in writing about the upcoming celebration, you should choose the right invitation form.

We think your friends will enjoy fun hand-made cards more than official store-bought cards.

Your imagination will tell you how to make such invitations.

For example, if you are inviting someone to a picnic on the front lawn, then they can be in the form of a cocktail glass or an umbrella; if you are inviting them to celebrate the New Year together, they can be in the form of a Christmas tree or a firecracker. There can be many ideas, and how you implement them depends only on you.

What should you write on the invitation? We offer several samples, but, of course, you can compose the text yourself:

"Kate! I invite you to celebrate my birthday with me and my friends. Come to the address... March 1 at 6 pm Light.”

“Misha! I will be very pleased if you come to my birthday, which will be celebrated at... March 1 at 18:00, dress code - full dress. Will wait. Sveta".

“Peter Yakovlevich! I invite you to a celebration dedicated to (specify what), which will take place at the address... March 1 at 18:00 Sveta Vasilyeva.”

“Granny! I hope you haven't forgotten that it's your granddaughter's birthday. Please come see us on March 1st at 6 pm to celebrate. Kisses, Sveta."

A written invitation can be given personally to a person or sent by mail.

You can verbally invite both by phone and in person. But you definitely need to specify the exact time.

It is not enough to simply say “Come to me on the twentieth after lunch,” otherwise it may turn out that one guest will arrive at three o’clock, when preparations for the festive dinner are still in full swing, and another at eight, and everyone gathered will have to wait for him.

In addition, when inviting guests, you should also say how they should be dressed. We think that your friends will not feel very comfortable at a gala event in jeans and sweaters, when everyone around them is dressed to the nines.

Or, conversely, if you're planning an informal dance party, your three-piece suit-clad teen friend in a disco outfit will look ridiculous and not feel his best.

And all this is your fault, because when inviting guests to the holiday, you forgot to mention the dress code.

But it also happens that one of the friends declines the invitation. You shouldn't be offended by him. Perhaps he has a good reason to refuse the celebration, or other circumstances beyond his control forced him to refuse.

When sending an invitation, don’t worry about getting rejected. After all, you are not a seer and cannot know in advance whether a person will come to visit you or not. Refusing to come visit does not mean that this person treats you badly; rather, he simply does not have the opportunity to visit you that day.

But remember one rule: never invite a person who has already refused to come to visit you twice before.

By refusing to visit you two times in a row, a person makes it clear that he has no desire to communicate with you, which means he shouldn’t impose himself.

It also happens in life that you know in advance that someone cannot come to you, but it is inconvenient not to call him. How can this be? Our advice to you: still send an invitation, as they say, it’s your business to invite, his business is to refuse.

Even if you really want one of your friends to come to visit you, never persuade them to accept your invitation, let them decide for themselves whether they can come to you or not.

Sometimes it happens that among your friends there are two who, although they treat you in a friendly manner, cannot stand each other. The question immediately arises: should you invite them to your holiday?

If you plan great reception where there will be many guests, you can safely invite both: among large number visitors can easily find company and not pay attention to the enemy.

But if this is a small party where only a few people will be present, there is no need to invite them, they will argue with each other all evening or pointedly ignore each other, and this will ruin your whole holiday.

But in some situations, all the above recommendations can be ignored.

We mean parties where young people simply gather in one place to relax and dance.

Then they simply agree that anyone who has a desire can come and bring their share of food and drinks. This is an unconventional form of meeting in which you, as the hostess of the house, will not need to worry about refreshments. Simply from what your friends brought with them, a buffet is made, to which anyone can come and take what they like.

But organizing such a party requires special consent from the parents, because not everyone will like the sudden invasion of a huge number of teenagers, but if the parents allow it, then everything is in order.

So, in order to gather a company to celebrate a birthday, you need:

1) invite guests by sending them cards, or inform them verbally about the upcoming holiday;

2) make sure that all guests feel comfortable;

3) be sure to ask your parents. What if they object and the party is unexpectedly cancelled?

