There are certain methods, well known to psychologists, that allow you to make any person your like-minded person, friend, or simply push you to the decision you need, but none of these methods will tell you how to psychologically break a person, just how to make him your supporter.
1. Make it a habit to ask.
This rule is also called effect. Once upon a time he needed the approval of a person who was negatively disposed towards him. To win this man over to his side, Franklin very politely asked him for a book. And when he received the book, he thanked him even more politely. This allowed him to break the man and both became friends.
You've probably seen something similar in your life too. If a person has done you a favor, he will do it much more willingly next time than someone who owes you something. The reason for this behavior is simple. If you ask for something, it means that in the future you yourself will respond to the request.
2. Demand more
You can also find this method called “door to the forehead.” First, you need to ask a person for much more than you actually want to get from him. Or, if we are talking about specific things, you can ask for something completely ridiculous, this will allow break a person. Usually such a request is answered with a refusal. After a refusal, you can safely ask for what you needed in the first place. Because of the awkwardness that has arisen, the person most likely will not refuse you, provided that the request is reasonable.
3. Contact by name
According to , addressing your interlocutor by name is extremely important. For every person, his own name is the most pleasant combination of sounds. Therefore, when a person is addressed by name, this immediately puts the interlocutor at ease on a subconscious level and makes him experience positive emotions. You manage to break a person and turn him on himself.
A similar effect is observed when a person is addressed with an indication of his rank, title, or rank. How you behave towards a person determines how he will treat you. By calling someone a friend, you can count on the appearance of friendly feelings in return.
4. Flattery
It’s kind of clear what it is. But there are some rules. Flattery cannot be false. If you tell an outright lie, flattery will do harm, not good. According to researchers, people strive to ensure that their thoughts and feelings coincide. For example, speaking flattery to a person with a lot of pride, while demonstrating sincerity, will only get you approval. Your flattery will coincide with the person’s opinion of himself. The same technique with a person with low self-esteem will work exactly the opposite, because psychologically break a person in this case it is possible only by confirming his own thoughts about himself.
5. Reflection
The reflection effect also has another name – mimicry. This effect is often used unconsciously, but it works no worse for it. By copying someone's behavior, manners, gestures, you can achieve favor and psychologically break a person.
People in general tend to treat better those who are similar to them. Moreover, if a person was copied, the effect is somewhat broader - it becomes easier and more pleasant for the person to communicate with other interlocutors. A similar effect is observed as when addressing a person by name.
6. Take advantage of your opponent's fatigue
A tired person is more susceptible to other people's words, requests, and statements. Psychologically break a person It is possible at the moment of his fatigue, at the moment of a low level of mental energy. If you ask a tired person for a favor, they are more likely to agree, rather than having to make the more difficult decision to refuse the request. Moreover, the next day the request will most likely be fulfilled, since a promise was made.
7. Inconvenient requests
To later ask for something important and big, first ask the person for something small and simple. Having once responded to your request, in the future the person will be more willing to make contact. This method allows you to break a person only if there is a certain interval between your requests - at least a couple of days.
8. Listening skills
You shouldn't rub someone's mistakes in their face. You can only get negative response. If you don’t know how to psychologically break a person, first listen to him, try to understand him. Most likely, you will be able to find common ground, even if in general your opinions are opposite. First, agree with your interlocutor, then he will listen to your arguments much more carefully.
9. Repeat after your interlocutor
The easiest way break a person- this is to show your understanding of his point of view. Try to paraphrase his words. By repeating the same thing, but in your own words, you show your complete approval. This technique is called reflective listening. Psychotherapists widely use this technique in their practice.
This technique is easiest to use when talking to a friend. Listen to the phrase, and then repeat it, like your own question - this way the person will see that he is being listened to and will feel comfortable. He will listen to your opinion much more willingly.
10. Nodding
By nodding we usually show that we agree with the interlocutor. Break a man you can simply nod during the conversation. This is another of the effects of mimicry. If you nod during the conversation, listening to the position of your interlocutor, it will be much easier for you to later convince him that you are right.
