At the beginning of the new year, we met with one of the first Moscow enthusiasts of healthy eating and part-time founder of the Fresh restaurant chain (not so long ago, the network was replenished with a third cafe in Zhukovka. - Approx. ed.) Irina Azarova and talked about the main myths associated with healthy eating, the five main products in the sports menu, the controversial dangers of gluten, local superfoods and, of course, post-holiday detox.
About food awareness
We at Fresh stand for a conscious approach. The choice of food is an internal dialogue with your body, the search for an answer to the question of what suits you and what does not. You need to constantly monitor this process, ask yourself: how do I feel, how much this product or dish saturates me with energy, and most importantly, of course, was it tasty for me? Because if you don’t like it, no matter how super-healthy and thoughtful your diet is, you won’t be able to follow it for a long time.
About sports nutrition without animal protein
Vegetarian sports nutrition is a very working story. The main thing is to approach it competently and with understanding. Obviously, sport involves huge energy costs and to maintain strength, you need to maintain the right balance of proteins, fats and carbohydrates. I never tire of repeating that health is not for the lazy. Your diet must be carefully planned.
Now we are working on launching a small sports menu: there will be programs for both cutting and mass gaining. I know many vegetarian athletes, and the absence of meat in the diet does not affect their achievements in any way. I recently studied at the Matthew Kenney California culinary school in LA, and so the course of vegetarian sports nutrition was developed there by a two-time biathlon world champion. You can probably imagine what loads this sport involves. He looks great, full of energy, he has a great body, he has published several books, and hosts author's programs on television. By his example, he refutes the myths that intense sports training is impossible without consuming a huge amount of animal protein.
About the five main productsnew sports menu
First of all, it is natural coconut. Now everyone drinks coconut water, coconut milk, but they undeservedly ignore the flesh of the coconut. But in vain! It is very powerful in its nutritional properties. We are recently launching a new product - super yogurt, which will be based on coconut pulp. It is very tasty!
Definitely nuts. Yes, they are considered quite high-calorie, but I want to emphasize that rigorous calorie counting is not our story. If you exercise a lot, then naturally you need nutrients from different foods. First of all, it is important to pay attention not to calories, but to the balance of proteins, fats and carbohydrates.
Tofu, tempeh and seitan. Tofu has the lowest protein content, followed by tempeh and then seitan with the highest protein content. The first two products are derived from the fermentation of soybeans; seitan (also called vegetarian meat) is made from wheat protein. Seitan is a very popular product, used in the menu of many vegetarian restaurants in the world. We want to acquaint our consumers with this product, so we are very actively introducing it into our menu. Our seitan burger is a hit. I highly recommend trying it.
About local superfoods
I always advise you to pay attention not only to overseas superfoods, but also to our local ones. This is all our greens: parsley, cilantro, dill, fresh basil. And also berries: cranberries, sea buckthorn. Berries and herbs that grow in our latitudes are certainly more useful for us than those imported.
We are always looking for something new. For example, everyone knows about acai and guarana, it is believed that they give a powerful invigorating effect, energize. But after all, we also have our own tonic superfoods - for example, Rhodiola rosea, which grows in Altai, and the forgotten herb gout. Rhodiola is highly recommended for those who are preparing for exams or are engaged in intense mental work: it helps to quickly activate all the resources of the body, it is very stimulating. We use it in our drinks.
A shot of sleepweed can invigorate just as much as coffee, I highly recommend it.
About healthy breakfasts
Smoothies give the best charge for the whole day. The main thing is not to worry about any special combinations. Experiment more! Smoothies give a very prolonged effect: after all, they were originally invented by surfers who needed a powerful and lasting boost of energy before they went to sea. After drinking a smoothie in the morning, you can quite easily hold out until lunch.
For those who lack this and who do not have the task of losing weight, I would recommend cereals. If there is no time in the morning, take oatmeal, fill it with milk that you like - almond, coconut or soy - at night and put it in the refrigerator. In the morning, you can add a pinch of chia or the same goji berries - that's it! Your breakfast is ready.