How to seat guests correctly

If you invite guests to your place, it implies that you want to treat them. This means that you will definitely encounter the problem of placing them at the table.

How to place guests at the table so that no one is offended? By inviting exclusively your friends, the problem can be easily solved, because all your friends are dear to you, and therefore it doesn’t really matter who sits where.

But if there is some kind of exceptional celebration coming up, the guests at the table need to be placed in a special way.

Rule one: the most honored guest takes the most honorable place at the table. And what place can be considered honorable? It is usually at the head of the table opposite the door.

This is where the most valuable guest should be seated. You can especially honor him by bringing him to the table yourself.

A place next to the hostess and owner of the house or next to the hero of the occasion is also considered honorable. This means that if you are celebrating your birthday, then on your right and left you can seat your most dear guests.

If both adults and children come to your holiday, adults take pride of place.

If there are so many guests that they simply cannot fit at one table, you can set two tables - separately for adults and separately for children in different rooms.

But you should not close the doors and completely isolate yourself from each other; let the holiday be common, then the guests will remember this day for a long time.

Rule two: guests at the table should be arranged in this way: boy - girl, boy - girl. After all, if you seat the guests differently, it may turn out that the boys will start talking about something of their own at one end of the table, and the girls will start chatting about their own, and the guests will not communicate with each other.

In addition, if you mix boys and girls, the boys can show their gallantry and court their tablemates.

Rule three: you don’t have to seat guests next to you who can’t stand each other. t. Even if a quarrel does not break out at the table, these people will definitely be offended, because you did not take into account their interests by placing them next to each other.

Also, you should not place girlfriends next to you who have not seen each other for a long time; they will discuss their problems, tell each other news and will not take part in the general conversation.

Rule four: if you want to place guests at the table in a special way, it is impolite to indicate to each person the place assigned to him. Under no circumstances should you say: “Sveta, you sit here, and you, Pasha, go there.” It's ugly and impolite. In order to indicate each guest his place, there are special cards. You can make them yourself, it's not difficult at all.

You need to write the guest's name on the cards. If you invite only people of the same age, do not mention the last name, the exception is when several of them have the same name.

For example, if you invite two Sergeys to your place, write “Sergey Ivanov” and “Sergey Petrov” on the cards so that there is no confusion. Under no circumstances write a person’s nickname on a card, even if he has long been accustomed to it and responds to it.

If you invite adults, you should write the name and patronymic of the person invited on the card. The exception is close relatives.

We think your grandmother will be offended if the card says “Anastasia at Semyonovna” instead of the usual “grandmother.”

The card can be decorated with beautiful and funny drawings, just avoid drawing caricatures of people and animals on them, guests may take it personally.

The card should be leaned against a wine glass or placed on a serving plate.

On especially special occasions, when a large reception is not planned, you can prepare a separate napkin for each guest with his name, and then cards will not be needed.

At receptions with the Roman commander Lucullus in the 1st century BC. e. the guests were served so many different dishes that they could not eat most of the food and took it home in a huge napkin so as not to offend the owner. By the way, the history of linen napkins, which are still used for setting the dinner table, dates back to those times.

“Lucullus's feasts” are a thing of the distant past, but even now we go to visit each other, and even more often than ever.

Hosting guests is an art. And any good housewife knows that this is no joke. The classic of English literature Oliver Goldsmith wrote that “... every dish tastes better when it is seasoned with hospitality.” Indeed, a warm welcome is what is essential and must be offered to guests. However, hospitality is not equivalent to hospitality when the table is overloaded with food and drinks placed at random, and the dominant “topic” at the table is not conversation, but tasting of various dishes.

When preparing to welcome guests We recommend paying attention not only to the food, but also to the content and purpose of the meeting itself.

