DON'T STEP ON THE SAME RAKE! STEP ON OTHERS!

If I had a chance to live again, I would make the same mistakes, but faster.

Tallulah Bankhead

In this book, I will not describe in detail how to behave with guys. I already have books on this topic, besides, I’m finishing the encyclopedia “A Girl Becomes a Woman”, where everything will be described in detail: how to meet people, how to attract, captivate and retain, how to part with virginity correctly, how to build psychological and sexual relationships , and in general - how to become a screenwriter own life. And here I want to bring to your attention the opinion of a representative of the stronger sex. Having learned that I was writing a book for girls, he sent me this letter, in which the main mistakes of the fairer sex are briefly and clearly noted. Here is the letter: Hello Dilya Derdovna! I consider it my duty to talk about several “rake”, from the point of view of a guy, which, oddly enough, most girls step on. I called exactly about this, afraid of forgetting to write. The first rake is an attempt to remain silent or lie in response to possibly unpleasant questions. Almost all men regard this as insincerity and disrespect for them personally. Moreover, the more decent (in my understanding) the guy, the more it stresses him out. A direct answer is much more respected by men and one should not be afraid to give it. Moreover, this just guarantees respect. Moreover, there is almost nothing secret that will not become obvious after a while. Therefore, there is no need to be shy about telling men directly what you need from them. Normal people will understand, and certainly will not be offended... And a normal, delicate form can always be found even for the most unpleasant things. As a last resort, you can say, for example, “I’m sorry, this is so unpleasant for me that I don’t want to bother her...” Or, if there really are no feelings, who’s stopping you from directly hinting that the guy doesn’t bother her? After all, in fact, this is not “delicacy”, this is precisely a lack of respect... The second rake is resourcefulness, such as “I didn’t say that”, “you came up with it”, “it seemed to you”. Again, this is repulsive, especially to the most adult and responsible people. Why do you need a rag? The third rake is the lack of understanding that if a guy doesn’t call every 10 minutes, this doesn’t mean at all that he doesn’t have tender feelings. A simple, seemingly “on-duty” praise, a postcard, or even just a glance from another person means much more than hours of flattery and chatter from idle talkers. And the majority of, in principle, good girls simply don’t want to understand this... The fourth rake is the lack of understanding that any real guy, except a girl, also has a Business to which he devotes a lot of energy and which is significant for him - after all, this is essentially that is why nature creates so many men. Disrespect for the business in which a man is engaged practically guarantees damage to the relationship. The fifth rake is the excessive use of euphemisms, such as “I gave it to you, and you...”. Again, a guy with a sense of self-esteem will think to himself: “What’s happening, she thinks that she gave me alms, and I’m a fool, imagining that they sincerely love me.” Another stupid expression is “to fuck.” True, I have nothing to offer in return, except perhaps “a celebration of the body.” The literary Russian is poor in this regard... I myself witnessed the breakdown of a relationship with a friend of mine, a very decent guy. And it is precisely because of all these (and a bunch of others, but he is also to blame) “rake”. Best regards,

Women are no less capable of making mistakes. Lawrence Peter

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Double rake What do you do if you slip and fall? Let me guess. You stand up and then fall hard to the ground. And then again, but more painfully. Didn't guess right? Strange. What if you accidentally hit your finger with a hammer? Then you insert another finger and hit it with a hammer -

Each person's life can be presented in the form of a scenario in which each character is assigned a specific role, and the action unfolds sequentially to lead to a specific ending to life. The ending can be either happy or unhappy, but in a person’s life one can always find the preconditions for such an ending. Having analyzed a person's life, we can see that all the actions that were performed in life were aimed at leading to a certain ending.

This is explained by the fact that the child determines what the ending of life will be in early childhood, and then unconsciously follows this scenario all his life.

However, not everything is so hopeless. A person at any age can change his life, reconsider his childhood decisions. This is not easy, it requires effort to understand and change thoughts, feelings, and actions. But in the end, a person receives freedom - the freedom to live outside the framework of the script, the freedom to choose and act differently each time, the freedom to live life the way he wants, and not as required by the person’s environment, social norms, habits and rules.

Each large scenario of a person’s life consists of many small scenarios or mini-scenarios. You have probably noticed that every time you face the same problems, you choose similar relationships for yourself, your partners behave towards you in a similar way, you step on the same rake, etc. Have you noticed how often you use words and phrases such as: “again”, “again”, “as always”, “that’s to be expected”, “I knew it”, “no wonder that this happened"? All these phrases and words appear in our language when some event in our life is repeated.

