When a new addition is expected to the family, quarrels with the husband during pregnancy become the norm for many couples. As a rule, quarrels with husbands during pregnancy concern both couples who were planning their pregnancy and those couples for whom this was unexpected news.

Women in their imagination paint bright pictures, but in real life They encounter misunderstandings from their husbands, hormone fluctuations, and depression.

Reasons for arguing with your husband during pregnancy

The main reasons for quarrels during pregnancy with your husband are:

1) understatement

2) inability to hear

3) inability to express one’s desires.

During pregnancy, a woman's mood changes very often. Men don’t always understand why this happens, and they also begin to get angry. Even the most patient men admit that they cannot always restrain themselves. Because of emotional fluctuations, women want their husbands to understand everything perfectly, or better yet, to learn to read minds. Dear women, this doesn't happen. Moreover, a man will never understand your condition; they have a completely different physiology.

The main mistake a woman makes that causes quarrels with her husband during pregnancy is her emotionality and inability to establish constructive communication with her husband. When you feel bad during pregnancy and need a man's support, don't start crying and complaining. Tell your husband specifically what he needs to do to make you feel better (“Hold me now, honey,” “Honey, go to the pharmacy for painkillers,” “I’m not feeling well right now, could you prepare dinner?”). Agree, it's not difficult.

The second reason for quarrels may be feelings of lack of attention and love. A pregnant woman wants affection, male care, she wants to be the center of male attention.

But no matter how much objectively the husband gives the woman his attention, it will still seem to her that this is not enough and she will demand more. This often becomes the cause of a quarrel with her husband during pregnancy. Women, be wiser. Don't dwell on the negative. Thank your husband for the work he has done, and you also give your husband warmth and attention. Your spouse sincerely cares about you, as best he can.

Another reason for a quarrel with your husband during pregnancy is the division of responsibilities around the house. Once pregnant, women may stop being interested in household chores and gradually shift all responsibility to their husband. Don't try to hide behind your pregnancy and shirk housework. Of course, if there are no contraindications from a doctor, being active during pregnancy will benefit you. Do not abuse your position and do not look for hidden benefits - this is all pure manipulation.

During pregnancy, your spouse also plays an important role and the whole world cannot revolve only around you. Although you are carrying the child, he is no less tired at work and has a lot of things to do. Therefore, stop being an eternally dissatisfied, whining and ungrateful wife. Consider your spouse's feelings. He is a living person, not a robot, sometimes he wants to take a walk with friends, sometimes go fishing. Give him the opportunity to be a man, and not a wimp and henpecked. Your mutual care for each other should overcome quarrels with your husband during pregnancy.

Lack of conversation negatively impacts a couple's relationship during pregnancy. Communicate with your husband about your experiences, do not forget about words of love and tenderness. Everything should be done entirely voluntarily; other people do not owe us anything.

Quarrels with your husband during pregnancy can be prevented if:

Eliminate the words “should” and “obliged” from your vocabulary, since you had a child together and both wanted it. If your husband does not experience leg swelling, back pain, or toxicosis, this does not mean that we have the right to devalue his role and ruin his life with our claims.

Stop abusing your position. You are able to go to the store yourself and buy yourself whatever you want; you don’t have to send your husband out at one in the morning for this.

Don't get caught up in your own appearance. Any man will love a calm, balanced, self-care woman. As a rule, only women notice extra pounds; to your husband, you are still beautiful.

Engage in a reasonable distribution of your day so that you have time to pay attention to yourself, your husband and household chores. Reduce the amount of housework you do around the house to a reasonable extent. The husband and future baby need a happy and cheerful wife and mother.

Stop comparing your family to other families. Such comparisons, as a rule, end in quarrels with the husband. The only thing that comes from a woman is: “My friend’s husband bought her a fur coat and took her to a restaurant, and you...” It’s stupid to compare yourself, your life with someone else’s. Enjoy the moments that happen here and now.
Quarrels with your husband during pregnancy, what to do to prevent

Quarrels with husband during pregnancy, if husband is the initiator

The most difficult thing for a woman is in those situations when quarrels with her husband during pregnancy occur on the initiative of the husband.

In such situations, it is better not to develop the conflict and try to start using one of the techniques:

1) In order not to respond with rudeness to your husband’s accusations, we mentally count to three. At the same time, we breathe deeply and evenly. This will help dull your emotions and look at the situation objectively.

2) We do not react to our husband’s outbursts so as not to continue the quarrel. Verbal battles will end sooner or later, they make no sense, and they do not solve the conflict, they only make it worse. If you don’t shout in response, you may be able to find out the essence of your husband’s complaint.

