Cool statuses on January 1
Whatever they come up with! Good morning – and mornings are different for everyone today... when you wake up- then the morning...
Noted New Year Great! Today it is impossible to look at three things: tangerines, chocolate, alcohol...)))
On New Year's I wanted to make people positive emotions, but caused panic, prostitutes, police and Satan. Cool, right?)))
The body is sleeping, it is tired, because it was drinking yesterday. The brain also has no time for the body; its departments are quietly sleeping. The irrevocable tongue sleeps, but yesterday it was carefree, it spoke nonsense skillfully, but by morning everything was numb. And the stomach sleeps tired, only the ulcers were missing. Only the liver can’t sleep - you had to get so drunk!
Sucks? Does your head hurt? Nothing helps? Go to the nearest shopping mall and take 2 liters of cola. KANAET!)))
The New Year celebration was a success; the carefree faces of passers-by can be seen lying here and there.
New Year holidays are like a renovation: the end result is very different from the original plan.
After the New Year, our dog cannot get out of sores and bandages... Santa Claus brought a young doctor's kit to the child. I'm scared that it will get to me...
Going to work after New Year holidays It’s like a reunion of classmates after many years: everyone has gained a little weight and are very happy to meet each other. And most importantly, everyone has something to tell!
New Year's holidays have an inexplicable tendency to end quickly.
For normal people, the New Year celebration ends on the day when the last needle falls from the Christmas tree gathering dust in the corner.
If you wake up and feel with your whole body that you somehow celebrated the New Year incorrectly, then the meeting needs to be repeated.
Dear Grandfather Frost, take back all your gifts, in return, erase my memory of the entire New Year's Eve. And, if you have time, take away the feeling of shame.)))
From the explanatory note: “I didn’t come to work on January 2 because I thought I came...”
Having learned my innermost desires, Santa Claus decided to come in person... he left me at five in the evening on the third of January, and only because his wife came for him.)))
New Year's sign: if a week after the holiday the guests still do not leave, it means they are the owners...
Darling, why is our house a mess, why are the dishes dirty? Are you sick? -Nope! Today we have a holiday again... FUCK!)))
My friends and I were getting ready to celebrate the New Year and met it absolutely “ready.”
I tried to remember what I did on New Year's Eve... but I couldn't... and just in case I didn't get down from the tree...
It had to happen. And it finally happened - the New Year's food in the refrigerator ran out.
The New Year has passed, now it’s summer for me, please!)))
I decided to start the year... with a clean slate! I went and wrote a statement against myself... to the police... there they laughed at me and said that... sins are forgiven... in another place...
Look back at this last year. How much have you been through? How many people have come and gone. How many loved ones have you stopped communicating with?
Well, here our New one has begun. The countdown is on! Good luck to everyone at the start and to the finish!
There are... 365 days left until the New Year!
If you woke up next to the Snow Maiden in the morning, it means that the New Year definitely came yesterday!
If you wake up under a decorated Christmas tree, and the Snow Maiden is snoring next to you, then it’s most likely New Year’s morning.
I was waiting for so much: the smell of tangerines, a Christmas tree and sweet gifts, and I’m still waiting for you to tell me just three words: “I love you!”
Or maybe the tree will go away on its own?
Cool statuses about fun and celebration
IN from the paradox: if after the holiday there are no photos worth seeing, then you should have seen the holiday!!
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ABOUT Holidays should be celebrated in such a way that you feel ashamed... for not celebrating this way before)
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E There IS such a stage of intoxication when everyone thinks that he dances VERY GREAT!!! ...
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IN That's the end of the holidays, well done to those who didn't get drunk!!!
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D little girls, my husband left, the children are with their grandmother... Where I live - you know what and how much to take - in the know! I am waiting!
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I hellishly funny, damn smart, drop-dead beautiful and incredibly HUMBLE!
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D The girls danced, drank, had fun...
The boys paid, got angry, cursed...
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E If the stars light up, light up with them!
L People who know how to have fun don’t have money, and people who have money don’t know how to have fun.
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P A holiday without vodka is like a passport without a photo!!!
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ABOUT While navigating through life, the main thing is not to tear yourself away from life...
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E If there is an infection in the world that a person is not afraid of, then this is contagious fun.
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U smile your smile)
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E If I was drunk and don’t remember something, THAT MEANS IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!
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TO Everyone has fun to the best of their mental abilities.
