Love in adulthood. Love and relationships in adulthood. There is a scientific explanation for this story.

13.11.2018

The advantage of love in adulthood is that each partner knows well what he wants and what he has to offer.

at first glance, it is no different from a relationship in any other period of life. But for those who are experiencing it, this is the culmination of life, a new meeting with their soul mate.

The most interesting thing is that she comes when no one is waiting for her. Many people at this age have behind them the collapse of their previous relationships, and often people come to the decision to “close their hearts with a lock” so as not to suffer anymore.

But a chance meeting, a casual conversation, a cup of coffee gradually connect two worlds, two universes.

We propose to dive into this topic today and talk about mature love.

Mature love: more calm, more wisdom

Let us first note one important aspect: it means several decades of past years.

However, the maturity of soul, mind and heart determine not the years lived, but the experience gained, the ability to think soberly and make wise decisions.

Some people in their sixties behave with the irresponsibility and immaturity of a teenager. Others enter adulthood with a sense of inner balance. They accept whatever they have done and take responsibility for it.

They look to the future with confidence, optimism, and there is much more to do and experience.

Two souls, each with its own experience

We have all experienced, appreciated and lost a lot. When starting new ones, we should not forget everything we have experienced before, delete from life all the connections that we had in the past.

Memory does not forget, memory transforms and integrates.

Therefore, love in adulthood is often expressed in relationships characterized by completeness and sophistication. Partners accept all of their past, this helps them understand what they want in the present and what they are not going to tolerate.

Both partners have experienced their triumphs and ups, losses and disappointments in the past. They came to understand that partners should not agree on everything with each other, but should respect differences.
Each partner has his own "baggage", his own history, and it is better not to "hide" them, but to discuss with frankness people who understand each other and respect the partner's past.

Enjoy the present in its entirety

Even if they are not 20 years old, they do not strive to return their youth. People who met their happiness in adulthood, know and understand what it is the best time their lives, they are not nostalgic for the past and do not fear the future.

It is wonderful to enjoy the present when there is love, which illuminates everything around, which gives fullness of feelings and experiences.
We seem to have found what we have always dreamed of, and therefore we live full life, "Here and now". And all this, of course, enhances ours.

Love according to our size

When maturity comes, we have several "cycles" behind us: we were married (married), got divorced, raised children ... After going through all this, we already know well what we want.

Age and experience also give more peace of mind, we are easier to relate to different "little things in life." Everything we have experienced in one way or another tempers us, which gives additional benefits to relationships in adulthood.

Eternal youth is expressed in the ability to love

The youthfulness of the soul and heart must be constantly maintained; for this it is important to love ourselves.

If we find love in adulthood this "injection" will fill our life with new meaning, passion, desires, projects and amazing emotions.
Love has no age, no race, no color. The image of two lovers who begin their journey through life together is universal.

We all have this magic "switch" (or rather, "switch"), called passion and love.

This is a magical thing that we meet by chance and worth fighting for every day.

Is it dangerous to fall in love in adulthood? What is it fraught with? What good will it do?

Feelings do not have age, so inYou can love both at the age of 10 and at 50. And what is love like in adulthood: is it the same feeling as in youth, or is there a difference? What dangers lie in wait for people who suddenly fell in love? And what is the difference between love, ripe with a ripe berry, from young love, like a spring flower?

Still dangerous for men, I, a woman of "Balzac's age"?

As long as children live with us, we, especially women, do not feel separate from them and do not feel lonely. But time is steadily moving forward, children grow up, and we begin to notice: they already have, in fact, their own lives. And when our children leave us, then along with the feeling of freedom comes the feeling of loneliness.

Often in adulthood, women who have remained single are already in this status. Of course, for the most part they are not against meeting a decent man, it just becomes unrealistic to find your soul mate. In this age group the circle of search for a partner is very small.

But still, for active people who need to feel not a state of calm, but emotions, in order to feel that they are living, it is necessary to make efforts in this direction. And then something will definitely work out, but what - maybe good, or maybe not very good, life will show.

