Your child is already almost quite an adult, next year he will already be in school. But abruptly, he begins to behave badly, does not listen to you at all and wants to do everything in his own way. According to psychologists, children have several crises, which indicate that the child's psyche is developing correctly.

Therefore, there is no need to be afraid of the crisis of 6-7 years. For every child, it comes at its own time, but you should not worry too much about it. You just need to be patient and help your child survive. This article will tell you about the crisis of 6-7 years, its symptoms and psychological meaning. And also at the end of the article, advice will be given on how best to behave parents in relation to the child.

Crisis symptoms 6-7 years

the child refuses to do what he liked before; he ceases to obey;
trying to mimic you on purpose;
some little things can bring him to hysterics;
on any topic, the child is ready to argue with you for hours;
becomes capricious, whiny;
shows shyness, strong self-doubt.

The psychological meaning of the crisis of 6–7 years in a child

It is during this period that the child develops the concept of what consequences this or that act can cause. Previously, he could not assess the outcome of his actions, but now he understands that if he splashes in a puddle, he will be all wet and dirty. If he drops the cup, it will break;
The child is looking for his place in this world. He tries to try on the role of an adult, but if earlier it was childish, now it is clear that he is doing it on purpose. It may seem a little rude and ugly, but he needs it;
during this period, the child develops self-esteem. If earlier he considered himself good and everyone had to communicate with him. Now he understands that the attitude of children towards him is different, he knows what is good in him and what is bad;
the child wants to live in a completely different way, but does not yet understand how. He has a desire, but he does not know how to continue to live and what to do;
children begin to understand their feelings and experiences;
The child is eager to learn and learn something new. He is no longer interested in playing as before, he wants something new;
he wants to be independent. He wants to do things his own way, not the way you tell him to. It is not necessary to scold him for this, because, perhaps, his way of performing an action is no worse than yours;
now the child is able to control his behavior, consciously follows all the rules and can behave as he should in public places;
the child's memory also becomes much better. If earlier it was “short”, now he already remembers everything that happens to him and can remember it all his life;
the child is still pleased with fairy tales, but he will no longer believe in the reality of magical characters;
the child can now explain why he is happy and why he is sad.

Useful tips for parents on how to behave with children

If you constantly push with your rules, prohibitions and screams at the child, then only aggravate the situation. After all, right now the self-esteem of the child is being formed and what it will depend on you.

Read more literature on how best to behave with a child during this period. The old communication with the child becomes impossible, so now you need a different approach to your child.

Try to constantly support the child, help him when he asks. There is no need to establish any strict prohibitions, because you can always find compromises.

Let the child speak, do not interrupt him and shout. He must express his feelings, explain them to you. Even if something is wrong, try to calmly and without shouting explain to the children how to do it and why it is so right.

Give your child more freedom. He's almost an adult now. Perhaps the time has come when he can sit at home for a couple of hours alone. Or maybe feed himself, teach him how to use the microwave. Trust him with some household chores. He should feel needed, emphasize the importance of the things he does. So he will understand that you need and feel responsible.

If the child wants to go somewhere, do something together, then do not refuse him. Try to allocate as much time as possible for joint entertainment. After all, the child is interested in everything, he wants to find his place and for this strive to learn everything as much as possible.

All habits and self-esteem are formed from childhood, so it depends only on you how your child will grow up.

Why does the crisis come in 5 years?

With normal development, by the age of five, the baby no longer speaks badly and is able to talk about his needs. The child really wants to seem big, to be like adults. You can often watch how he peeps or eavesdrops on their conversations, he is also interested in being in a circle of peers.

The brain is already quite developed, and the baby is able to control his emotions. He understands that boys and girls are different. It is common for a child at this age to show imagination and have their own opinion about the world around them. This period is characterized by the most vivid manifestation of character traits.

Children are interested in everything that happens around them, they can even tell fictional stories. At the age of 5, it is important for a child to communicate with other children, but he does not always achieve this, which may cause him to be alone. Sometimes he just does not have the opportunity to talk to someone about it.

All this can cause a crisis in which the child becomes too capricious and hysterical. So that the baby does not withdraw into himself and easily survive the crisis, he must be in comfortable conditions for him and always feel the support of adults.

The child is closed, does not want or cannot talk to anyone - another circumstance indicating a crisis

Be patient, because everything is in your power. Do not immediately seek help from a psychologist or other specialist. Otherwise, because of strangers, the child may be even more frightened.

How long can a crisis last?