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IN As a child, I wanted to become a Firefighter.
But fate mixed something up, and now I’m not putting out, I’m LIT!!! ...
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Sh whether New Year's Eve from the guests. The brother, seeing that several windows in his school were glowing, said: “Evil does not sleep!”
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WITH advice to girls!!! Got drunk... eat your SIM card!!!
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IN The good thing about the party is that the guests leave on time. The Americans go home, the Russians go for new supplies of alcohol.
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IN There was a party yesterday... The guests left quite quickly... And in earnest...
L with a walking gait, I went out for vodka
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N mood elevated... by 40°
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U students have two holidays: New Year and every day!
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B I won’t host a party at my house anymore! Before my husband arrives, we need to remember:
Who did you give the fishing rod to?
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WITH This evening there was everything - beer, chips, grapes, fish, persimmons, nuts, and then mead...
I can imagine how scared those who live under the toilet rim will be tomorrow!!!
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TO grow your cunning eyes -
And let's go have fun:
People like masks
And their faces are disgusting.
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B Lin, my friend and I were evicted from the hotel yesterday! And not because we sang loudly, but because... by the fire!!!
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U sleeping under the Christmas tree is not a shame! It's a shame to fall asleep in a round dance...
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N I’ll put on a T-shirt of cheerfulness and shorts of good luck, I’ll go have fun - good luck greets me!
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TO No matter how serious life is, you always need someone with whom you can fool around.
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WITH Tell me, what is a glamorous party? - Well, this is when there are many, many people, Everyone’s shirts are wrinkled, their jeans are torn and everything on their heads is in different directions. - I told you, yesterday we were at a glamorous party, and you were sobering up, sobering up...
As a child, everything seems created for a holiday, you can even make confetti with a hole punch...
Simulator real life with the possibility of creating a virtual family can be compared to playing mother and daughter... How nice it is to periodically fall into childhood...
Johnson's Baby doesn't sting his eyes... He's just a maniac who runs after children and washes their hair, absolutely without tears...
Since visiting kindergarten, I have erotic memories when, instead of cleaning up toys, my classmate and I looked at more interesting things... in each other’s underwear... It’s still funny...
Best status:
In distant childhood, when I was just a baby, my mother, while bathing me in the bathtub, managed to make me incredible headdresses with shampoo foam... Oh, and sweet memories...
Up to 75 summer anniversary I liked receiving a drum as a birthday present... On the eve of the next celebration, I started thinking... why do I need so many drums? Maybe this time I'll ask for a trombone...
I admire children’s cheerful eyes, listen to mischievous laughter and somehow live more fun, I am filled with positivity from their smiles...
I don’t argue, some parents call their children unusual nicknames, so that dad writes down your phone number as “give me for shopping”...
The most terrible words of childhood: I won’t be friends with you anymore!!!
Smile! This annoys everyone.
It's better for a man to step on a big rake twice than on a baby rake once.
The mouth of a small baby speaks only the truth!
Childhood passes right through... where are my adult toys? Guys, answer me!
Undressing a sleeping baby is like defusing a bomb; one sudden movement means minus 3 hours of sleep.
If people constantly laugh at you, it means you bring joy to people.
Child condoms have been released in Switzerland.
Children are cool, especially children on social media. networks!
Children's problems often seem like nonsense to adults... but in reality everything is different.
And as a child, I dreamed that everything would be colorful and positive, there would be no gray houses and asphalts.
As a child, I often had the thought that if I was left alone in the whole city, I would go shopping and buy myself a mountain of sweets, chips and ice cream, all for free. What naive childish thoughts...
I want to play all day, eat candy, drink lemonade... I want to go back to my carefree childhood.
Judging by the fact that as a child I wrapped myself in a blanket, writhing in panic, crawled all over the room, and imagined that I was a worm, then I have had mental disorders since an early age...
I was sorting out my children's things and came across a will that I wrote when I was 6 years old: I give my room to the cat, toys to mom and dad, a bicycle to Grandma Masha, and a yellow shovel to Grishenka Vasichkina, GRISHA, I REALLY LOVE YOU.
She was tired of excessive attention, Hated indifference, Loved the warmth of breathing. She looked like an adult, but her dreams were childish..
Children's orbit - the taste of childhood...
I feel like Cinderella: if I don’t come home before 12, I’ll get a pumpkin.
As a child, in kindergarten No. 44, children spelled out the word with lumps of semolina porridge: X V A T I T!!!