Hello, dear readers! Psychological pressure is used in cases where it is necessary to influence both the opinion of another person and his decisions and actions. You may not always notice that they are trying to “put pressure” on you. The methods of influence are very clever, which, unfortunately, can change the course of the life of the person to whom they are used. And today we will look at its main types, as well as ways in which we can protect ourselves.
Types and forms
There are a lot of them, but we will look at the most basic and most common ones.
Compulsion
Typically used to refer to a person who is weaker in some area that is obvious to everyone. For example, a boss has more power than his employee, which is why he demands actions that he doesn’t want to do, but he also has no right to resist this process.
It differs from ordinary manipulations in that the information comes directly, it is not veiled or covered up by any distracting nuances.
Humiliation
An attempt not so much to force someone to do something, but to inflict pain, as if morally “crushing” the interlocutor. In this regard, the most unpleasant insults are selected, mainly related to appearance or character, since it is these areas, directly related to the personality, that hurt and reduce self-esteem.
Hearing unpleasant epithets addressed to oneself, a person loses self-control, confidence and the ability to think critically. Why, wanting to restore his importance, he immediately agrees to subsequent proposals to correct the situation and still complete some part of the work that he would definitely not have agreed to before.
Avoidance
Complex view with elements of emotional abuse. For example, you, having sensed the manifestation of manipulation, try to clarify this point, and the interlocutor moves on to other topics, ignoring what you say, sometimes even indignant that you pester him and even slander him.
Then, as they say, “cognitive dissonance” arises, that is, a feeling of contradiction, everything seems to be normal, at least according to the partner, but inside there is a lot of anxiety or confusion.
Suggestion
Pressure on a person, after which he becomes able to perceive absolutely any material presented by the aggressor, even if it is ridiculous and contradictory. But it is used only by skilled craftsmen who were able to “ingratiate themselves” into the trust of their victim, earning her respect and recognition.
Sometimes hypnosis is used for suggestion, but there are people who are resistant to it; therefore, they are the only ones who are able to avoid the negative consequences of this method of coercion.
Belief
An attempt to influence another using logic, consistency in the presentation of information, and the use of facts. The number of arguments is confusing, which is why the “victim” stops criticizing what was said, accepting the imposed position.
Rhetorical questions
There is no point in answering them, and silence will serve as proof that you are wrong and agree with the above.
Gratitude
Which they require. At first, they may unobtrusively hint that it’s time to “repay the favor”; if you do not understand or refuse to do something, they may involve threats, for example, revelations about something, etc.
Trigger words
They influence the emotional sphere of a person; they are usually used in advertising to increase sales. Triggers reflect the qualities that you want to have. For example, “By completing this project, you will become a more promising employee.” Well, isn't it tempting?
A person, having fallen for the trick, will already commit violence against himself, forcing him to do some kind of work that is completely uninteresting, but promises to gain the desired status.
Attracting influencers
Fairy tales
They can describe future prospects in great detail if you comply with the request. Daydreams, dreams...the emphasis is placed on them, but the possible inconveniences and suffering are ignored. People are ready to go to great lengths to achieve what they want.
If this method does not help, they can, on the contrary, intimidate, drawing unfavorable consequences if they refuse. Which, unfortunately, in a fit of anger from powerlessness, is usually carried out if the “victim” refused to react and obey.
How to cope?
1. Straightforwardness
In case of pressure, it is very difficult to defend, especially if the one who applies it has too obvious an advantage. The only way is to tell him directly that he is behaving too aggressively and leaves no choice, which makes it almost impossible to do or think in such conditions.
There is a small percentage of people who are ashamed to admit to exceeding official authority and, in general, to using their power, so if you come across just such a person, you will be lucky, he will back down and in some situations even apologize, if not, try other methods .
2. Work on yourself
Humiliation only works effectively with people who lack confidence in themselves and their abilities. Why is the only way out is to work on yourself, so as not to react and have your own opinion on which you can rely.