3) You can begin to treat your husband’s complex character with humor. Pay attention to him positive qualities, for which you once liked him.

4) Transfer the topic from a conflict one to one that is a priority for the husband.

5) In response to your husband’s screams, you can kiss him and offer him tea to discuss everything calmly. Affection helps combat male irritability.

6) If you understand that your husband’s claims are completely fair and objective, ask him for forgiveness.

How to prevent quarrels with your husband during pregnancy

During pregnancy, researchers from the University of Pennsylvania recently came to this conclusion. They found that scandals help a pregnant woman feel the strength of her connection with her other half. For her, conflict is primarily a way of interacting with her partner. And this is a very important factor when expecting a child.

The study involved 138 couples expecting their first child. True, in official marriage consisted of only 82 percent of them. Psychologists asked all participants to talk about the psychological climate in the family. At the same time, the level of the “stress hormone” - cortisol - was measured three times: before discussing family problems, after that and after 20 minutes.

The results turned out to be quite interesting. It turned out that, firstly, the level of stress in pregnant women does not depend on the degree of conflict in the situation, and secondly, women with high anxiety recover more easily from a scandal.

It's no secret that during pregnancy, under the influence of changes hormonal levels The female psyche is also changing. And often not for the better. A woman can become whiny, irritable, capricious and even not quite adequate. Outbreaks over trifles often become the norm for expectant mothers. A woman feels uncomfortable, out of place, she may feel lonely, and it may seem that no one understands her condition. As a result, she begins to make claims against to a loved one, find fault with him, scold him... In rare cases, a pregnant woman develops an aversion to her partner, she may even want to break up with him.

Researchers believe that scandals and quarrels for a pregnant woman are primarily a way of interacting with a partner. If a husband begins to vigorously sort things out, this proves that he is not indifferent to his wife. Unfortunately, often in such a situation, men begin to avoid communication with their spouse and even seek consolation on the side, they believe that their family life didn’t work out... This is how “scoundrels” are born who abandon their pregnant wives.

In fact, a man simply cannot stand the ordeal of his partner's pregnancy, psychological pressure on her part. Here everything can very much depend on the husband’s behavior: if he shows understanding and tries to surround his wife with attention and care, he will be able to reduce the level of negativity. Most likely, when hormones return to normal, the situation will change. In the meantime, you need to configure yourself that this is only temporary. Most women become pregnant at an age when their personality has already formed, so pregnancy and childbirth are unlikely to transform a woman into a completely different person. Sooner or later everything will “settle down”, the parents will adapt to the arrival of the baby and rebuild their relationship.

So, psychologists advise that a pregnant wife’s desire to conflict should not be perceived as a tragedy. She just might need it now. Do not take her attacks seriously, tolerate them, but at the same time show maximum attention to your spouse. This will help improve psychological climate in the family.

Girls, during pregnancy, almost every expectant mother encounters a “confrontation” with her husband; subsequently, disagreements arise and, naturally, stress for the pregnant woman, for whom perhaps not the best good condition in her perfect position.

Let's first look at stressful situations, the cause of which (accidentally or intentionally) was your husband. Why husband? Yes, because psychologists have long noticed that stress caused by a husband is much more difficult for a woman to endure. If you were offended by your mother, boss or saleswoman in a store, yes, it’s unpleasant, but you can survive. But the beloved husband is another matter...

The stress to which a woman is exposed is always repeated and continues throughout the entire period of pregnancy. The main stressors for a pregnant woman are physiological changes in the body, unexpected or unwanted pregnancy, thoughts about future worries, about one’s health and the health of the unborn child, and fear of childbirth. Traumatic experiences may be associated with information about pregnancy, with visiting antenatal clinics and communication with medical personnel, with conflicts in the family and at work.

How to behave during a quarrel?