Love is a push, not an old age dream

In the so-called maturity, a person has seen everything in his life, as they say, made a fortune. Therefore, there is no longer that sharpness or that excitement to embark on adventures. Does age affect? Maybe yes, only around us there are extinct young people, and there are old people with burning eyes.

When a mature person has enough energy for several young people, it is very possible for such people to fall in love at this age, however, like in any other. After all, none of us knows when this metamorphosis called love will happen. And when this happens, what age is there - this nuclear reactor will still give heat!

If you love more than in youth

In youth, passion replaces love for us, it makes our head spin, we close our eyes to many things, little things are not noticed. We just float on the waves of surging feelings.

In adulthood, we look at everything more calmly, wiser, more rationally. From the height of years, everything is seen more clearly, it is understood, because of what stupid mistakes were made in youth.

People after 40 years of age today are able-bodied and active men and women. And they love, no different from young people, just with acquired experience, wisdom, restraint and secrecy. But it was not their feelings that were dulled, they just changed their life path.

During this period of life, we accept a loved one with all his problems and shortcomings - there is tolerance that was absent in youth. Only with age comes the realization that in love you need to be able to forgive.

Love of a hooligan in love gives passion

New love at this interesting age returns to a person the feeling of youth: he seems to soar in the sky and the world around him sees in bright colors. Everything around becomes more beautiful, and a feeling of joy lives in the soul. I would like to forget about what I have lived through, constantly be close to my loved one, and walk hand in hand through life together.

There is a desire to start life anew in order to leave loneliness and negative experience behind, to get a relationship at an old age. But still, in addition to feeling, mature people need confidence in a partner, they want to have some kind of guarantee of the reliability of the relationship.

Based on the years they have lived, they realize that in addition to joy, there are certain obligations for a relationship in a couple. To maintain love requires mutual respect andthe ability to find compromises. Perhaps that is why middle-aged people rarely dare to look for a couple, because they understand that to love means to share both sadness and joy.

And this is in old age!

And if two mature people decide to join their lives, then later marriages are more stable. Because people assess their partner soberly, know themselves better and can imagine their own reactions to some actions. In adulthood, there is a motivation specifically to create a family.

And this means supporting each other in difficult minutes, help in grief and illness. And even, no matter how sad it is to mention it, to observe how a person leaves life, gradually fading away.

Fear of love and relationships in adulthood also arises in cases where the chosen one has minor children. After all, when joining such an alliance, you will have to take responsibility for them.

Mature love and the reasons for its formation. The article provides recommendations for preserving the feelings that have appeared in a couple with rich life experience. It also contains advice on maintaining trusting relationships with relatives after the event.

The content of the article:

Mature love is something that can bring a skeptical smile to the younger generation. However, the fact remains that this phenomenon is quite common among older people. It is necessary to understand this issue in order to have a clearer picture of the relationship when two experienced people met and fell in love with each other.

The mechanism for the development of relationships between mature people

Life does not stop at one place, so lonely hearts try to find their soul mate at any age. If mature people have noticed each other, then the scenario of their relationship usually develops as follows:

Feeling lonely... This imbalance in the soul has a fairly broad interpretation, because you can feel emptiness inside yourself and with your partner. In the event of a need for a new relationship, a mature person begins to look for a soul mate that would suit him in all respects.
Fateful acquaintance... This can happen either accidentally or as a result of purposeful actions. In adulthood, not only the external attractiveness of a possible chosen one is already being considered, but also his spiritual qualities.
Search for common interests... If a person has at least some life experience, then he will try to find a partner who will understand him. The exception is mature ladies who try to appear more spectacular at the expense of a younger lover.
Pairing... If people at a respectable age understand that they are suitable for each other, then this can be the beginning Serious relationships... In the time of youth, this process occurs much faster, but the result is also very predictable.
Development of a relationship... Love is a feeling that constantly requires a certain emotional recharge. Feelings of mature people usually lead to the creation of a full-fledged family, because at this age passion goes hand in hand with reason.