Apparently, they say correctly that the atmosphere of the home reception you are hosting is largely determined long before it starts. For example, you are planning to invite guests to a birthday party. In this case, it is customary to invite only friends close to you and in no case be based on business considerations. Or, which is not better, invite only those whom you yourself have visited. The rules of etiquette in this case do not require reciprocity. The number of guests, of course, is determined by your capabilities. It is still believed that the optimal number of guests at a birthday dinner is eight to ten people. With a larger number of people, the conversation takes on a behind-the-scenes character, and the hero of the occasion is soon forgotten.

Lately, we most often invite guests by phone. Why not give a special solemnity to the invitation and send it by mail, write it on beautiful postcard? This is where your holiday will begin. And the guests will treat him with great attention. You should respond to the invitation as soon as possible, in writing or by telephone.

Having received a response from the guests and already knowing who will come, think about how to receive them, how to seat them at the table.

Etiquette provides certain rules in this regard. The most honorable places are in the middle of the table, and not at the ends, as some people think. At the same time, depending on the location of the table, the most honorable place, the first one, is considered to be the place opposite front door, on the side of the table facing the windows, the second place is opposite the first, the third is to the right of the first, the fourth is to the right of the second, the fifth is to the left of the first, etc.

Of course, the classic seating arrangement adopted at diplomatic receptions does not necessarily have to be strictly followed at home. But it is still obvious that at a birthday party, places of honor should be taken by the birthday boy and the people closest to him. The places at the ends of the table are considered less honorable, so it is not recommended to seat guests, especially women, in these places. If there are not enough seats at the table, then the birthday person himself can take a place at the end of the table. Thus, he will, as it were, head the table. It is also worth paying attention to the fact that a woman does not sit next to a woman, and a husband does not sit next to his wife. Particular courtesy should be shown to older people by seating them as close to the center of the table as possible.

If you can't plan everything in advance, show foresight when inviting guests to sit down at the table. Many of us know that the call of the hosts: “Dear guests, sit where you want,” leads to disorder and forgetting the main thing at the table - a friendly conversation, attention to older people, to women.

It is not at all necessary, and sometimes even undesirable, for people who previously knew each other to be seated next to each other. At the dinner table you should have a general conversation, and if there is none, try to introduce all your family and friends to each other. You are the owner, and this is the most convenient thing for you to do.

Atmosphere of the meeting depends on both the hosts and the guests. At official receptions, it is forbidden to talk about illnesses and other things unpleasant to all dinner participants. At home, of course, compliance with this rule is not so necessary. However, you should obviously not mention at the table that you have a bad stomach. The hosts will rightfully perceive this remark as a reproach for not preparing dietary food for you.

The main role at lunch or dinner is given to the host or hostess, who must direct the conversation in a direction that is interesting to everyone. And even if someone didn’t like the treat, he will remember the friendliness, interesting, meaningful conversation.

You must arrive at the gala lunch or dinner exactly at the specified time. It is unknown where the expression “diplomatic delay” has come into use among some people, in fact, it has nothing to do with diplomatic practice. Only “diplomatic precision” is known, since being late is considered a rather gross violation of etiquette and can be taken with offense.

If you are late, you can wait no more than fifteen minutes. Hosts should not make guests wait longer, as guests may think that for some reason preference is given to an impolite, but apparently more respected guest than them. A latecomer, if the guests are already sitting at the table, only approaches the hostess or the owner and asks for an apology. At the same time, the hosts do not get up from their place and do not find out why the guest was late.

When receiving guests, their meeting in the hallway also has a certain significance. Everyone should be greeted with a welcoming smile, everyone equally, regardless of their position or the degree of your relationship with them. If a husband and wife come to dinner, the wife is the first to greet the hosts.

If you have invited many guests, it is not necessary to introduce everyone to each other. It is enough to introduce the person who entered to three or four previously arrived guests. In turn, the newcomer does not need to shake hands with everyone present. It is enough to say hello to the hostess and owner, and the rest can only bow.

Before lunch, while guests are gathering, you can offer juices, cocktails, and soft drinks. The guests get to know each other and talk. At the same time, men are not recommended to sit on chairs or armchairs. After all, they cannot sit in the presence of women, although etiquette does not prohibit women from talking to standing men while sitting on a chair or armchair. They, as a rule, do not take advantage of this and also stand and wait for everyone to be invited to the table. An exception is made only for older people.