I was jumping into hopscotch with the kids in the yard today. Ha, what a thrill.)
My mother probably told everyone in childhood: “I’ll buy it for you now, but it’s for your birthday!”
I was afraid to have children after my parents promised to tell them all my childhood mistakes)))
I'm smart because I'm very modest and that's why I'm so beautiful!
I’m standing with my little brother at the checkout in a supermarket with sanitary pads, and he tells me: “This is so you don’t sleep at night, right? Maybe you can buy it for me too? I’m too lazy to get up at night.” The whole line was laughing.
childhood fears - if you step on cracks in the asphalt, an accident will happen.
At the zoo: Mom, is this a monkey already? -No, this is still the cashier...
I wanted to go to kindergarten, not to an orphanage.
As a child, when I listened to “A Million Scarlet Roses,” I couldn’t figure out who “Alykhros” was.
I’m communicating with a guy in Ace, I’m writing like I found some cool sneakers, they’re in children’s sizes ((, he told me: Why are you emo???, fuck yeah xD
And as a child, I liked it when my cat twirled his butt while hunting... I just remembered...)
Petya pinched Marina in a geography lesson for a very interesting region and received a punch in his autonomous region.
Children's eyes at the bottom will not see the clouds... but I see... that means I live...
Lord, please make sure all the calories go to your boobs...
I’ll grow up, become beautiful and won’t give it to anyone!
Why are children's lollipops twisted so that even 20-year-olds can't open them?...
(children's tights)…we were taught from childhood that 2 stripes are an ass!
The children were getting ready for school: they shaved, washed, got hungover...
A gentle face, every feature, a snub-nosed sniffling... Money, career - all this unimportant, important - sleeps nearby. ?
Each child should be applied to his own standard, encouraged to his own responsibility, and rewarded with his own deserved praise. It is not success, but effort that deserves reward.
Children are interested in the question: where does everything come from? Adults - where does it all go?
And remember girls, a good frying pan is the basis of your family happiness!
God loves the Trinity... Holy Trinity- this is love for the woman you love, your own children, as well as your parents...
You know, you want to live like they won’t write in the newspaper. Take it and give it all away. Live for children to remember!
Children are capable of experiencing strong feelings, but are not able to understand them. And even if they understand it partially, they don’t know how to talk about it.
If a boy loves work, the boy’s name is “Dzhamshut”!
When the child has grown up, it is time for parents to learn to stand on their own two feet. Frances Hope
If you want your children to celebrate the New Year at home, go visit.
It's good when you're 4 years old. You can take the broken remote control and call your mom...
In my childhood, my friends were not online, but in the yard.
Is this heaven? -No, this is childhood, baby...
The most expensive necklace on a woman’s neck is the arms of a child hugging her!
The child, stroking the cat’s face, playfully says: “Musenka, you know, in the human world, women with mustaches are not very valued!”
The charm of children lies in the fact that with each child everything is renewed and the world is presented anew to human judgment.
The boy did not speak until he was five years old. And suddenly at breakfast he says: “Why didn’t they put sugar in my tea?” Delighted parents: - Why were you silent before? - And before they always did.
Oh, boys, I'm so drunk, just like you need!
He was never his mother's favorite - and he was the only child in the family. Thomas Berger
Every girl has that boy, when you go to whose page you think, “God forbid, some sheep wrote something to him there.”
A child is a rational being; he knows well the needs, difficulties and obstacles of his life.
You ask where I would like to go forever? You know, on page 14 of his passport.
Previously, they bought Pochemuchka for children so that they would not bother them with questions, now children are taught to use Yandex
In a family, children and dogs always know everything, especially what is not talked about. (Françoise Dolto)
Have you noticed how children meet and say goodbye? They meet for the first time as if they have known each other forever, they say goodbye forever as if until tomorrow.
A child gives birth to parents. (Stanislav Jerzy Lei)
Think before you do something bad. You have a child behind you who thinks you are his hero!
Good girls understand geographical maps, bad girls understand playing maps, smart girls understand credit cards)
Smile - and he will smile back.
I want to go back to my childhood... there were leaves there that were money...
Look what a boy! I went to meet you! – Sit down, drunk idiot, this is your ex)
No matter how much you teach children good manners, they are still naturally inclined to imitate their parents.
A child of sincere love will be born not because of anything, but in spite of everything!