My favorite morning dessert is chia seed pudding. In general, I adore them, I add them everywhere, including salads. They go especially well with oils, such as linseed.
Another one of my favorite breakfasts is avocado toast. It is just as easy to make: mash an avocado with a fork, sprinkle with lemon, seasonings to taste, plus your favorite whole grain bread.
About what the body lacks in autumn and winter
In winter and autumn, I try to add more vegetables and root vegetables to the menu, harvested in the summer and charged by the sun. Pumpkin is one of the universal products: it can be added to cereals, soups, and salads. I also recommend celery root, parsnip, parsley root.
To effectively fight viruses, pay attention to berries and fruits high in vitamin C - sea buckthorn, oranges and lemons. At Fresh, we make a special mix of fruits loaded with vitamin C, heat it up a little and add echinacea, for example. Works better than any antiviral drug.
Cayenne pepper is also good, it acts on the upper respiratory tract almost like warming up.
And don't forget the honey!
Did you also know that beetroot combined with vitamin C and ginger gives an effect no worse than liquid collagen, which everyone is now so actively using? But there are absolutely natural analogues that are easy to find in a regular supermarket.
How to bounce back after a long holiday
One of the proven ways is wheatgrass shot, these are young wheat sprouts. It acts as a dropper, that is, it removes everything unnecessary, including alcohol. You can make it at home, if you get confused and buy the right auger juicer.
Another simple tip: drink more water. It always works.
About gluten and lactose
If you are not allergic to lactose, then there is little point in giving it up.
For the rest, there are a huge variety of varieties of nut milk. We are very proud of the almond milk we make ourselves. You can drink it just like that or add it to cereals. And what remains of the almonds after, we mix, for example, with flaxseed and make our signature crispbread. Such a completely waste-free production.
With gluten, as with lactose, everything is very individual. Now in the States and here, too, it is gradually turning into some kind of universal horror story. However, not everyone fully understands what it is and how it affects the body. In the meantime, you need to listen only to your feelings. If the question worries you and you cannot track it yourself, take the tests in the end and calm down! If you do not belong to people with gluten intolerance, then calmly eat your morning cereals and your favorite bread, this will definitely not do any harm.
About yoga alternative
On a recent trip to California, I first tried the practice of tightrope walking. This is an amazing experience: at the same time you have to be very concentrated on one point, but at the same time your body is as relaxed as possible - because you need to balance.
This training would be very useful for us in everyday life, when you are constantly at work, you must be focused on the goal, but at the same time remain flexible and stress-resistant. To do this, you need to be able to relax correctly at the right time.
In my life I have cared about many people and many things. And I didn’t worry too much about many people and many things. And this steam makes a big difference.
People often think that the key to self-confidence and success in life is simply not to give a damn. In fact, when we talk about the strong, amazing people we know, we often mention the amount of steam they expend. Like: "Oh, look, Sveta has a working weekend again, and she doesn't sweat it." Or: "Did you hear Anton called the director of the firm a jerk and got promoted anyway? Hell, he doesn't care at all." Or "Yasha said goodbye to Sarah 20 minutes after the start of the date. He said that he was not going to listen to her nonsense anymore. This guy does not take a steam bath at all."
Surely you have friends who do not take a steam bath and do amazing things. Perhaps there was a time in your life when you simply did not take a steam bath and reached unprecedented heights. I ( Mark Manson, article author) know that when I quit my day job six weeks into it and told my boss I was going to start giving online counseling, that act ranked pretty high on my personal "non-vaping" rating. The same goes for my decision to sell most of my property and move to South America. Did I steam? No. Just took it and did it.
But if on the surface the task of not bathing looks simple, then inside it is a whole bag of burritos. I don't know what the meaning of this phrase is, but I'm not worried. A bag of burritos sounds nice, so let it be here.