It is impossible to predict exactly when a difficult period will come. It can last from several weeks to several months, it all depends on the individual characteristics of each child. However, there is no need to give up, give the baby time, support him, surround him with care and love. In difficult moments, the child especially needs your attention and affection.

Signs of the beginning of the crisis

The crisis of five years has distinctive features by which it can be distinguished from other crises in a child's life:

if the baby suddenly became less talkative, withdrawn, stopped sharing with you the joy of his successes and achievements, although he did it before;
if the child behaves insecurely, looks scared, afraid of everything new and unknown;
the baby gets irritated and angry over trifles, speaks rudely with adults or with his peers (for example, he may get angry if you did not give him his favorite toy);
the child began to throw tantrums over trifles, cry and act up for a long time (for example, he may be annoyed by the fact that he is forced to sleep during the daytime);
too often the child copies the manners of adults and grimaces (depicts mom in the process of cooking or cleaning, or how dad repairs something);
the kid defends his independence, wants to be on a par with adults, demands more freedom (expresses a desire that parents do not walk with him on the street).

During this period, the child everywhere and everywhere tries to be independent.

The crisis is still unavoidable, so try to make this process easier for your baby. Pay more attention to him, take part in joint games, give him your love and affection. Do not take his whims and tantrums too seriously, because you have more experience and you are responsible for your baby.

In this difficult period for the baby, Dr. Komarovsky urges parents to act gently, but at the same time persistently. The biggest mistake of adults is to threaten and punish the baby when he is naughty. This is not a way out of the current situation. Komarovsky recommends adhering to the following tips:

find out the reason for this behavior, perhaps the child simply does not have enough of your attention;
create a comfortable and calm environment;
try to figure out the problem the child is having and offer to solve it together;
never show your anger and irritation;
do not scold or yell at the baby during whims and tantrums, wait until he calms down and talk to him calmly.

Attention and care will help to establish a warm relationship with the child

What should parents do?

Parents often do not know what to do in such a situation. You just need to follow some rules, and you will achieve a positive result. First, you need to find out the cause of the crisis:

the child wants to seem like an adult, but it does not work out for him;
at the age of five, children try to learn to control their emotions;
kids begin to understand the difference between the opposite sex;
children fantasize, and they have a different opinion about life.

Parents must adhere to the following rules:

Pay more attention to the child: communicate, ask with interest about his affairs, do not forget to tell about yourself.
Be sure to explain to the baby so that he understands why you are doing something (for example, you need to go to bed during the day, as this is good for health).
If the child shows aggression and fights, have a conversation with him that it is unacceptable to do so (we recommend reading:).

Listen to the child, to his opinion, accept the help of the baby, then your child will feel needed

It is important for the baby to know that you have serious intentions, and you talk to him on an equal footing. Spend a lot of time with him, participate in joint games, imagine yourself as a small child too. Try to give him a little more freedom without showing your excitement for him. Teach your baby to perform adult duties, gradually shifting some of them onto him.

If the child does not need your help, it is better not to meddle in his affairs. Do not forbid him to perform difficult actions, let him understand that he was wrong and in vain did not heed the advice of adults. Give your child support and do not forget to praise him. Close your eyes to the whims of a child, antics and imitation of adults. If you do not focus on such behavior, it will not become normal.

According to psychologists, the most important thing during a crisis in five-year-old children is to surround the child with love and care. Set a good example for your child.

How to behave with a child at 6 years old?

If the kid has not yet gone to school by the age of 6, he must be mentally prepared for it. Your task is to tell him how to behave properly at school, what daily routine awaits him. If you have the opportunity, you can introduce the child to his future teacher. Show him the best way to get to the school.

Show interest in the life of the child, in his circles, school and everything that the child himself likes

If the child is already attending school, do not forget to praise him for good grades and new achievements. Let him see that you are proud of him and do not doubt his abilities. Ask him with interest how the next day at school went, what new things did he learn in the classroom? Let's give an adequate assessment of his actions. If it seems to you that the baby has not coped with something, gently tell him about it. In the future, the child will try to avoid such mistakes.

Discuss with your child the possibility of visiting a circle that is interesting to him or any sports section. At this time, the baby strives for new knowledge, he pays special attention to the learning process. It is important for him to know that he is doing important things and to feel that those around him need him. Children who are active, excel in sports, or have other talents deserve respect in the eyes of their peers. It is very important for a child during a crisis to communicate and maintain friendship with peers.