Preparing for the meeting, it is advisable to pay attention, and considerable attention, to the decoration of the table, which plays the role of a “material” center of the celebration. Try to show imagination, ingenuity, and taste so that the table is set not only elegantly, but so that the setting corresponds to the reason for the celebration.

When setting the table, first of all, you should pay attention to ensuring that the person sitting at the table feels comfortable and is not disturbed by the elbows of neighbors or the table leg. These problems disappear if the distance between the plates of two neighbors at the table is at least 60 - 70 centimeters.

It is recommended to place a soft, dense cloth under the tablecloth to protect the table surface from damage and also to soften the knocking of plates and cutlery. The tablecloth should be immaculately clean, well ironed, cover the entire table, hanging down by 20-30 centimeters. It doesn't have to be white. Other colors and shades also look beautiful - pinkish, dark red, greenish, blue. It is only important that the color of the tablecloth is in harmony with the cutlery, napkins and decorations placed on the table.

For the most formal and formal meetings, it is recommended to use a white tablecloth. At these same meetings, linen napkins are placed on the main plate. At social gatherings, the napkin can be placed on a small bread plate or next to the main plate.

When setting the table, customs and rules that have been developed over many years are followed, and their main purpose is not, as many believe, to confuse the process of table decoration with numerous formalities. Compliance with these rules and customs, as practice confirms, allows you to distribute cutlery in the most rational way and give the table an elegant, festive look.

There may, of course, be some deviations from the table setting rules. Nevertheless, the basic rule is strictly observed. All cutlery is placed and placed strictly symmetrically. The center of the table must be precisely defined and highlighted. To do this, place flowers or a beautifully decorated main dish in the middle. All seats at the table should be at an equal distance from one another, and the distribution of cutlery should be balanced.

The dishes are placed on the table in a straight line, slightly away from the edge of the table. The fork to the far left of the plate is for appetizers, the next one, closer to the plate, is for fish dishes, and finally, a fork for meat dishes is placed next to the plate. The soup spoon lies to the right of the plate. To the left of it, in the same order as the forks, are placed, respectively, a knife for appetizers, a knife for fish dishes and a knife for meat dishes. Such a complete table setting is used at official receptions, but when relatives and friends gather, such a number of cutlery is not at all necessary.

Knives are placed with the blade facing the plate, forks with the tip up, and spoons with the bulge down, so that the tines of the fork and the sharp edges of the spoon do not spoil the tablecloth.

You can place a fruit knife, dessert spoon or teaspoon directly behind the plate, parallel to the edge of the table. The butter knife is placed on the bread plate, which is placed on the left side of the main plate. The salt and pepper utensils are also placed on the left side of the plate, but a little closer to the center.

There are probably people among your friends who know how to warmly welcome guests. The doors of their living room are always open for relatives, friends and colleagues, and the atmosphere is so cozy that you don’t want to return home.
If you decide to organize an unforgettable celebration in pleasant company and want to leave a pleasant impression on your guests, it’s not enough to take care of delicious dishes and table settings. You need to carefully prepare, master the etiquette of hospitality and find out what an ideal host should be like.

Getting ready in advance

The first thing you should decide on right away is to choose a good day of the week for the celebration. Saturday is best suited for this, then on Sunday you will have time to clean the house and also relax. In the case where a joint breakfast is planned, the ideal time period is from 10 to 12 o'clock, lunch from 14 to 19 o'clock, and dinner from 18 to 22 o'clock.

Warn your neighbors about the upcoming event. This step will further prevent their dissatisfaction with the noisy feast.

Make a list of all welcome guests in advance. If the upcoming dinner is dedicated to a special event or meeting with significant people, consider having each of them receive a card with an official invitation to visit at least a week in advance. For friends and family, a personal invitation expressed verbally, for example, by telephone, is sufficient.