The fact is that most of us steam too much throughout our lives in situations where steam is not needed at all. We are worried about the rude cashier who gave us change in too small denominations. We freak out when our favorite show is canceled on TV. We sweat when our co-workers aren't interested in how great we had a weekend. We bathe when it rains, and we were going to go for a morning run.
Steam is everywhere. As if we are all in the bath and regularly go to the steam room. And for what? For what purpose? Facilities? Comfort? Maybe just for a pat on the back?
That's the problem, friends.
Because if we sweat too much, if we decide to sweat about everything, then we believe that we have the right to constant comfort and happiness, and because of this we have to sweat.
Indeed, the ability to save our steam only for the most worthy situations will make our life much less of a hell. Failure won't be so bad. Rejection won't hurt as much. Unpleasant duties are not so unpleasant and oversalted scrambled eggs are not so salty. What I'm saying is that if we use less steam, or if we use more steam consciously, then life will definitely become easier.
We don't realize that there is a subtle art to not sweating. People are not born with the ability not to sweat. In fact, we are born open to constant soaring. Have you ever seen a child cry because his hat is the wrong color? Exactly. But let's not worry about this child.
Developing the ability to control and manage your vapor is the foundation of strength and integrity. We must develop and hone the ability not to bathe for years and decades. Like expensive wine, our vapor must be kept sealed and only opened on rare special occasions.
This may seem easy. But it's not easy. Most of us get sucked into life's petty, unimportant dramas, we live and die in a lot of minor, distracting events and news that make us sweat like a crowd of Sasha Grey's men.
This is the wrong way to live, friends. So stop fiddling around. Keep steam to yourself. And now I will explain it to you in detail.
Subtlety #1: Not caring doesn't mean being indifferent; it means no discomfort in being different.
When people imagine how it is not to bathe, they see a perfect and serene indifference to everything, a calm that can withstand any storms.
It's a delusion. There is nothing remarkable or reassuring about indifference. Indifferent people are crippled and scared. These are homebodies and Internet trolls. In fact, indifferent people often tend to be indifferent precisely because in reality they tend to sweat too much. They fear the world and the consequences of their choices. Therefore they don't do it. They hide in a gray, emotionless pit of their own making, self-centered and self-indulgent, distracting themselves from this unpleasant, time-consuming, energy-consuming thing called life.
My mother was somehow swindled by her close friend out of a large sum of money. If I were indifferent, I would shrug my shoulders, drink a cup of coffee and download myself a new series of "Game of Thrones". I'm sorry mom. But instead, I got angry. I was angry. I said, "No, fuck him, mom, we'll go to a lawyer and punish this bastard. Why? Because I don't give a damn. I'll ruin this bastard's life if necessary."
This illustrates the first subtlety of the art of not bathing. When we say, "Damn, you gotta be careful, Mark Manson doesn't give a damn," we don't mean that Mark Manson (the author of the article) doesn't care about anything, on the contrary, we mean that Mark Manson doesn't worry about getting in trouble in the face of his goals, he doesn't worry that he might piss some people off by doing what he thinks is right or important or worthy. We mean that Mark Manson is the kind of person who writes about himself in the third person and uses the word "worry" instead of "worry" simply because he thinks it's the right thing to do. He doesn't flinch.
That's what's amazing here - no, not me, the stupid author of the article, but the victory over troubles. The ability to look trouble in the face and show them the middle finger in response. People who don't care about failure, or trouble, or embarrassment, or shame. People who just laugh and then do it anyway. Because they know it's right. They know it's more important than they and their feelings, their pride, their needs. They say "fuck it" not to everything in life, but to everything unimportant in life. They save their steam for what really matters. Friends. Family. Target. Coffee with cigarettes. A couple of lawsuits. And because they only save their steam for essential things, other people steam up about them in return.
Subtlety #2: In order not to worry about trouble, you must worry about something more important than trouble.