Firstly, under no circumstances should you try to reason with or convince your husband. And even more hysterically, through tears, remind him that you are pregnant, that he is a monster who doesn’t care about you or the child. Such behavior will anger him even more, and it is unlikely that he will immediately change his anger to mercy. He is also a living person, he needs time to understand that he was, to put it mildly, wrong.
Secondly, sitting and roaring demonstratively is also strictly forbidden! Therefore, while your husband is screaming, swearing and reprimanding, it’s time for you, expectant mothers, to think about the baby. Your baby certainly doesn’t need such scenes. Therefore, looking at your husband, you mentally direct your gaze to the baby, silently pronounce to him the warmest and most tender words that you know. You can hum to yourself some song that you both love. Mentally imagine that your child is in a protective shell through which all unpleasant words or phrases do not penetrate. There is also no access to shouting, raised voices, or insults. The main thing is to believe that your baby is completely safe. Yes, your husband will try to bring you back to reality and drag you into a quarrel, but your task is to survive. No one said that this was easy to do, but, as a rule, a mother’s love is so strong that she is able to protect her child. The main thing is not to think about yourself, not about your husband, not about the current situation, but concentrate all your thoughts only on the child.
Next, as soon as your spouse’s ardor and anger subsides, it’s time to tell him (necessarily in a quiet, calm voice full of love and tenderness!) something that would distract his attention from what was just said, like: “Oh, I forgot to say, beloved, Ivan Stepanovich called you,” etc.
It's great if you succeeded. And if not, and you still got upset, burst into tears and were already offended? Then try the following. Tell your husband that you would like to be alone. When you are alone with yourself, remember to breathe.
1. Take a few deep breaths, try to calm down as much as possible. It would be nice to go to the mirror, smile at yourself, say something (out loud!!!) like: “and still I’m the best! ” or “ Never mind, baby, we’ll break through! " Self-discipline is very important, without it there is no point in thinking about reconciliation with your husband or talking with your baby!
2. Now is the time to turn mentally to the future baby. While stroking his belly, tell him how much you love him, how much his dad loves him. Explain to the child that dad did not want to harm either you or him, tell him that all this is a momentary weakness, that in fact everything is fine. But! In order for your baby to believe you, it is necessary that you yourself sincerely believe in what you are talking about.
3. Therefore, find excuses for yourself for your husband, try to understand him, and most importantly, forgive him. Always remember that stress passes, but resentment remains. Therefore, it is in your hands to make sure that the child does not carry this burden, so that he is born without resentment or complaints against his parents.
4. Having calmed yourself and your child, feel free to go make peace with your husband, not forgetting to tell him how wonderful, attentive and loving he is!

Remember, often the husband of a pregnant woman is more capricious and emotionally unbalanced than the pregnant woman herself. And honestly, admit to yourself: is your husband as wrong as you think? Maybe, dear women, you should be a little patient and all the quarrels will come to naught? And one more thing: always remember that if you experienced stress, it means you needed it for something. Try to find the positive side in everything, and, most importantly, always get out of your grievances, put up only with with a pure heart and an open soul! Then your spouse will understand you better, appreciate you more and love you even more.

Pregnancy is always stressful, but it mainly depends on you whether it will be positive and strengthen your mental and physical health, or negative and will negatively affect your health and the health of your unborn child.

I wish you mutual understanding with your beloved husband, easy pregnancy and childbirth!

It is so arranged by nature that pregnancy lasts for nine months. This is, of course, a long period of time, so it’s only natural to live through this entire period without stress or trouble. to the expectant mother It’s almost impossible: either your beloved mother-in-law will pull some trick, or dear mother the mood will be spoiled, the beloved husband will decide to drink blood... It is unrealistic to foresee all the troubles and potential blows of fate, but it is very possible to “soften” and “ease” them.

Why do I quarrel with my husband?

Let's first look at stressful situations that were caused (accidentally or intentionally) by your husband. Why husband? Yes, because psychologists have long noticed that stress caused by a husband is much more difficult for a woman to endure. If you were offended by your mother, boss or saleswoman in a store - yes, it’s unpleasant, but you can survive. But the beloved husband is another matter...

How to behave during a quarrel?

Firstly, under no circumstances should you try to reason with or convince your husband. And even more hysterically, through tears, remind him that you are pregnant, that he is a monster who doesn’t care about you or the child. Such behavior will anger him even more, and it is unlikely that he will immediately change his anger to mercy. He is also a living person, he needs time to understand that he was, to put it mildly, wrong.

Secondly, sitting and roaring demonstratively is also strictly forbidden! Therefore, while your husband is screaming, swearing and reprimanding, it’s time for you, expectant mothers, to think about the baby. Your baby certainly doesn’t need such scenes. Therefore, looking at your husband, you mentally direct your gaze to the baby, silently pronounce to him the warmest and most tender words that you know. You can hum to yourself some song that you both love. Mentally imagine that your child is in a protective shell through which all unpleasant words or phrases do not penetrate. There is also no access to shouting, raised voices, or insults. The main thing is to believe that your baby is completely safe. Yes, your husband will try to bring you back to reality and drag you into a quarrel, but your task is to survive. Nobody said that this was easy to do, but, as a rule, a mother’s love is so strong that she is able to protect her child. The main thing is not to think about yourself, not about your husband, not about the current situation, but concentrate all your thoughts only on the child.