Before guests arrive, create a cozy atmosphere. Plan everything down to the smallest detail:

  • point perfect order in the house;
  • take care of the comfortable placement of guests: who will sit and where;
  • prepare a place in advance for outerwear and shoes of guests so that other people's things are clean and safe;
  • think over a detailed menu;
  • prepare an entertainment program, background music, and festive lighting.

Remember that you need to get everything done at the appointed time. Family members should look neat and radiate positivity.

Greetings and introductions

Knowing how to greet guests correctly, you will feel at ease and at ease.

  1. When opening the doors, smile at everyone who enters - these are the laws of hospitality.
  2. Pay attention to everyone: help remove outerwear and shoes, offer slippers and show how to get to the living room, toilet or bathroom.
  3. Don’t forget to thank for the gifts, and it’s better to open, examine and appreciate them after receiving guests.
  4. It is customary to immediately place flowers in a vase with water; treats and drinks can be placed on the festive table.
  5. One of the main tasks of a good host is to create a friendly atmosphere between guests and each other, if they are strangers. Etiquette requires that younger people be introduced to elders, and men to women. When introducing a guest to the assembled company, you need to clearly pronounce his name, surname, patronymic, without making mistakes. Other additional information may be added as long as it is relevant, of public interest and truthful. People get great pleasure if they name their profession, which they are proud of, mention their merits or degree of relationship.

Communication with guests

Engaging with society, regulating relationships, and keeping the conversation going in a positive direction are responsibilities assigned exclusively to the owners. To avoid having to drag bored people into the conversation, or, conversely, to calm down heated debaters, seat the invitees next to each other, taking into account their relationships, interests, temperament and age category.

If festive mood is overshadowed by some kind of trouble, you need to try so that no one notices it. Unpleasant and uninteresting topics, health complaints, discussion of someone’s problems are strictly prohibited.

In the presence of gathered friends, relatives and colleagues, the owners of the house should behave as simply and naturally as possible, communicating with everyone on equal terms.

The rules of hospitality require not only to feed everyone who enters the house, but also to entertain. Therefore, after the treat, arrange a small music party with dancing and singing, hold interesting competitions, tests, quizzes, games.

Invitation to the table

Long before the meal, you need to make sure that the table setting is completely completed before the guests arrive, and each of them is provided with a special linen napkin to protect their clothes and hands. You shouldn’t delay the start of the event, waiting tires people, but you shouldn’t rush, so as not to confuse those who are late and avoid negative emotions. According to guest etiquette, guests must arrive within 20-30 minutes.

After everyone has gathered, the head of the house invites everyone to the table. He can serve dishes himself and help serve guests if necessary. His task is to unobtrusively offer a variety of foods and drinks, as well as discreetly collect empty utensils. The elders or those whose plates are empty should be treated to food first.

How to entertain guests

Hospitality etiquette requires preparing a rich entertainment program. Its content depends on many factors, we will mention just a few:

  • who the guests are in relation to the hosts;
  • age, nationality, gender of the majority of those invited;
  • what event is this meeting dedicated to?

For example, in a situation where the invitees are colleagues, the celebration scenario may have a professional slant.

With your family and close friends, you can arrange an evening of pleasant memories, consider joint photos, demonstrate the successes and talents of children, tell jokes or incidents from life, sing karaoke, dance, play musical instruments.

When planning various competitions, competitions, quizzes, prepare funny, amazing prizes for the winners. Don’t forget to record the most interesting moments, and for this you can organize professional photo and video shooting, or ask close friends.

It's time to leave

The ceremony of parting with the guests is an equally significant part of the event. It seems simple, but in fact it also has its own characteristics and requires tact. Sometimes, for example, when an overstaying company is in no hurry to leave, you can say a farewell toast with wishes, politely thanking for the visit and the honor.

Rude hints that it’s too late are unacceptable to everyone, even if they are presented in the form of a joke. It is considered bad form to nervously glance at your watch, demonstratively start cleaning, or wash the dishes. This behavior is contrary to the laws of hospitality. Ideally, it is better to write down time limits on the invitation cards in advance - the beginning of the formal meal and the end.