Parents are obliged to provide the child with support and assistance in self-affirmation as a person. Consider his opinion and choice. Give him a little more freedom. If the parents behave correctly, then the difficult period for the child will fly by easily and quickly.

Things Parents Shouldn't Do

In no case do not take it out on the child, this can only aggravate the problem (we recommend reading:)

During a difficult period for the baby, parents are strictly forbidden to do the following:

Do not take out your anger on the child and do not show a rude attitude. It is necessary to have a conversation with him in a calm atmosphere about why he did not do the right thing.
If a child behaves rudely, you need to explain to him that such behavior is unacceptable. You can even fundamentally not talk to him so that he feels how much he offends you with such behavior.
If the kid repeats a curse word after someone, do not scold him. Try to explain to him how bad it is to use this word, or just ignore it, and the child will no longer remember it.
We must act immediately. If you see that the baby needs your help, immediately provide it, and your affairs will not go anywhere.

The child should feel that he occupies the main place in the life of his parents, that you will always find time for him. Let your baby know how much you need him, and you will never leave him in a difficult situation.

Clinical and perinatal psychologist, graduated from the Moscow Institute of Perinatal and Reproductive Psychology and Volgograd State Medical University with a degree in clinical psychology

The onset of the "crisis of 6-7 years" is one of the signs of the child's psychological readiness for schooling, so the question is not to avoid the crisis, but to skillfully use it for educational purposes.
In the seventh year of life, a sharp endocrine shift occurs in the child's body,
accompanied by rapid growth of the body, internal organs, restructuring of all systems and functions.
In this regard, children's mental balance is disturbed, mood instability, affective outbursts, whims are observed. Parents need to know that even calm children sometimes act up and stubborn.
And children's "whims" can be treated like this: as soon as the child begins to act up, you need to hug him, assure him of your love, try to distract him, offer him a pleasant activity, a game. If it was not possible to do this, you should leave the child alone, do not pay attention to him until he calms down himself.
Sometimes adults complain: “I’m completely out of hand, I don’t obey, I try to persuade him this way and that way to go play, and he’s his: “Tired! I'm not interested in playing. Let me help you fix your bike.
Such behavior of a 6-7-year-old child indicates that he has new interests, needs, and adults do not take this into account, they say that he has not “grown up” yet.
And how you want to seem and be more mature, smarter, better! The child develops autonomy and independence.
Children need their parents to realize that they are growing up, they want to be more independent, and misunderstanding of this causes protest and indignation in the child.
From the age of 6, children intensively develop such qualities as diligence and initiative.
It is useful for them to give special instructions, to include in household chores, performing which they would see the result of their work and feel its importance for the whole family: for example, watering flowers, feeding a cat, washing dishes, sweeping the floor, vacuuming, etc. Children want to do something useful, serious, where they feel that they can or can learn to be proud of their successes and skills.
To do this, sometimes you need to put the child in the position of an “adult” when responsibility is placed on him. At this age, they have mannerisms, antics, a change in gait, some kind of fidgeting, clowning, clowning. Such behavioral traits indicate the child's loss of spontaneity and naivety.
This means bringing into his actions an intellectual moment that wedged between his experience and action. Younger children do not know their own experiences: they rejoice, but do not realize that they are rejoicing.
During a crisis, a 6-7-year-old child begins to become aware of his experiences, to understand what it means “I am happy”, “I am angry”, “I am kind”, etc. Thanks to this, he has a meaningful assessment of his actions and experiences. The process of maturation of the child's readiness for schooling occurs precisely in the crisis period and is its essential indicator.
By the age of 6-7, the child has an awareness of his place in the system of social relations (“I am a girl, daughter, student”, etc.). The discovery by the child of the significance of a new social position of a schoolchild, associated with the performance of an activity highly valued by adults, changes his self-awareness, leads to a reassessment of values: everything that is related to educational activities turns out to be valuable, and what is associated with the game is less important. Therefore, before a child enters school, adults need to restructure their attitude towards him - treat him like a future student, say:
“You have grown up, you will soon go to school!” etc.; change your expectations from him, demand to be more serious, responsible.
The child's attitude to himself, to his place in the world of adults also changes.
He has a desire to take the position of a schoolchild: “I want to go to school”, “I want to study”, which is an indicator of motivational readiness for learning, indicates the initial stage of school maturity. ADVICE TO PARENTS.
1. If a child argues for any reason, resists, becomes stubborn, looks for a new occupation (by this he seeks to express his independence, independence, the need to be more mature), he needs help: first of all, show his respect for the child - be calm, reasonable, patient . You should give him a job, an occupation where he can prove his independence.
When he calms down, say what you agree with him and what he is wrong about. It is advisable to praise his success in useful deeds.
2. Be kinder, find time to talk with the child, do useful common things.
This is especially important when a child appears fidgety, clowning - it means that he lacks the recognition of adults, he demands attention, worries. Before going to bed, it is advisable to have calm conversations about what happened to him during the day, to praise him for good deeds and deeds.
3. Help children organize games and activities, find time to participate in them.
4. Encourage the activity of the child in intellectual pursuits
5. Offer children more tasks for the development of imagination, fantasy, creative initiative: playing “at the theater”, inventing a fairy tale with a sequel, creative tasks - to mold “miracle Yudo” from plasticine, draw a winter forest, cut out a magical animal from paper, etc.
Such tasks stimulate the development in the child of the most important prerequisite for learning activities.
6. Keep up a conversation with the child about the school, speak only good things about it: why do children study, what do they teach at school. To form in the child the idea that study is a serious work, so you need to be an attentive, diligent student.
7. To educate children industriousness, responsibility for the assigned work.
Include them in household chores and useful activities. It is useful to perform tasks with self-control.
To do this, you should have a calendar for the child, where he would mark with colored felt-tip pens the fulfillment of assignments and good deeds.
8. Encourage academic success: rejoice with him, express it in words, for example: “Well done! I knew you could make it!