Eric Hoffer once wrote: "A person worries about his own affairs if they are worth worrying about. If not, then he does not worry about insignificant matters and begins to worry about the affairs of other people."
The problem with people who steam like geysers for any reason is that they don't have anything better to put their steam into.
Imagine for a second. You are at the grocery store. An elderly lady yells at the cashier for refusing to accept her coupon for a 30-ruble discount. Why is this lady freaking out? It's only 30 rubles.
Well, I'll tell you why. Nothing is more important to this old lady than to sit and cut coupons out of newspapers. She is old and lonely. Her children are goonies and never visit her. She hasn't had sex in a long time. Her pension is nearly all spent and she'll probably die in a diaper thinking she's in Wonderland. She can't bend over without back pain. She can't even watch TV for more than 15 minutes without falling asleep or forgetting the plot. So she cuts out coupons. This is all she has. Just her and her coupons. All day, every day. That's all she can care about because there's nothing else she can care about. And when a pimply 17-year-old cashier refuses to take one of them, when he defends the order in his cashier, as a knight would defend the honor of a beautiful lady, you can bet that the lady is going to rebel and verbally destroy him. Eighty years of experience in soaring will be revealed in all its glory, bringing the world around her to tears with the help of a creaky and breaking voice.
If you see yourself constantly worrying about trivial stuff - a new avatar of an ex-girlfriend, the speed with which the batteries in your phone are running low, a missed detergent sale, then most likely you don’t have many reasons in your life to worry justifiably. And therein lies your real problem. Not in detergent.
She sweats too much
In life, we must spend our steam on something. In fact, you can not bathe. The only question is how each of us manages his steam. You have a limited amount of steam in your life, so spend it carefully. As my father used to say, "Mark, you can't buy steam in the store." Okay, he didn't actually say that. But let's not sweat it, imagine what he said. The bottom line is that steam needs to be saved and then invested wisely. Steam needs to be cared for like flowers in a greenhouse, because if you let off too much steam, there won't be any left to steam when you need it, and you won't steam.
Subtlety #3: We have a limited amount of steam, be careful where, when and who you steam about.
When we are young, we have a lot of energy. Everything is new and exciting for us. And everything looks to matter. Therefore, we worry about everything and everyone - about what people say about us, about whether this cute guy or girl will call us back, and about what color balloon is better to inflate on our birthday.
As we grow older, we gain experience and discover that most of these things have only had a short-term value in our lives. The opinions of the people we cared about have long since disappeared from our lives. Past romantic failures no longer bother us. We understand how little attention people really pay to minor details about us, and we focus on doing things for ourselves and not for others.
In essence, we become more selective about when and what we care about. This is what is called maturity. It's not a bad thing, try it. Maturity is when you have learned to take a steam bath only about what is worthy of it. Like Lieutenant Rzhevsky in a joke: "But you can get punched in the face for this!" - "You can. But I usually screw it."
Then, as we get older and reach middle age, something else changes. Our energy level is decreasing. Our personality hardens. We know who we are and no longer want to change what seems inevitable in life. And in a strange way it gives freedom. We don't have to worry about everything anymore. Life is what it is. We accept it with all its features. We understand that we will not fly to the moon and touch Jennifer Aniston's boobs. And that's okay, life goes on. Now we save our couples only for really worthy areas of our lives: for family, for friends, for preference on Sundays. And, to our surprise, that's enough. This simplification makes us really happy.
And then one day, much later, we wake up and find ourselves old. And both our chewing gum and sexual drive, and our willingness to take a steam bath, receded somewhere. And then we lead a paradoxical existence in which we can no longer care about big things, and instead we direct steam towards simple and mundane but more difficult aspects of life: where to eat, when to see a doctor for joints, where to get a coupon for a 30-ruble discount, and how to drive a car without the risk of falling asleep at the wheel. practical problems.