When the party subsides, escort those who are about to leave to the door and help them get dressed. If time and opportunity permit, organize transportation to the homes of those who arrived on foot or stayed late. Remember that farewell is the final touch of a special event, which determines what impressions your guests will have later.

Receiving guests is a real test for any hostess. Cooking food taking into account the taste preferences of guests, setting the table, cleaning the apartment, coming up with entertaining competitions and entertainment for guests - doing all this is not very easy, especially considering that all these responsibilities fall on only one person - a woman.

However, the list of important things to do does not end there. It is very important not only to feed the guests, but also to greet them according to all the rules. Many ladies will notice: what is all this etiquette for? It may not be necessary, but if you strive for the ideal, think through every detail of the reception, then why not go all the way?

This is especially necessary if you have invited not very close people, for example, your husband’s colleagues. Meeting them in an apron and putting dishes from various sets on the table - such a reception will become real food for discussion among the husband’s colleagues and will spoil his reputation. Let's tell you what rules of hospitality you need to follow so that there are only the most positive reviews about your evening.

  1. Inviting guests. When you invite guests to your event, you must take into account that they will need time to prepare. This is especially true for very big holidays, such as anniversaries or weddings. Guests need time to think about what they will wear and also decide what they will give. It is customary to invite people to big events a month before the special date. Invitations to home parties are made at least a week in advance.
  2. Reception time. The time of your appointment will depend on what part of the day it falls on. If you invite guests to breakfast, then the invitation is valid from 10 to 12 o'clock, lunch can be from 15 to 19 o'clock, and dinner until 22. You are invited to tea from 17 to 19 o'clock.
  3. Complete pair. Inviting a friend to a celebration, but forgetting to invite her boyfriend is bad manners. This affects everyone - husbands of friends, girlfriends of friends, wives of colleagues, etc. Exceptions are generally allowed for certain events, such as bachelorette parties or girls' get-togethers.
  4. Meeting. Right from the door, guests should feel the festive mood. The hostess's smile, her neat appearance And kind words greetings - all this sets a positive mood and helps to relax a guest who does not know the hosts or other invitees very well.
  5. Present. If a guest decides to give you a gift, then accept it with a smile and thank him. Even if you didn’t like the gift, don’t try to show it!
  6. Household preparations. Before guests arrive, be sure to make sure you have enough space for jackets, scarves and hats. Shoe spoons should be placed in a visible place, and clean towels in the bathroom are a must.
  7. Slippers. Many housewives invite guests to wear their slippers. And the problem is that these slippers are usually old. Of course, it is quite possible to offer your old slippers to your close friends, but it is better not to make such offers to less close friends - after all, it is simply not hygienic! If you cannot provide guests with new slippers, then it is better to invite them to leave in their own shoes.
  8. Strangers. If some of your guests don't know each other, then your job is to introduce them as quickly as possible. If none of those present know the guest, then you need to introduce him in front of all the guests.
  9. Seating at a table. At small home gatherings, guests usually choose their own place at the table, but in some cases you can show the guest where to sit. At weddings, anniversaries and other large celebrations, it is customary to place signs on the table indicating the name of the guest. This thoughtful placement in advance will help avoid confusion. In addition, when seating guests, you must take into account that the guest must be seated with the person with whom he is friends or communicates well. For example, you shouldn’t sit a girl at one end of the table and her boyfriend at the other. You yourself must choose a place from which you can see all the guests. You should also be able to get up from the table freely.
  10. Moderation. Remember that you did not invite guests to fatten them. For a cultured person, communication is above all else, and food is just a pleasant addition. So when you're preparing food for the holiday, be sure to keep this in mind. Too fatty and heavy food will not contribute to a pleasant conversation - rather, the thoughts of your guests will be directed in a different direction. Make sure you have some light snacks. Canapes, salad, cold cuts, nuts - such a pleasant aperitif will stimulate your appetite and will not kill the desire to communicate.
  11. Serving. The table must be set when guests arrive. Before preparing the table, be sure to make sure that each guest has a linen napkin to protect their clothes and a napkin (towel) for their hands. You must serve the food, or guests can serve themselves if you provide shared dishes. Only in the case of shared dishes, do not forget to place a cutlery near them so that guests do not take food from them with their cutlery. It is the owners of the house who are given the honor of opening the feast, so approach this with special responsibility. If you delay the start too much, the guests will feel uncomfortable, and if you start the event when not everyone has sat down at the table yet, then unpleasant emotions cannot be avoided.
  12. Food upon request. During a feast, you should not forcefully treat a guest to any dish. “Well, try my pies.” “Why don’t you eat my pickles? You offend! “You eat very little. Don't you like the food? Such questions and lamentations, to put it mildly, are not tactful. In addition, a guest may refuse a certain dish not because it is not tasty, but for some reason. For example, a person is on a diet for health reasons, or he is allergic to some component of the dish, or it just so happens that he recently ate somewhere else. And your questions will force him to justify himself.
  13. Conversation. The task of maintaining a conversation between guests lies with you, since many people at a party feel awkward or constrained, and some simply do not know most of the invitees. You should never complain about how much money you spent buying treats for your guests. Your health, the problems of your relatives and their relationships, troubles at work - these topics are also taboo.
  14. Parting. Farewell to guests is an equally important part of the event. You should not remind guests that they have stayed too long and should have gone home long ago. Also, you should not demonstratively start cleaning to show that the time limit has been exhausted.