3. Self-esteem
Only good self-esteem will also help against avoidance. If you are sure that there is a catch here, feel free to clarify, not allowing your interlocutor to continue to use manipulation techniques.
For example, “No, I don’t think so, let’s still be here and now we’ll discuss this issue,” “Let’s better get back to the topic..., I’m confused about it...” and so on.
4. Questions
The best way to resist pressure if you are confused or do not understand what is happening is to try to gain time with the help of clarifying and clarifying questions. And self-control will return to you faster, and the interlocutor will gradually begin to lose the stability of his position.
5. Open conversation
When rhetorical questions and a complex type of psychological violence are used, there is practically no opportunity to “save yourself.” The only way out is to turn the conversation into an open conversation in order to speak out and show accumulated emotions, otherwise the only option is capitulation and acceptance of accusations.
Here, for example, is what a husband can say in response to his wife’s question: “How can you be so insensitive?” or “Do you even understand what you’ve done?” In any case, he is already to blame, there is no point in denying it. But to say that “in general, yes, I usually understand what I’m doing, and I expected a completely different result from this action” makes sense; then at least he has the opportunity to be heard.
6. Unexpected twist
Try to determine for yourself exactly what advantage your partner relies on in a conversation with you. And tell him about it to his face: “Do you want to force me to agree with you just because you are higher in status or because I once made a mistake, and now you constantly point it out to me?”
7. Partnership
Offer to cooperate if you are being pressured to perform some unwanted duty.
Pressure is an impact that overcomes another force. Pressure - force to do something, force.
The pressure can be physical (the use of physical force or the threat of using it, see), or it can be psychological. Psychological pressure is one of the methods of psychological influence, along with the creation of an influencing situation.
Creating a situation is one of the methods of hidden influence on oneself and others, more typical for. Almost the same as Building a situation, the only difference is that Creating a situation is from scratch, and Building a situation is from already existing elements.
Such pressure can be produced in different types and forms. This can be emotional pressure (for example, repetition of demands, pressure on feelings of guilt or fear of losing), it can be intellectual (a flurry of arguments for or against), it can be direct () and indirect pressure (I don’t hide the fact that I put pressure, but I don’t put pressure directly , but through someone or something) - . Sometimes pressure occurs through personal relationships, sometimes it occurs in an impersonal way, through the creation of life frameworks: and. (My pressure is not visible, imperceptible, although I organized it). For more information, see Working Rules and Creating Circumstances. Men prefer pressure from a strong position, women more often use pressure from a weak position (for example,).
Intimidated, scared, fucked, stopped or dispersed - men are more prone to this. Women more often make an unhappy face, start begging, nagging, may start crying - they put pressure from the position of the weak. When a man behaves this way, he can be accused of feminine behavior.
Using different types of pressure is an important point in the art of effectively pushing your line. Pressure is a common but dangerous means of influence. Pressure is a variant of negative motivation that pushes the recipient of the influence to change his behavior or run away somewhere. There are other dangers to using pressure frequently. Pressure usually causes resistance and a desire to do the opposite. At the same time, when you say what should not be done, it is not always clear what you want: what should be done. If you overdo it with pressure, there is a desire to break off all contact with the person who puts pressure and forces. Relationships are deteriorating. In addition, pressure often creates stress and mental trauma.
On the other hand, the pressure method has its advantages. When it doesn't work, pressure may work. Using force is simple, you don’t have to think too much, the manifestation of strength earns respect and increases your esteem. Pressure on a trained person increases his fitness, and over time, a strong person grows. "Everything that doesn't kill us makes us stronger!"
Pressure is not considered a civilized method of influence, but in some cases it is legal. Well-mannered people in everyday communication communicate calmly, informatively, without attacks or pressure. Children and ill-mannered people turn the most ordinary communication into arguments, attacks and pressure, where almost any phrase immediately hits the interlocutor, forcing him to resist, defend or attack in response. If you want to become civilized people, learn to communicate in the “Adult-Adult” position, calmly speaking clear points and arguing your statements meaningfully, not emotionally.