Basic prerequisites for the formation of a mature couple

Nothing happens just like that, because we ourselves coordinate our actions. Fate is a serious thing, but even it sometimes needs some adjustment. Psychologists believe that love in adulthood can arise for the following reasons:

Common interests... Nothing unites experienced people like the opportunity to spend their leisure time together. If both partners like to do the same thing in their free time, then there is a high probability that their couple will develop. They will not have a desire to spend time separately, which often destroys even the strongest feelings.
Similar views on life... The presence of common orientations in life is an excellent factor in the emergence of mutual feelings. Two souls must sing in unison to form a strong and stable couple.
Contrast with previous relationships... Over time, we all begin to learn from our mistakes, because life tends to teach rather tough lessons. If a person in adulthood has once become a victim of a domestic tyrant, then he will begin to look for a quiet and balanced partner. They do not look for good from good, therefore they leave those who really poisoned the life of their soul mate.
Fatigue from a free life... In this case, we will focus on inveterate bachelors and selfless feminists. Youth gives us a huge potential of vitality, which is sometimes wasted in the wrong direction. Tired of loneliness or temporary connections, a person in adulthood can look at reality in a completely different way. Having changed the previous way of life, he will be able to see the person whom fate presented to him at the end of his life.
Finding your ideal... We are all looking for something that would completely suit our tastes and preferences. You can search for that one all your life, but you can find it already in adulthood. This happens instantly, when a person no longer expects anything from this life. Love breaks out instantly, which ultimately leads to the creation of a stable couple.
Similar type... We all someday lose our close people who were very dear to us. A loved one in the past could go to another partner or just leave this world. After a long depression, a mature person is able to meet someone who is very similar in all respects to a lost lover.

Feelings in old age have quite serious reasons for their formation. Passion often cloudes the brains of younger people, which is considered quite natural. Consequently, a pair of mature partners has a great chance of a happy joint future.

Signs of sympathy between mature people

If we are talking about young people, then mutual vibes are immediately visible due to the simmering passions in front of everyone. The love of mature people is somewhat different from that described, so it looks like this:

Significant smiles... If you like a person, then when communicating with him you want to constantly show your feelings. At the same time, the difference between a friendly disposition and a clear manifestation of sympathy between two people of age is immediately noticeable. At the same time, those around them understand everything, and loving hearts begin to draw closer and closer to each other.
Desire for frequent meetings... After the obvious signs of attention, the second phase of a mature relationship begins, in which people who are interested in each other begin to want to continue their acquaintance. They are more and more actively calling back and looking for a reason for the next meeting.
Lengthy conversations... After spending leisure time together, the most interesting period of mature relationships begins in the form of intimate conversations. Older people have something to tell each other, because their life experience is rich in all sorts of events, stories, and there is plenty of time for this.
Familiarity with the family... It is a well-known fact that if a mature person is ready to introduce his chosen one to his family, then this is evidence of the beginning of a serious relationship in the formed couple. Rarely is there a person who does not have loved ones, so you will still have to introduce a partner you like to your close circle.

How to find love in adulthood

Some people will find the problem voiced strange, because public opinion says that love itself will come with time. All this is true, but basically a person forges his own happiness. If the years pass by inexorably, then it's time to think about finding a soul mate.

This can be done by resorting to the following methods of solving the problem in your personal life:

Interest club... A mature person at a youth party will look a little strange if he hasn't organized it himself. Nightclubs are also good exclusively for young people who are capable of falling in love, quarreling and reconciling at such a late time. An older person is more suitable entertainment event where his peers gather. Such organizations create a large number of couples when mature people find a soul mate. Leah Akhedzhakova's club in the movie "Moscow Does Not Believe in Tears", where many aged people found their happiness, can serve as an optimistic example of this.
Marriage Agency... Young people rarely resort to the services of this organization, unless it is about an alleged marriage with a foreign partner. A person of age will not be ashamed to seek help from professional matchmakers who will help you choose a suitable candidate for a client. In a personal meeting, the customer himself will decide for himself the expediency of continuing the relationship, but often the choice hits the bull's eye.
Online acquaintance... Not only young men and women explore the vastness of the World Wide Web, but also older people enjoy visiting all kinds of sites. The Internet is good because it allows everyone to communicate, regardless of where the interlocutor lives. Consequently, a mature person has a great chance to get acquainted with a person of interest to him, which in the future can cause him love for the chosen one.
Help from friends... In this case, I recall the wonderful film "For Family Circumstances", in which a stable pair of mature people was formed through mutual friends. It is worth thinking about the fact that maybe in the immediate environment there is a person who is able to organize a meeting of two lonely hearts. In most cases, the initiative brings a positive result in the form of a union of like-minded people.
Attending events... Exhibitions, theater, auctions - all this is a real opportunity to find a person from whom the heart will light up and the soul will sing. In such places, you can find your soul mate even in adulthood, because, as already mentioned, common interests unite.

There are quite a few ways to solve the problem of personal life even in adulthood. Therefore, one should not despair and suffer alone in complete confidence that happiness is impossible. You need to act, because time is running out, and you need to take care of yourself in terms of a happy old age next to your loved one.

Ways to preserve feelings in the resulting couple

It is possible to create a couple in adulthood, but it is important to maintain warmth and mutual respect for each other in her. It is sometimes not easy to do this, because both partners brought the baggage of their past mistakes into the new relationship. However, nothing is impossible in the world, so you should use the chance given by fate for happiness.

Grinding options between mature people

It would be erroneous to think that quarrels at the initial stage of a relationship concern only young and inexperienced couples. Elderly people also create a wall of alienation between themselves, which will help to eliminate the following tips:

Acceptance of the past chosen one... Not everyone is able to take such a courageous act, but without it, it will be almost impossible to keep the created couple. Everyone has their own life story, which is not always a rosy picture. Therefore, mature people should understand that, letting new love into their lives, they must accept the partner's past as well.
Compromise... We all have a certain temperament and have our own formed model of behavior. In this case, you should think about the fact that your loved one needs to do some indulgences. At the same time, no one talks about permissiveness, but you still have to make some concessions in relation to your mature partner in order to preserve feelings.
Learning from your mistakes... Sometimes we repeat the same actions, which bring a lot of problems later on. At informed relationships in adulthood, it is worth starting a preliminary analysis of your actions. It is worth asking yourself questions before the answers come in the form of a break in the relationship.

Lapping is an important step in any relationship. Therefore, you need to take a responsible attitude to this phase of the formed union. Losing is easy, but unreasonable at an age when fate can give one last chance for happiness.

Communication with children from previous relationships in a mature couple

The commonplace phrase that children are our future still has a right to exist. When choosing a new partner for living together overlook this fact. It is necessary to establish contact with the offspring of the chosen one, which is best organized as follows:

Unobtrusiveness... There is nothing worse than such actions when a new family member begins to pester even grown-up children with his attention. Everything must be done in a balanced manner and with a wise approach to the problem voiced. The stone wears away the water, so a person with a certain amount of experience will act in this way.
Positive example method... The children of a loved one need to see that their parent is in good hands. In this case, a lot of problems can arise, because jealousy will be present in the situation that has arisen. Time will put everything in its place, but it is still necessary to make it clear to the children of the beloved about the seriousness of the relationship with him.
Tact... This aspect is very close to the concept of unobtrusiveness, but these two factors have slightly different meanings. You can destroy everything with one sharp word addressed to the child of the chosen one, because the parent usually always stands up to protect his children. It does not matter how old the third subject of late relationships is, because only aggression will be the result of admitted tactlessness.

Important! To accept stranger family is always difficult, because it often entails a lot of negativity. Therefore, it is necessary to coordinate your actions in such a way that everyone is happy with the result of a mature relationship.