Next, as soon as your spouse’s ardor and anger subsides, it’s time to tell him (necessarily in a quiet, calm voice full of love and tenderness!) something that would distract his attention from what was just said, like: “Oh, I forgot to say, beloved, Ivan Stepanovich called you,” etc.

It's great if you succeeded. And if not, and you still got upset, burst into tears and were already offended? Then try the following. Tell your husband that you would like to be alone. When you are alone with yourself, remember to breathe.

Do it! Think about yourself and the child!

  1. Take a few deep breaths and try to calm down as much as possible. It would be nice to go to the mirror, smile at yourself, say something (out loud!!!) like: “and still I’m the best!” or “nothing, baby, we’ll break through!” Self-discipline is very important, without it there is no point in thinking about reconciliation with your husband or talking with your baby!
  2. Now is the time to turn mentally to the future baby. While stroking his belly, tell him how much you love him, how much his dad loves him. Explain to the child that dad did not want to harm either you or him, tell him that all this is a momentary weakness, that in fact everything is fine. BUT! In order for your baby to believe you, it is necessary that you yourself sincerely believe in what you are talking about.
  3. Therefore, find excuses for yourself for your husband, try to understand him, and most importantly, forgive him. Always remember that stress passes, but resentment remains. Therefore, it is in your hands to make sure that the child does not carry this burden, so that he is born without resentment or complaints against his parents.
  4. Having calmed yourself and your child, feel free to go and make peace with your husband, not forgetting to tell him how wonderful, attentive and loving he is!

Remember, often the husband of a pregnant woman is more capricious and emotionally unbalanced than the pregnant woman herself. And honestly, admit to yourself: is your husband as wrong as you think? Maybe, dear women, you should be a little patient and all the quarrels will come to naught? And one more thing: always remember that if you experienced stress, it means you needed it for something. Try to find the positive side in everything, and, most importantly, always get out of your grievances, put up only with a pure heart and an open soul! Then your spouse will understand you better, appreciate you more and love you even more.

I am pregnant. Term 17 weeks. The child is welcome. We had an ultrasound together; my husband was happy as an elephant. But I thought that after the ultrasound his attitude towards me would change, I thought that he would become more affectionate with me, more caring. But this did not happen. Quite the opposite. We started arguing regularly twice a week. Nobody goes anywhere, we just sit in different rooms and sulk at each other. We fight over little things. I don't know what to do next. I am ALWAYS the first to make peace. I come up and say: let's talk... we can make peace, or we can quarrel even more. Yesterday we had a fight over the rules traffic)) I asked him about one law, he couldn’t explain it to me properly, I asked again, he started repeating the same phrase to me, and then yelled at me. I burst into tears and started shouting at him in response. When I came up to make peace, I told him that since I didn’t understand, I needed to explain differently, why shout?! I tried to explain to him that I was pregnant, I shouldn’t be nervous, and therefore there was no need to yell at me. In general, he listened and, as usual, began to tell me how bad I am, I constantly yell at him, roar, call him names, etc. And the fact that he was the first to yell at me, he conveniently forgot about it. And so every time. And no matter why we quarrel, the result is the same, he always tells me that I constantly yell at him, force him to do something (for example, help clean the house), but he is good, he is never to blame for anything. I have no more strength. My stomach began to hurt often, my lower back ached... On the ultrasound they said that I had tone. Unfortunately, since the session is coming soon, I can’t afford to go on sick leave. That’s why I work, clean the house after work, and cook. My husband only helps if I tell him. And when we quarrel, he constantly puts pressure on me: he knows that it really offends me when he stops eating, so he doesn’t eat anything for days. He’s terribly thin ((I can’t help but pay attention to this ((And this morning too He already brought me to tears. She freaked out, she said, we’ll get a divorce tomorrow. He didn’t answer anything. He doesn’t believe me anymore, because I’ve already said that many times. ((What should I do with my husband? What should I do so that he stops feeling sorry for himself? , and finally paid attention to me?! What should I do so as not to quarrel? There is no money for a psychologist, I need a session ((I don’t want to get a divorce, I don’t know how I’ll live alone with a child ((And I can’t live like this anymore) - I cry every day, I’m afraid that I might have a miscarriage ((I can’t ignore him either, I tried: he ends up lying on the couch all the time, watching movies, the house is a mess, there’s nothing to eat. In the end, I’m still as always I do. NEVER the first to put up is suitable.