On the other hand, well-mannered and self-respecting people know how to calmly, but firmly, and sometimes even harshly protest if communication, and especially the behavior of the interlocutor, goes beyond acceptable limits. In such cases, children and ill-mannered people make noise and swear, but in fact, unacceptable behavior is allowed. If there were agreements, you have the right to demand and put pressure if the demand is simply not met. If you want to become a respected person, learn to instantly notice when you go beyond what is permissible and firmly resist it. Or - get out of such uncivilized communication.
Directions of development
Wean yourself off mindlessly following the path of pressure. Specifically: for some time, prohibit yourself from using the words “force”, “must”, “necessarily”, “immediately” and similar ones in your internal and external vocabulary.
If you have already chosen a power line of influence, learn to push your line effectively. Specifically, this means “No” impulsiveness: choose the right place and time. Use different types of pressure. Lead your line. Don't fight: you only hit once. Don't be stubborn: you don't need the little things.
Among the many different options for a negotiation scenario, the option of psychological suppression of the interlocutor is one of the most common. It is used especially often when the position of one side is obviously superior to the other, or as a continuation of insistence on one’s own, after a soft position of communication. In the first case, this is usually active pressure from the very beginning of the dialogue between people, excessive self-confidence, pre-prepared arguments in one’s favor, the use of the third voice mode - loud, clear expressive speech, with an emphasis on the main points, with frequent interruption of the interlocutor, a grin or even a laugh over his words. All this suppresses the interlocutor, makes him worry and nervous, doubt himself, feel discomfort and aggression on your part.
Very often, this type of negotiation gives a positive result, but not in the case when your interlocutor behaves similarly, and therefore it is fundamental for him not to give in to you, even to the detriment of his own interests. And also if your dialogue does not solve the problem immediately, then the person may change his mind and most likely will do just that, despite the initial concession. This can also be called the Chinese “yes”, which later turns out to be the word “no”. If we consider the second option of using this method of putting pressure on the interlocutor, then it is also very often used, especially in law enforcement agencies. You've probably watched films where the concept of an evil and a good policeman was often used. Two people play opposing roles, thereby forcing the person to agree to more lenient conditions. This really has a wonderful effect on the human psyche, and this technique can be used independently.
You can start with a soft position, and if they do not yield to you, switch to a hard one, with psychological suppression of the interlocutor, using the methods that I described above. Or, on the contrary, you can start with a hard position, suppress your interlocutor until a certain point, and then take a soft position, all with the same conditions beneficial to you. For your interlocutor, this will be an excellent alternative to resolve a tense situation, to remove the burden that you have placed on him. All these methods give positive results, especially with insecure people who are not used to losing. The effectiveness of psychological pressure on the interlocutor is, of course, quite high, but it is worth remembering that people really don’t like being pressured, no matter what their character.
If you are negotiating a deal or signing an agreement, after which your interlocutor will fade into the background, then using pressure will be appropriate. Any showdowns and verbal skirmishes can also be effectively resolved by putting pressure on the opponent. But if your goal is long-term cooperation with people on whom your well-being will depend, then I do not recommend using psychological pressure in this case. You can demonstrate high self-confidence, people like it, especially women who see a man, first of all, as a strong male.
There is no need to show aggression or disrespect towards your interlocutor; this is bad for long-term cooperation. The confidence alone that you demonstrate can overwhelm your interlocutor, especially if you have a lot of arguments in your favor and, again, use the third voice mode, that is, a loud and clear voice, with an emphasis on the right things. Never doubt yourself, and in your speech, at least don’t show it, otherwise psychological pressure will be used against you. This can certainly be resisted, and I will definitely write about how to do it.
But the most important thing I want to tell you is that there is no one hundred percent guarantee for any communication tactic; they all have their pros and cons. Psychological pressure is, of course, very effective in most cases, but it also happens that it is harmful and does not lead to anything other than a negative attitude towards you and a severance of all ties with you. Therefore, try to look for the most acceptable communication option, appropriate in each specific situation, which is mainly aimed at obtaining a positive result for you.