Developmental psychology and developmental psychology: lecture notes Karatyan T V

LECTURE No. 10. Crisis of 6–7 years

At the age of 6, the child develops a readiness for learning. L. S. Vygotsky singled out the crisis of 6–7 years. According to the studies of L. S. Vygotsky, the older preschooler is distinguished by mannerisms, capriciousness, pretentious, artificial behavior. The child manifests stubbornness, negativism. Investigating these features of character, L. S. Vygotsky explained them by the fact that children's spontaneity is being lost. During this period, meaningfulness also arises in one's own experiences. It suddenly becomes clear to the child that he has his own experiences. The child understands that they belong only to him, the experiences themselves acquire meaning for him. This is due to a very specific neoplasm - a generalization of experience, that is, the child's attitude to the world around him changes.

According to L. I. Bozovic , the crisis of 6-7 years is caused by the appearance of a neoplasm - the so-called internal position. Until the present age, the child practically did not think about his place in life. But at the age of 6-7 years, these questions become relevant for him. At this age, children have an awareness of their social "I". Children imitate adults, strive to assert their significance.

L. I. Bozhovich pointed out that a child at the age of 6–7 years has a need for activity that ensures his social position. The internal position is in conflict with the social situation in which the child is at the moment. From the point of view of adults, he is still small, and therefore helpless and dependent. But in their own eyes, the child is already an adult, and therefore can carry out socially significant activities. According to Bozhovich, at the heart of the crisis of 6–7 years is a conflict that arises from the collision of new needs that have appeared in the process of development and the child’s way of life and the attitude of people around him that have not changed. The relationships of the surrounding adults do not allow the child to satisfy the needs that he has. This leads to the emergence of frustration, deprivation of needs, which are generated by the mental neoplasms that have appeared by this time.

At the senior preschool age, children can be divided into two groups:

1) children who, according to internal prerequisites, are already ready for educational activities;

2) children who, according to internal prerequisites, are not yet ready for learning activities, are at the level of play activity.

For children belonging to the first group, the crisis of 6–7 years becomes a consequence of the need to replace play activity with educational activity. Children belonging to the second group will not have negative symptoms if they do not try to start learning activities too quickly. If the children belonging to the second group begin to study from the age of 6, then there will be a violent demolition of activity. This will become noticeable in the manifestations of the crisis. Accordingly, some children come to school “out of the crisis”, and some come “in the crisis”.

L. S. Vygotsky studied stable and critical ages. He pointed out that stable ages consist of two stages. At the first stage, there is an accumulation of changes, the formation of the prerequisites for a new age. At the second stage, the already existing prerequisites are realized, i.e., they lead to significant personality changes. Vygotsky believed that all critical ages have a tripartite structure, i.e. they consist of the following phases: precritical, proper critical, postcritical.

The crisis of 6–7 years can be considered according to the knowledge of these phases.