STUDENT = Sleepy Theoretically Smart Child Naturally Not Wanting to Work.
Childhood blows taught me how to defend myself in the future.
Children need the New Year for a fairy tale, losers - as a starting point new hope and the rest - for fun
No two children are alike - especially if one of them is yours.
The sexiest number is 21593, because when two (2) people think about one (1), then in a maximum of five (5) weeks they will understand that in nine (9) months there will already be (3) of them...
Children shame us when they behave in public the way we behave at home.
Smiles, loud laughter, joy in the eyes, sincere friendship, games in the yard... a time when everything was so simple and carefree. But childhood cannot be returned.
For every parent, their child is the best)
A child is an eternal mystery for adults.
Go and tell your mom that you drank a liter of blood from the teacher!
We teach our children first. Then we ourselves learn from them. Those who do not want to do this are behind their times.
She is like a little girl waiting for the New Year, snow and your call.
– As a child, if you came from the store with bread, was it obligatory to bite the edges?
A session is what you need to scare children with in childhood, and not with all sorts of bigots!
Gray mice are almost always happy: they get married successfully, have a family, children. And I... and I’m showing off.
There are two of us and it's wonderful! We are together and life is good! What a joy it is to carry a baby under your heart!
Whatever one may say, life is much easier for children. When a child needs to solve their problem, they immediately run to their dad and start sneaking around... A couple of tears and it's all over.
For a child with a hammer, everything around him is a nail!
The character of a child is a copy of the character of the parents; it develops in response to their character.
The girl is like a child in kindergarten, if you don’t pick it up in time, he’ll run off to play in another sandbox.
Children listen most attentively when they are not being spoken to.
If you don't know what your children are like, look at their friends. (Xun Tzu)
Whatever the child enjoys, as long as it doesn’t hurt his own
Abandoned children often live with their parents.
As a child, a girl thought about what to put in her purse to make her look bigger. And now: what to put out so that it doesn’t fall out!
Divorce statistics show that parents run away from home more often than children.
In the lesson: “Children! What is a thing?” Petya: “Well, this is, for example, a book, a briefcase, a cap!” Vovochka: “A can of beer for a hangover is a thing!”
A child’s imagination is broader than an adult’s because it is still free from the realities of life.
Call boys. Around the clock. Phone 02.
Today I decided to remember my childhood and jumped into a snowdrift... who knew there was a bench there?
Children are our judges of tomorrow.
I went out onto the balcony, looked into the yard, and there were children running, playing, and riding bicycles. Happy, they haven't bought a computer yet.
Big girls play too. Only teddy bears have grown up, become a little unshaven, smelling like Lacoste and Kenzo, but we still take them to bed
The baby is the only thing in the house that has to be washed by hand.
They are the same, but their own mother will never confuse them!
Spring has come: the boys are swelling, the girls are blooming.
Every girl in her life should learn to jump over a goat... Like in physical education)
Becoming a father is very easy. Being a father, on the other hand, is difficult.
Dear Grandfather Frost! I've been a very good girl all year, so please give me a gift to some bad boy...)
– Dad, why can’t children watch this film? - Sit quietly! Now you will see for yourself.
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Friends, I congratulate you all on the holiday - International Friendship Day! Let everything go well and there will be fewer misunderstandings.
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Celebrate when you have money!!!
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If you have a sense of humor, then the holiday is always with you.
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I'm waiting for my birthday, but more often than not it happens that the anticipation of the holiday is better than the holiday itself...
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It's a total f...k when you celebrate your thirtieth birthday at McDonald's...
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The most extreme holiday for men is Easter...)))))
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Halloween celebrations took place on an unprecedented scale. In Almetyevsk alone, 100 people received a pumpkin.
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Why isn’t a birthday celebrated like a wedding, for two or three days?
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Dear girls! Let holidays happens to you two, three, five times more often!
Some of them don’t matter, for example birthdays)…
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We ate, drank, had fun! They counted it, they shed tears, the money was like manure. No today, no tomorrow!
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You come to the pharmacy after the New Year, and there the pharmacist with such a satisfied smile says, “Do you need anything for your hangover?” No, f*ck me a pregnancy test
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1941-1945 We will not forget???=)
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My home is my fortress! I celebrate one holiday - Bastille Day!
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Anyone who is happy about the holiday is drunk the day before!
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The perfect gift is one that can be used to buy another!
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As luck would have it, when nothing can be done, the hands and eyes themselves insistently demand work and try to actively find it... Moreover, where you would never have thought to look...