Maintaining Sexual Attractiveness in a Mature Couple

This problem is much less common among young partners. At a more respectable age, it is necessary to take this issue more seriously. The following expert advice will help to save the feelings that have arisen in such an alliance:

Love for your body... In intimate relationships, the external data of the partner play an important role. It cannot be argued that this factor exclusively affects the quality of sexual life. However, a toned figure has not hurt anyone, because she is able to attract the attention of the opposite sex. If fixing external defects is very problematic, then you just need to love yourself as you are. After all, the chosen one at one time appreciated the future object of passion, highlighting him among other applicants. This means that not everything is so bad, and it is not worth collecting complexes at home.
Personal care... There is an expression that a man loves with his eyes and a woman with her ears. Psychologists are ready to argue with this statement, because identical people no. Successful style, exquisite perfume, well-groomed body will always attract the attention of the chosen one. He will no longer pay attention to the network of wrinkles on the face and the skin, which has begun to lose elasticity.
Refusal to have sex if you don't want to... There is nothing worse than a forced intimate relationship. We do not always feel good, both physically and mentally. Therefore, the partner needs to tactfully say that he is very loved, but at the moment, sex simply will not bring any pleasure to both. However, at the same time, numerous anecdotes are recalled about headaches as a reason for refusing intimate relationships. You should not abuse this, because the chosen one can begin to look to the side with interest.
Role-playing games... Some people put a slightly different meaning in this concept, which has a rather broad meaning. You must always be interesting to your partner, and age does not matter here. The playfulness of mature people in public looks more than strange. However, when the bedroom doors close behind a couple, there can be no prohibitions.

What is love in adulthood - look at the video:

Mature love and relationships in it are a model of wisdom that is multiplied by experience. The period of youthful impulses and mistakes has passed, therefore it is very important to preserve the long-awaited happiness acquired at a respectable age.

For some reason, it is believed that true love mostly happens at a young age, because there are no poems or songs about late love. Maybe falling in love at 60 is indecent? And if this happens to someone, then only with those who are "mad with fat"? Psychologist Arina Krupenina categorically disagrees with this assumption and, to prove her point, gives convincing arguments: love is possible at any age. Another question is that in later life she is most often unhappy.

"Empty Nest"

When children-students leave to study and then work, the spouses are faced with the question of how to fill the resulting void.

If they have in common, the period of restructuring of life ends for the family without loss. But if they were together only for the sake of the children, an impulse arises: the task is completed, you can be free. And then late love comes in.

The flip side of this coin is a problem. In adulthood, the question of who to be with - with new love or with a spouse, it is especially acute. Affected by constancy in habits and in everyday life, unwillingness to lose or share the material wealth acquired together. Both the spouse, for whom this marriage remains the last hope, and the children are under pressure.

As a result, a person returns to the family, acutely worried about both the need to be with the unloved until the end of his days.

The path is clear

It would seem, what prevents people who have long been divorced or widowed to fall in love?

But some refuse the very idea of love, motivating: "Why do I need problems in my old age?" Others say: “A person like mine ex-husband or wife, I will not meet again! "

Late love comes only to those who are not traumatized by marriage and do not idealize the past partner.

However, this is often not love, but a convenient union of two people. You can often observe mature, newly created couples: a man who is used to being, and a woman who does not tolerate loneliness. There are pleasant exceptions, though.

Cure for old age

Late maturity and old age is the time when a person analyzes his own place in life and sums up its results. Recognizing the inevitability of death, he subconsciously tries to distance himself from the horror associated with it. Sex acquires a special, almost mystical significance in this process. Sexual attraction at this age is not at all nonsense, but a sure way to physically and keep the spirit young. It provides perspectives for the future, filling life with meaning.

Thus, love that comes to a person in maturity is perceived not only as late, but also as the last. That is why you so want to preserve it, take care of it and take care of it, treating it with care, like a flower.

If you are still, and your parents or even grandparents are worried this feeling, be delicate and do not trample the tender sprout.