And on our deathbed, surrounded (hopefully) by the people we cared about the most, and the few who cared about us to this day, we will blow off steam for the last time and through tears, the fading squeak of heart monitor signals and the weakening fluorescent lighting of the hospital, we will soar into a new incomprehensible world without soaring.
Perhaps the only article you will need to learn the subtle art of scoring and enjoy life!
In my life, I have given up on many people and many things. I also didn't give a damn about a lot of people and a lot of things. And the only difference was in my attitude.
People often say that the key to confidence and success in life is simple: don't sweat it. Indeed, we often refer to strong, respected people in terms of their ability to score. “Ah, look, Susie works weekends again and doesn’t care,” or “Did you hear that Tom called the president of the company an asshole and still got a promotion? Damn, this dude really doesn't care," or "Jason got up and ended his date with Cindy in 20 minutes. He said he wasn't going to listen to that nonsense anymore. This guy really knows how to score."
Chances are you know someone in your life who shrugs off other people's opinions from time to time and achieves amazing results. Perhaps there was a time in your life when you also scored on someone else's opinion and achieved a lot. I know from my own experience that quitting my job in finance after only six weeks and telling my boss that I'm going to start running an online dating site is one of the coolest "bumps" I've ever had. The same can be said about the decision to sell most of my real estate and move to South America. Did I steam? No. Just took it and did it.
Now the ability to ignore other people's opinions seems as natural to me as a full bag of burritos under my hood. I don't even know what that sentence means, but I don't care. “Bag full of burritos” sounds great, so I just take it with me and move on.
The fact is that most of us throughout life attach importance to things that are not worth it. We're freaking out over a rude gas station attendant who gave us too many coins. We take a steam bath when our favorite show is no longer shown on TV. We sweat when our colleagues don't ask us about our wonderful weekend. We are steaming when we were going to go running in the morning, but it started to rain.
Reasons to worry are everywhere. Scattered like fucking seeds in the spring. And for what purpose? For what reason? Convenience? Comfort? A pat on the back, maybe?
Here's the problem, my friend.
Because when we worry too much, when we choose to worry about everything, even if we get into comfortable and happy conditions, life will find a way to trip us up.
Indeed, the ability to sweat only in those situations that are really worth it will make life a hell of a lot easier. Defeat won't be so scary. Rejection will be less painful. Unpleasant obligations will become a little more pleasant, and tasteless sandwiches will seem a little tastier. I mean, if we scored more often, or only cared about the things that are worth it, our life would be much easier.
What we cannot understand is the existence of the art of scoring. People are not born bullies. In fact, when we are born, at first we worry about everything. Have you ever seen a child cry because his hat is the wrong shade of blue? Exactly. Fuck this kid.
By developing the ability to control the things that you will (or will not) worry about, you become a more whole person. We must develop and hone this skill over decades. Like fine wine, our worries should be corked and hidden in safe places, from which they should be taken only on special occasions.
It just sounds easy. In fact, everything is not so simple. Many of us spend most of our time exhausted by mundane trifles and involved in absolutely wacky dramas. We live and die as outcasts, tired of petty vicissitudes of fate and misadventures, squeezed like a lemon, like Sasha Gray in one of her early films.
Trick #1: "Don't give a damn" is not the same as "being indifferent"; it means "to feel comfortable being different"
When people think about quitting, they imagine a perfect and calm indifference to all life's storms.
This is mistake. There is absolutely nothing cool about indifference. Indifferent people are frightened and weak. They are homebodies and internet trolls. In fact, indifferent people are only trying to appear indifferent, because in reality they bother too much. They fear the world and the consequences of their own decisions. So they don't do anything. They hide in their own dullness and lack of emotion. They are self-centered, self-pitying, constantly moving away from the miserable and time-consuming and energy-consuming thing that life is.
My mother was cheated out of a large sum of money by a close friend. If I had been indifferent, I would have shrugged, sipped some more mochas, and loaded up another season of The Wire. I'm sorry mom.