On the subcritical phase of the child is no longer satisfied with "pure" play as the leading type of activity. The child does not yet realize what this dissatisfaction is connected with. There are already all the prerequisites for moving from playing activity to learning. At the subcritical phase, the period of modification of the game begins, its adaptation to new tasks of mastering the norms, motives, and goals of activity. The game changes, approaches the imitation of activity. The relationship between the child and the people around them changes significantly for the better (meaning the improvement of communication skills and abilities). There is an active process of preparing the child for schooling. During the subcritical phase, the prerequisites for the transition from playing to learning activities are still not sufficiently formed. The child is quite satisfied with the game, he is satisfied with the position that he occupies in society, that is, the child is not burdened that the surrounding adults consider him small. Nevertheless, in the process of communicating with school friends, in the process of preparing for school in kindergarten or at home, and also under the influence of other reasons, the child develops a subjective desire to go to school.

After the modification of play activity, the child shows a noticeable interest in non-play forms of activity, for example, in designing, modeling, drawing, and then gradually the child moves on to activities that are positively evaluated by adults. For example, a child seeks to do something around the house, fulfills instructions from adults, wants to learn something, etc. During this period, the child develops a desire to go to school, he already has a certain idea of \u200b\u200blearning activities. But for an older preschooler, the very transition to school is an event that is possible only in the future. Accordingly, the preschooler enters latency period. The child is ready to learn, but the learning process itself has not yet begun. The farther apart the dates of readiness and opportunity to go to school are, the more negative symptoms appear in the child's behavior.

critical the phase is characterized by discrediting the motives of play activity. They are practically no longer of interest to the child, he has a desire to go to school. The child perceives himself as an adult. He is burdened by the discrepancy between his social position and his aspirations. This phase is characterized by psychological discomfort and negative behavioral symptoms. Often it seems that the child has a difficult character. Negative symptoms have a function - to draw attention to themselves, to their experiences, as well as internal causes - the child is moving to a new age stage. The critical phase is associated with the beginning of schooling. The child may feel that he is quite ready for school. He may be interested in preparing for school, it is quite possible that the child has some success in preparing for school. But during the beginning of training, the child has problems. They can be both serious and not very serious, for example, teacher's remarks, failures in completing assignments, etc. After several failures, the child already refuses to go to school. He is experiencing a discrepancy between the position of the student and his desires and capabilities. Gradually, the child has more and more reasons for not wanting to go to school. It may be difficult for the child to sit and do the tasks of the teacher, he is not satisfied with the daily routine established for the student. Accordingly, the child loses interest in learning. Often in this case, parents complicate the situation with additional classes that they conduct on their own at home. Negative additional symptoms, whims, stubbornness appear in the child's behavior. Only gradually, thanks to the play activity, which is very important for the child in such a period, and thanks to the educational activity that the child gradually masters, the prerequisites for the transition to educational activity are prepared.

Postcritical the phase is characterized by the fact that with the beginning of schooling, the child has an awareness of his new social position. Negative crisis symptoms disappear, the child understands that the attitude towards him has changed. He is already an "adult", he has classes and responsibilities.

For some children, the crisis begins at the very beginning of schooling. In this case, the pattern of the crisis will be different. The postcritical phase is possible only with the gradual development of learning activities. The child gradually realizes the correspondence of his abilities to the requirements at school, motivation is created. The first successes lead to the fact that the child begins to feel comfortable at school.

Inattention to the child during the crisis of 6-7 years can lead to the risk of neurosis.

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The transition of a child from preschool to school age is accompanied by the development of a normal age-related developmental crisis - a crisis of 6 years. This crisis is not the first: in its development, the child has already gone through several similar crises - the neonatal crisis, the crisis of the first year and three years.

The onset of the six-year-old crisis usually coincides with the moment the child enters school.

Usually, older preschoolers strive to start school as soon as possible and in every possible way rush this moment. The child understands that schooling imposes new responsibilities on him, but he is ready to fulfill them, because he wants to feel like an adult sooner. Becoming a schoolboy means for him to touch the life of adults, through this he gets the opportunity to feel like a full-fledged member of society

However, some children do not show a desire to go to school, do not want to leave kindergarten, wanting to remain small and defenseless as before. Why is this happening?

On the one hand, the position of adults surrounding the child can become the cause of this phenomenon. It's no secret that many of us are dissatisfied with today's life and our place in it. Often parents try to compensate for this feeling of dissatisfaction with the help of children.

How often can you hear from mothers who bring their kids for a consultation with a psychologist before entering school: “My Sasha is a very smart and quick-witted boy, I think that he will study the best in the class!” Often, such parents do not see the existing problems in the development of the child, do not perceive the recommendations given by teachers and psychologists, believing that their baby is “the best”. At the same time, they scold the child when he does something wrong, not realizing that the baby cannot learn everything at once, he needs to make a lot of efforts to actually turn out to be the way mom and dad want to see him.