In addition to mini-scenarios, you can also notice the existence of micro-scenarios in our lives. For example, a mini-scenario family relations manifests itself every day in the form of small dialogues between spouses, in the form of solving small problems, in dance, in sex, etc. Thus, by looking at how spouses decide how to spend their vacation, one can determine how they build relationships in general, i.e. what is the mini-scenario for each of them? Well, the mini-scenario, in turn, will shed light on the general scenario of the life of each spouse.

To change life for the better, the global scenario of life must be changed. Studying micro-scripts is the key to understanding the script of life. Awareness of problems at the micro-scenario level contributes to the correction of the mini-scenario and the scenario as a whole.

So how do you work with a micro-script?

There are three stages. Let's take the example of a person who steps on a rake every time.

1) A person begins to realize that it is not by chance that he steps on a rake every time, but there is some pattern to this. A person wonders why he stepped on this rake? Why don't other people step on this rake? Why does he follow the road on which this rake lies? A person notes for himself the signs by which one can determine that there is a rake on the road.

2) The man still walks along the road on which the rake lies, but at the very last moment, when he has already raised his foot to step on the rake, he steps over the rake and contentedly continues on his way.

3) The man walks along a different road, on which there are no rakes.

So what does this mean?

To work with a micro-script you need:

Firstly, see the problem, i.e. understand exactly what actions are repetitive and what they lead to. To do this, it is important to monitor your speech and “catch” such words and phrases: again, again, I knew it, as always, always like this with me, this was to be expected, as much as possible, etc.

These phrases mean that certain scenario actions were performed, and it is worth taking a closer look at what happened before (preconditions) and what happened after (consequences). The most important thing here is not to scold yourself for stepping on a rake again, but rather to praise yourself for realizing what is happening. This means you have the opportunity to change everything.

Secondly Having learned to determine what preceded the scenario behavior (prerequisites), you can learn to avoid this behavior, while noticing that the next step will be followed by an error. Even if you can’t avoid making a mistake, you don’t need to scold yourself. It is important that you already know how to foresee the possibility of this error in advance. Praise yourself for this.

Thirdly, you learn not to react to premises. How to do this?

There is at least three ways:

1. Active listening– something we talked about a lot in previous issues.

2. Clarifying what you heard. For example: “Do you now want to know this and that?”, “Did you mean this now?”, “What exactly do you want?”