But instead, I was outraged. I was angry. I said, "No, Mom, we'll get a cool lawyer and smash that asshole." Why? Because I won't let myself be stabbed. I'll ruin this guy's life if I have to. I don't care what it looks like, I'll do it"
This illustrates the first subtlety of scoring. When we say "Damn, look, Mark Manson won't get hurt" we don't mean that Mark Manson doesn't care about anything; on the contrary, it means that he does not care about adversity in the context of his goals; he doesn't think about annoying other people in order to feel more confident, important, or noble. We mean Mark Manson is the type of guy who, when referring to himself in the third person, uses the word one swear word 127 times just because he thinks it's the right thing to do. He will not let himself be offended.
What is admirable is the technique of overcoming adversity. I admire people who look rejection straight in the face and give it their middle finger. People who don't give a damn about adversity or disaster or being in an awkward situation. These people just laugh and go ahead. Because they know it's right. They know it's more important than their own feelings and their pride and their needs. They say “To hell!”, but not to everything in their life, but only to those things that deserve it! They don't only score on things that are really not worth scoring. Friends. Family. Purpose in life. Burrito. And a lawsuit or two. And, just because they pay attention only to those things and people who deserve it, people reciprocate them.
Trick #2: Before you can't worry about a minor problem, you'll have to worry about something more important than it.
Eric Hoffer once wrote: “One does more with one's own affairs when they make sense; otherwise, he abandons his senseless affairs and climbs into others'.
The problem with those people who create so many things to worry about is that they have nothing more worthwhile to bother with.
Think for a second. You are at the grocery store. And the old lady yells at the cashier for not accepting her 30 cent coupon. Why is this woman freaking out? It's only 30 cents.
Well, I'll tell you why. This old lady probably has no more interesting things to do than sit at home and cut coupons all morning. She is old and lonely. Her kids are idiots who don't visit her. She hasn't had sex for thirty years. Her pension is on its last legs, and she herself will most likely die in a diaper, thinking that she has landed in Candyland. She can’t even watch TV normally without falling asleep for 15 minutes and forgetting the storyline.
So she cuts out the coupons. This is all she has. It's her and her damn coupons. All day, every day. That's all she can worry about, because she has nothing else to worry about. So when this 17-year-old pimply cashier, defending the cleanliness of his cash register like knights defended the virginity of their beautiful ladies, refuses to accept a coupon, you can bet that the granny will turn into the Hulk and verbally destroy the boy. Eighty years of problems on various occasions will shed a stream of indignation “Live to my days” and “People are used to showing more respect”, which managed to bother the whole world, like her tears and her raspy voice.
If you find yourself constantly freaking out about stuff like your ex's new Facebook profile picture, how fast the batteries in your TV remote are dying, the fact that you missed out on a two-in-one hand sanitizer sale, there probably aren't many things going on in your life that are worth worrying about. And this is your real problem. Not hand sanitizer.
When you can't score.
In life, our worries must be spent on something. There really is no such thing as the art of scoring. The question is different: what will you be soaring about. In this life, you have been allocated a limited number of nerve cells, so spend them wisely. As my father used to say, "Drivers don't grow on trees." Yes, he never said that. But, damn it, let's pretend we did. The bottom line is that nerves need to be spent wisely.
Trick #3: In our life we have a limited number of nerve cells: pay attention to who and what you spend them on
When we are young, we are full of energy. Everything is so new and exciting. It seems that every thing means so much. In general, we take a steam bath with or without a reason. We care about everything and everyone - about what people say about us, about whether this cute guy / this hottie will call us back, about whether our socks match the color of balloons on our birthday.
When we get older and get enough experience, we notice that most things do not have such a strong influence on our lives. The people whose opinions we once worried about so much have long since left our lives. We found love, and so the romantic rejections of the past didn't mean anything to us. We understand how little attention people pay to information about us, and we focus on things that are important to us, and not to others.