Some rules for receiving guests were in use in past centuries. They are still popular today, because the basic concepts good manners still remain unchanged to this day.

The concept of “etiquette” is usually associated with the name of Louis XIV. At royal receptions, which brought together many people of different classes, who sometimes did not know the basic norms of behavior and did not know how to behave at the table, guests were given special cards - etiquette (labels) on which the rules of behavior were inscribed. This is where, in fact, “etiquette” originates, which literally meant “the procedure for reception and the rules of courtesy at palace ceremonies.” Later it began to be interpreted as “an order of behavior and compliance with the norms and rules of courtesy accepted in society.”

If we turn to the Big Encyclopedic Dictionary, we will find the following definition: “Etiquette is an established procedure for behavior somewhere.” In the generally accepted understanding, these are rules of good manners that allow people of different social levels to communicate with dignity.

Ethical standards are based on the principle known as “ golden rule morality,” which, just like many centuries ago, presupposes: “Do with people the way you want them to do with you.” Modern society identified several principles that constitute the basis of ethical behavior.

Rules for receiving guests.

The main rule of receiving guests is the ability to build an action, that is, think through an activity for them, think about when and how to seat them at the table, what kind of treats to offer and in what order to serve them, how to organize communication and movement of guests, how to regulate their behavior and so on, and so on, and so on.

Inviting guests

– First you need to determine the circle of those you want to see at your celebration.

– It is necessary to invite people in advance, preferably 5-7 days in advance, while indicating the exact date and time of the reception. Avoid approximate expressions, such as “Come around lunchtime...” or “Come around six o’clock...”.

– If someone has ignored your invitations more than twice, don’t bother them anymore.

Arrival of guests

– If you cannot make a visit, it is advisable to inform the day before.

– It is acceptable to refuse an invitation 3-5 hours before the visit, but only if there is an unforeseen or extraordinary situation.

– It is not acceptable to be late by more than 10-15 minutes.

– If you understand that being late is inevitable, try to warn the hosts about it.

– It’s not customary to come to visit every minute; it’s better to walk around the house for a while.

– According to the rules of etiquette, all guests must gather within thirty minutes of the pre-announced time. After this, the hosts can begin the reception.

Guest introduction

– The host or hostess of the house should greet guests. They help you undress and show you the bathroom and toilet.

– The hosts introduce each new guest to the assembled participants of the celebration and then introduce them to each other (or those present introduce themselves).