3. Using I-statements.

This fairy tale story could have happened in a small village called Stary Saltov. Or it might not have happened at all... Oh, what beautiful places there: a large forest, a clean river, mountains, and grief. Ask, “Why grief?” But because where there are people, there is grief. Sometimes they invent it for themselves, and when five or ten years have passed, they say that it was not grief at all. And it turns out there was no need to worry. But I want to worry.
It's time to start our fairy tale. Listen…
A shaggy, gray-haired sorcerer rode on an old cart filled with hay, past the village of Stary Saltov. He was carrying various magical things. There was nowhere to rush. The sun has worn out the sorcerer. He dozed off and didn’t even notice how the magic rake fell out of the cart right onto the grassy country road. The rakes lie there for a day, and the second day they lie there. And on the third day, grandma Praskovya (people call her Baba Pasha) was returning home to Stary Saltov from a neighboring farm and saw that there was a good rake lying around. The grandmother thought: “I’ll take them to my home, and then, lo and behold, the owner will be found.” That's how the magic rake ended up in grandma's yard.
Meanwhile, in the big city, Bogdanchik’s granddaughters were preparing to visit grandmother Pasha. He was such a smart boy, with kind brown eyes that seemed to look into people’s very souls. His mother tells him: “I’ll take you to your grandmother in Stary Saltov for the summer. Just be careful there: don’t go too far into the forest, don’t swim in the river for a long time, and watch your step - don’t step on the rake. Bogdanchik nods his head and reassures his mother: “I’m not little anymore.” And he thinks about fishing and is happy.
Grandma Pasha baked some pies and her granddaughter greeted her. Bogdanchik saw his grandmother - he ran to her joyfully and stepped on a magic rake and stepped right on the teeth. No, he didn’t hurt his leg, but the rake simply hit him painfully on the head with its handle. And by the most magical chance, Bogdanchik became unlucky. Yes, yes, yes - the unlucky ones - everywhere and always.
Just imagine this picture: Bogdan and his friend Kolya went into the forest. He throws mushrooms into the bag one after another and rejoices: “Here’s a mushroom, and here’s another, and this one…” And Bogdanchik either sees a hedgehog or a bunny. But he doesn’t come across mushrooms. The forest is beautiful, cool, moss lies on old trees. So Kolya asks him: “Why are you so joyful? After all, I didn’t find any mushrooms.”
Bogdanchik answers: “I don’t need mushrooms at all. Look - the fox ran. Her muzzle is sharp, and the tip of her tail has white fur. And such a little fox turns out...” Bogdanchik didn’t upset his friend by saying that he also wanted to find a mushroom, but he couldn’t do it.
At that very moment, this is what happened to the magic rake: the outermost tine bent towards the neighboring tine, and that one towards the outermost one. And these two teeth began to look like a cross. This trouble canceled itself out. And the old sorcerer’s heart sank painfully. He turned on his magic monitor and saw a joyful Bogdanchik on it. And the sorcerer says: “Wow... The boy, it turns out, dealt with his trouble. Let’s see how he overcomes the second one.”
On the second day, early in the morning, Kolya runs in to pick up Bogdanchik and invites him to go fishing. The morning is so clean and bright... Bogdanchik kissed his grandmother, grabbed a fishing rod and ran to the river. And over the Donets River the air flows light, transparent... The friends are in a good mood. But then this is what happened: Kolya catches fish after fish, and Bogdanchik’s fish either ate a worm, then fell off the hook, and then stopped pecking altogether. So Kolya asks him: “Why are you so joyful? After all, I didn’t catch any fish.”
Bogdanchik answers: “I don’t need fish at all. Let it float. And I’ll go and swim. And he ran to the creek to swim. Bogdanchik splashes, laughs, enjoys life. The water in the Donets is pleasant, the sun is shining...
At this very moment, the next two even teeth on the rake leaned towards each other. This means that they canceled out Bogdanchik’s troubles. And the old sorcerer’s heart sank painfully. And he said: “Wow... The boy, it turns out, dealt with his second trouble. And the third one will be very difficult. He certainly won’t be able to cope with such a disaster.”
And on the third day Sonechka arrived in Stary Saltov. The girl is so bright, cheerful and very lively. She and Bogdanchik became friends last summer. Sonya met Kolya and Bogdanchik and said: “And today is my birthday. Turned eight years old. Will you come to dinner with me? Come... My grandmother will bake a cake - delicious, homemade. There will be pancakes with sour cream, and cold wild berry compote. I also learned to dance a funny dance. I’ll teach you too.” The friends were delighted and agreed. And Sonechka ran to help her grandmother.
The boys prepared gifts. Kolya bought a big doll. And Bogdan himself drew a picture for Sonechka from the heart. And in that picture the sea is calm and there is a ship. But on the ship the guns are different and the locators are powerful.
I really liked the doll Sonechka. She kisses her, hugs her like her own; as if she had never had dolls. And Bogdanchik says: “Who depicts the sea like that? Wrong. And your boat turned out funny. Somewhat frivolous."
Bogdanchik answers: “I don’t need a serious boat. Am I going to fight or something?” And he painted cheerful eyes and a wide smile on the stern of the ship. May the boat be good.
Sonya says: “It’s still not like that! There’s something I don’t quite like.”
Kolya also repeats after Sonya: “And I don’t like it...”
And Bogdanchik didn’t even seem offended at all. I drank half a glass of compote and shook Kolya’s hand. He said: “Goodbye” to Sonya’s grandmother. And he smiled affectionately at Sonechka herself. And he went to play football with other guys.
At this very moment, the third pair of even teeth on the magic rake bent towards each other. This means that Bogdanchik coped with the third trouble. And the old sorcerer’s heart sank painfully. And the sorcerer said: “Now hold on Bogdan! You made me angry! I’ll arrange this for you now... After all, there are still two untouched teeth left on the rake. And they are my strongest. And no matter what kind of trouble you deal with, my friend, they will never bend!”
And at this very time Baba Pasha went to the barn to do some business. I saw a rake and thought: “The owner of this rake has never been found. And who bent the teeth on them so hard? And why do these two teeth stick out? Someone else will get hurt. I don’t like all this.” Grandma Pasha took a hammer from the barn and bent the remaining teeth at an angle towards each other. She just wanted it that way.
And the sorcerer screamed in severe pain and grabbed his heart. And then he says: “So my rake has lost its magical power forever. I’ll go lie down in the pine forest, I’m really sick.”
And after a while, when Grandma Praskovya was weeding the garden bed, the boys ran past her. One boy stopped and said: “And your Bogdan has already scored four goals!” Plays great! " The grandmother remained silent in response. She just smiled after the running kids and thought: “How cute they are all.”