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Dear Roman Abramovich! Mom told me that Santa Claus does not exist...((...so I will write to you...))
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If the Constitution of the Russian Federation is not respected even by the Government, should this day be considered a holiday?
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Advice to everyone: if you party all night on Wednesday, then Thursday disappears from your life and on Friday it’s like Monday, and after that it’s the WEEKEND
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It's sad... I'm turning from a swallow into a penguin... oh, these holidays))
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How nice it is...)
Today, look into the refrigerator full of salads, Olivier salad, potatoes with meat and cold cuts... and turn away in disgust...)
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I'll decorate festive table in person :))
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Valentine's Day is not a holiday, but a roll call: those who are mutually in love, those who are unrequitedly in love and those who are in love with themselves.
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The holidays continue... Drink mineral water! Let the liver be surprised.
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We know the limit. But will you drink it?
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This is simply amazing. Their house is full! But I never bought empty bottles.
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IN New Year's Eve I’ll tie a bow and sit under the tree...
Suddenly someone valuable beautiful gift needed...)))
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A holiday without vodka is like a passport without a photo!!!
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We survived the end of the world, New Year too)
What next cataclysm awaits us?))
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So many congratulatory SMS, but one is the most welcome!!!
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The good thing about a party is that the guests leave on time. The Americans go home, the Russians go for new supplies of alcohol.
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The holidays are over...
And everyday life caught up with us.
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Happy holiday to everyone who is in love or waiting for love! Call your loved ones!
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Once again, when I opened the refrigerator, I realized that the holidays are over!
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Real men give gifts for no reason and at the behest of their hearts, others - solely at the behest of the calendar.
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In Russia, as you know, there are two troubles... and one of them has a holiday today)))))
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In our country, it is customary to celebrate the mistakes of the people public holidays...Happy Independence Day!!!
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Holidays happen only to those who know how to organize them themselves!
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Happy Winter Standing Day to everyone!!! Unless I missed something, of course...
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The only holiday that is always with us is a masquerade ball of human hypocrisy. You are mistaken if you say you know me. Everyone knows me as much as I allow myself to be known.
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Darling, I wanted to buy you a frying pan for the holiday, but I remembered - they don’t give you edged weapons.
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I don't want either noisy companies, no table with lots of snacks. I want to sit next to him and hear “I love you!”
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After the holidays, I was born again, crawled, peed and couldn’t speak!
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Never unwrap a gift right away, but wait until the guests leave... If you unwrap it in front of the guests, you won’t be able to give it to anyone present! ...)))
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I only have two holidays a year, New Year and every day
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The most favorite time years are the time when dreams come true.
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It's good when Friday comes after Saturday!!! But when Friday is followed by another Friday, it’s tough!!!((
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All we do is wait. Either summer, then New Year, then birthday.
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Every person has a friend who will wait until the clock shows 00:00 and wish him a happy birthday.
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-Oh my God, what are you wearing? - Linen... bedding... it’s just the only thing that fits after the holidays :)))
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The Russian people are the most resilient - they celebrate all holidays.
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I’m on a diet; I won’t offer anything other than sex until Easter.
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Yes, I’m not a present, but it’s not your birthday either!
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There should be a lot of gifts, and it doesn’t matter at all whether they are expensive or... very. :-))
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A person himself is able to turn his every day into a holiday, but, for some reason, every time he hopes for someone else...
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It’s GOOD when after the holidays you are left not only with extra pounds, but with a lot of fun, wonderful memories and photos:)!
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(T) Holidays... On the fourth morning the reflection in the mirror turned away from me...
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I was so distracted by the holidays that now I don’t know where to look.
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It’s unbearably painful to watch the refrigerator empty after the holidays... It’s especially unbearable to understand WHO it’s emptying...
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It's a pity that no " International Day asshole”... I would congratulate some...
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A fairytale night always begins with a magic wand...
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Adolescence is when it’s a holiday, your family is at the table, and you’re sitting sad and thinking about how to add vodka to your compote without drinking too much!
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After the holidays I can’t find the scales... they’re hiding... they’re afraid I’ll crush them)))
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Corporate parties are starting... Be careful... YOU still have to work together...)))))
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You can’t scare our people with the end of the world... We will add it to the holidays!)))
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That's the end of the holidays, well done to those who didn't get drunk!!!
Statuses about holidays