In essence, we become selective about the nerves we are willing to spend. This is called maturity. It's great, I recommend you try it. Maturity is when you care only about what is really worth it. As Bank Morland said in The Wire (which I'm still fucking rocking) to his partner, the McNulty detectives: "Here's what you get when you mess up where it's not your turn to bother."
Then, as we get older and reach middle age, something else starts to change. Our energy level drops. Our personality is ossified. We know who we are and we no longer have the desire to change what seems inevitable in our lives.
And in a strange way it liberates. We don't have to worry about everything anymore. Life is what it is. We accept it with all imperfections. We understand that we will never cure cancer, fly to the moon and touch Jennifer Aniston's breasts. And that's okay. Life goes on, damn it! Now we reserve the right to be nervous only for those deserving reasons: our family, our friends, golf ... And, to our surprise, that's enough. Simplification makes life really happy.
Then one day, much later, we wake up old. And along with our gums, our ability to score recedes to a point of nonexistence. The twilight of our lives is a paradoxical time when we don’t care about important things, but instead we bother about what used to seem simple and mundane, like: where to eat, what doctors prescribed for our creaky joints, 30-cent discounts at the supermarket, driving without drifting, etc. You know, practical problems.
And one day, on your deathbed, I hope, surrounded by loved ones who were really worth worrying about, and those who care about us, we will get rid of the last reasons for excitement with a quiet sigh. Through the tears and the fading lights of our heart monitor, we will go to some place where there is really nothing to worry about.
Sad Shit... That's the first thought that came to my mind about the guy who sent in his questions. Perhaps this would be the best motivation for him. How can you even be such a confused, worthless and unpromising type? What is he even doing in my positive email?
But after about an hour of trying to answer his questions, philosophical reflections on the types of my subscribers, and packing chocolate gingerbread with herbal tea, I still came to the conclusion that these are great questions that can creep into the head of absolutely any of my subscribers.
By the way, if you have an urgent question that I can help you with, ask it through my telegramm channel. Many times more useful content awaits you on it than in the mailing list and even here on the blog 🙂
So here are the questions I got from N.:
1) In the past, I had a lot of punctures with girls, and now I just warn myself against getting moral injuries, insults ...
2) I have an old car, and I feel insecure when I think that a beautiful girl will not get in there ...
3) I have no friends, I am not sociable and not sociable, and when meeting a girl, she will be interested in who I am, who are my friends ...
So here is my overclock.
Remember your childhood. How easy and carefree it was for you in it. You were like a blank slate, absorbing everything the world gave you. Playing with a girl in the sandbox, playing hide and seek, or running around the street was not at all scary. It was just because you were identical to your desires. But at some point social programming started turning you into a social zombie. You were told and shown that girls need to be looked after, give gifts, and try in every possible way to earn their favor. You came up with your feelings to some girl, for example, in the first grade, and she behaved inappropriately. For example, she rejected you, laughed at you, or pushed you away.
Now think about why she did it? And continues to do it on the knurled, becoming an adult? Yes, because she has no idea how to behave with men! Mom said not to give, so I won't! If you give to everyone, then the giveaway will end soon. I will protect her! For whom? For the prince.
So she thinks until a normal man appears next to her, with the correct behavior of a seducer. He will know what he wants, will behave confidently and adequately. What if this is the same man, narrowed mummer? And she forgets about the other suitors, joining the game.
If you behave like you are not worthy, hesitate, hesitate, worry about past failures, then you are your own evil pinocchio (an enemy to yourself). You will get the result that suits you only if you stop sweating and associating yourself with that Dull Shit that you used to be. Choose to treat yourself like a normal man despite past failures. You can choose it at any time! Even this second, even tomorrow morning! You are a conscious person, which means you are free to make a choice. Choose to put one brick into your wall of success with girls every day. It's easy. Every day is a little effort on yourself. Drive away bad thoughts, they pull you back. They want you to watch porn instead of practicing dating. Similar thoughts prevent you from getting ready for a workout in the gym, doing hobbies, communicating with other people, going on a trip that you have long dreamed of.