Agree, we often make the same mistakes in life, in other words, we step on the same rake. The amazing thing is that each person does this differently. Astrologers claim that a person makes all mistakes and missteps as his Zodiac Sign dictates. Is this true? Let's test this hypothesis in a comic horoscope!

Aries

Aries will step on a rake, realize that he has made a mistake and, in a fit of rage, break it. However, in the process, he will get 10 more hits on the head with them.

Taurus

Taurus is a stubborn person. According to the comic horoscope, this Zodiac Sign is simply a champion in raking. A true Taurus will step on a rake until it breaks. Although, when they break, Taurus can buy another one and start all over again.

Twins

Geminis simply need to try everything, only after that they will understand what they want and in which direction they need to move. Experience for Gemini comes not with age, but with the number of rakes in their life.

Cancer

According to the comic horoscope according to the Zodiac Sign, Cancer cannot live without a rake. He will constantly step on them, but this is what will give him strength. Only after making a mistake will Cancer understand what he really needs from life.

Lion

Leo is optimistic that he will step on the same rake a couple of times more. The representative of this Sign doesn’t just step on a rake, he jumps on it cheerfully, while waving his hands to his friends and calling them to join.

Virgo

Virgo steps on the rake carefully, trying to calculate the force of the blow and the degree of pain caused. Virgo believes that it is possible to step on the same rake if you predict and plan everything correctly.

Scales

Libra will long and stubbornly avoid meeting a rake. They will begin to doubt, think for a long time and calculate their moves, but when they make a decision, they will definitely step on the biggest and sharpest rake.

Scorpion

Scorpio steps on a rake and is not afraid of it. And all because the representative of this Zodiac Sign simply does not notice anything! And if he notices, he won’t even think about the fact that it happened.

Sagittarius

Life doesn't teach Sagittarius at all. If Sagittarius steps on a rake and realizes that he has made a big mistake, this will not stop him from reaching his goal. After some time, he will decide to step on the same rake again.

Capricorn

A Capricorn who has stepped on a rake behaves very strangely: he analyzes, thinks and estimates for a long time. But in the end he will understand that it is not worth his thought and will forget his mistake, which will ultimately push him to make a mistake again.

Aquarius

According to the comic horoscope, Aquarius is very well versed in gardening tools. He will step on the most attractive and original, in his opinion, rake and will be proud that no one else but him thought of doing this.

Fish

If Pisces steps on a rake even once, they will remember and regret it all their lives. To old age Pisces will keep already rusty, but still quite usable rakes in their closet and sigh heavily when looking at them.

We hope this humorous Zodiac Sign horoscope made you smile! We wish you good luck and don't forget to click and

13.03.2014 12:40

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To make the same mistake again, not to draw conclusions from previous mistakes, not to take advantage of the sad experience of others.

  • ⚜ Only the dead make no mistakes
  • ⚜ Mistake teaches people wisdom
  • ⚜ Stepped on the teeth - rake in the forehead

This is usually what they say to a person who is not making the same mistake for the first time. Similar English proverbs:

  • ⚜ Only a fool steps on the same rake twice
  • ⚜ Stupid is the fish that catches the same bait twice

The expression is used figuratively, not literally. Like a person who puts a rake in the corner, he keeps tripping over it, grumbling, but there is nowhere to put it and he trips over it again and again.

So in life you can find out identical situations when a person, having made a mistake or mistake, has not learned anything, but still acts the same way. Then this situation repeats itself again and again.

How many times can you step on the same rake? An infinite number of times, if this rake lies on a Mobius strip. Remember this one from school?

Mokienko Valery Mikhailovich, “Why do we say this?”

STEP ON THE SAME RAKE

To make the same mistake again, not to draw conclusions from previous mistakes, not to take advantage of the sad experience of others.

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