– If there are only a few guests, you can introduce everyone separately. As a rule, the hostess introduces the women to each other, and the owner introduces the men, and only after that the men are introduced to the women.

– If you need to introduce peers and people of equal status, it is better to introduce the person closest to you first, for example your sister or brother.

– In the case when your evening is widely attended famous person, there is no need to mention his last name - it is assumed that everyone knows him.

– The closest relatives (wife, daughter, son) are introduced as “My wife/husband”, “My daughter/son”.

– When meeting the hosts’ mother or father, it is customary to first introduce guests to their parents, and not vice versa.

– When introducing friends, some clarifications are possible: “Nikolai is my best friend", "Olga - best friend my wife."

– When introducing the next guest, you should clearly pronounce his last name and first name.

– When introducing guests, it is advisable to avoid incorrect accents in their first and last names.

– If you do not remember the last name of the person you are introducing, it is possible to use an impersonal address: “Please meet me...”.

– If one of the guests arrives when everyone is already sitting at the table, the owner should introduce him to everyone at once and seat him in an empty seat.

- The latecomer himself gets acquainted with his closest neighbors at the table.

Seating of guests

– The owners are obliged to take care of this in advance. You need to remember the following:

1. It is advisable to seat guests according to common interests, if any;

2. Married couples, with the exception of newlyweds, are not recommended to sit together;

3. The host and hostess sit opposite each other.

– To organize the seating of guests, small cards (so-called couvert cards) indicating names are used; they are leaned against water glasses or placed on special stands.

– All guests are seated at the same time, and the men are sure to help the ladies take their seats.

Hosting the evening

In the Georgian language there is such a word as “tamadoba” - manager or elder during a feast or revels. Russian popular culture happily accepted, albeit somewhat distorting, the ritual of the feast, and called anyone who takes on the functions of a feast manager a toastmaster.

Modern etiquette provides options for choosing the manager (toastmaster) leading a party or feast. The toastmaster sets the tone of the evening, regulates the order of toasts, smooths out awkward situations that sometimes arise, fills long pauses with jokes, determines breaks in the meal, in a word, manages the fun. The toastmaster is the best friend of the family, but more often the master of the house.

The norm of behavior at the table can be reduced to several rules:

– do not talk too loudly with your closest neighbors;

– do not wave your arms;

– do not reach for a dish located on the opposite side of the table (you can ask your neighbors to pass it to you);

– do not force anyone to drink to the bottom.

Seeing off guests

– If it is customary to invite guests for a certain time, then it is absolutely not customary to set a time when the guests must leave.

– It is highly desirable for the hosts that the guests do not leave alone.

– If guests leave together, the hosts can calmly accompany them to the parking lot or to the public transport stop.

– When one of the guests needs to leave early, it is better to do it “in English”, that is, without saying goodbye, without attracting the attention of those present. However, the hosts must be informed of their desire to leave the reception.

– If a lady who comes to an evening without a man asks one of the stronger sex to accompany her, he is obliged to help her as much as possible. It is possible that the man himself will ask permission to accompany the lady. It is also acceptable for the owner of the house to ask one of the guests to escort the lady.

Guests must leave on time, depending on the nature of the holiday. If you were invited to “come in in the evening,” then you can leave around 10-11 p.m. At a wedding or New Year's Eve party, you can have fun until the morning. On other holidays it usually takes no later than 24 hours.

The elderly are the first to leave. When saying goodbye, guests and hosts thank each other for the pleasure they provided. The host escorts each guest to the door, and the hostess remains with the other guests in the room. The owner does not open the door for the guest, otherwise it may seem that he wants to get rid of him rather. The guest does this himself. If necessary, then the owner helps open the front door.

The last duty of the guest is to ask for a return visit at the first suitable opportunity. And those who cannot receive guests at home can thank for the hospitality provided by inviting them to the theater, to a concert, to a cafe or restaurant, etc.
Go to visit, communicate, but do not forget the rules of communication, and then you will be invited to visit more often, and you will be welcome in any home.

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