How would I start a letter like this:
To my inner sucker from Yegor Sheremetyev
Hello lol!
I am writing this letter to you in order to tell you everything that has accumulated over the years, while you live in me. I am very tired of your presence and of your destructive activities. Because of you, I passed dozens of times all these beautiful sexy girls that I could meet and seduce. I think that among them, I forever missed a few Nastenek, with whom I would have had an amazing relationship full of sex and love. And the case when for several days in a row I was embarrassed to approach Nastya at the university, and when I approached, I could not say a word? I looked like a complete jerk! Do you think I'll forgive you for this?
(a couple more pages of heartbreak)
It's time to say goodbye to you and forever throw you into the dustbin of history. I'm leaving you and don't even dare to come back to me, I won't accept you. Disappear from my life forever, then our paths diverge.
Date: 25.04 Signature: Egor Sheremetiev
After you write this letter, burn it and flush the ashes down the toilet. Now you are free from this useless sucker who ruined everything! Congratulations! Now a much freer life awaits you.
Of course, I cannot promise you that tomorrow you will have a girlfriend and a life full of sex. To do this, you must work on yourself, practice and never whine. Weaklings whine in company with their internal suckers, and now you are not like that 🙂
I would be very interested to know how you feel after you wrote a letter to the inner sucker and destroyed it. I ask you, if you are not a bun who is too lazy to do all this, write in the comments below your feelings or words of gratitude, how this technique helped you. Thank you friend!
Very often in our life there are stressful situations in which our consciousness seems to be completely disconnected from the usual routine of affairs, and the brain begins to drive. You begin to scroll through some problem in your head over and over again, you conduct some kind of internal dialogue: “What would happen if everything turned out differently?”, “How could I answer differently in this situation?”, “What should I have done?” and so on.
But at some point you start to want to get rid of these thoughts. You want to be able to do useful and interesting things already. I want to give you some tips to help you with this. Here is the algorithm of actions:
Step 1: acceptance
Stop, stop banging your head against the wall, if you did, of course, and just be silent for one minute. Try not to think about anything. Count to ten, a hundred, or a thousand, depending on the size of your problem.
Now that your nervous system has more or less calmed down, think about the fact that everything that happened has already happened. You can't change that. It makes no sense to take a steam bath and think how it was possible to fix everything. In hindsight, we're all incredibly smart, aren't we? But until we figured out how to travel back in time, we can't change anything in the past until then.
Step 2: planning next steps
If your problem is purely emotional in nature, for example, someone stepped on your foot in the subway, then the following points are useless to you. But there are some problems that still need to be addressed. Think about whether you can change something in the future. If yes, then everything is fine. This is a matter of technology. Imagine it and just bring it to life.
If you are not able to solve this problem, then also do not worry. For what's the point of worrying about something that you can't influence in any way? You don't give a damn about the fact that in a billion years the sun will go out, do you? So, it's the same here!
Step 3: clearing the mind of the problem
If you are not a yogi, or at least you don’t know how, and your brain is still busy sucking your problem in the background, then the best thing you can do is to occupy your brain with some other problem. Fight fire with fire. Lose a couple of dollars in online poker, for example.
Yes, with this money you could buy something useful, but now you will not worry about the problem that bothered you some time ago, but because you lost money. But you won't sweat it too hard, because money is just money, . But you can not lose this money, but win at poker and a lot of it. Then you will generally have a great mood, and all your problems will go to hell.
And if you can’t afford such an expensive pleasure, just get distracted and occupy your brain with at least something that causes at least some strong emotions in you. Watch a talk show, shout out the window, chat on social networks, in a word, do at least something. Your problem will go away in time.
Step 4: Using Your Negative Energy to Your Benefit
How to do it? For example, your humble servant today took part in some kind of conflict, but did not engage in self-flagellation, but took and wrote this article. And now he feels much better.