Of course, it’s not bad when parents support their son or daughter, forming a positive assessment from him. It is worse when this support is absolutized, when the child really begins to perceive himself as special, the best and smartest. In this case, the baby may develop a fear of being insolvent, a fear of not justifying the huge hopes that are placed on him.

On the other hand, the reason for the decrease in the desire of children to go to school may be the fact that modern programs of education and upbringing in kindergarten are becoming closer to school ones. Already in the kindergarten, the child begins to get used to the lessons and the teacher, who comes to study in their group, to the school daily routine. In this case, going to school ceases to be perceived by the child as something special, he loses interest in this, his desire to “try on” a new role, the role of a schoolboy, decreases.

So, self-respect is the main neoplasm of the crisis of 6 years. The older preschooler begins to strive to participate in the life of not only his family, but society as a whole, and the closest and most accessible way in his perception of this desire is to enter school. That is why most children look forward to this moment, enjoy playing “school” and sorting through the school supplies bought by mom and dad several times a day.

A six-seven-year-old child strives in every possible way to demonstrate that he has already become an adult, that he knows and understands a lot, he wants to constantly participate in adult conversations, express his opinion and even impose it on others. Children of this age like to wear "adult" clothes, often try on their mother's shoes or father's hat, girls, when their mother is not around, try to use her cosmetics. As a rule, all this causes dissatisfaction of parents, they constantly scold the baby, urging him "not to interfere with mom or dad", "to behave decently."

Thus, you and I, dear parents, voluntarily or unwittingly suppress the child's need to feel like an adult and respect himself. This happens because adults in their internal perception of the baby, as a rule, lag behind his real development, that is, our baby seems to us weaker and less independent than he really is. Unconsciously, you and I want the child to remain as small and defenseless all the time as he was when he was lying in his cradle, and we strive in every possible way to protect him from the difficulties and vicissitudes of life, suppressing his ability and need to be independent.

It turns out that there is a rather significant gap in the child's perception of himself and his parents' perception. Not getting on the part of adults the opportunity to be independent, to demonstrate their opinion to others, the child is looking for new ways to fulfill the need that has arisen.

He finds that he cannot simply express and express what he thinks, because, by doing this, he causes a feeling of discontent in an adult. Not getting the opportunity to speak directly, the child begins to grimace, act up, attract the attention of adults in ways available to him. Here, another gap is manifested, which is characteristic of the crisis of 6 years. On the one hand, the child wants to appear adult and independent, on the other hand, he uses “childish” forms of behavior for this (antics, whims, etc.).

If you begin to notice that your 6-7-year-old child is increasingly attracting attention to himself, becoming capricious and irritable, while striving to participate in all your affairs and conversations, it can be assumed that the baby is entering another crisis period in his development.

We think that you, dear mothers and fathers of grandparents, already have some experience of communicating with a child during periods of crisis and know that all these phenomena are absolutely normal and, moreover, necessary for the further psychological development of the baby, and we want to give you a few simple recommendations on how to communicate with a child during this difficult period for him.

A source:
Crisis 6 years
The transition of a child from preschool to school age is accompanied by the development of a normal age-related developmental crisis - a crisis of 6 years. This crisis is not the first: in its development, the child has already passed
http://www.r-rech.ru/home/6/18.html

Crisis 6 years in a child

Just yesterday, your 6-year-old baby was the most calm, attentive and loving child. I embraced you with all love and tenderness about, and without it. And today you will no longer recognize your child. He is irritated, snaps at everyone, does not respond to your requests and simply ignores all your comments. But do not worry too much about this, your baby has another crisis. It is quite possible to deal with it. First you need to understand what the crisis of 6 years in a child is connected with, what are the reasons for its manifestation.

The crisis of 6 years in a child can begin at the age of 5.5 years to 8 years, it depends on the individual characteristics of the child's body. The kid begins to analyze all his actions, think about the consequences of his actions, about what his relatives will say about him. That touching childish spontaneity is already leaving, the baby no longer believes in the existence of fairy-tale heroes. He knows that Santa Claus is a neighbor with a fur coat and a glued beard.

Children dream of becoming adults as soon as possible, girls try on their mother's heels until they see them, and boys try on their father's ties. The child begins to compare the ideal image he created with his real one, and most often he underestimates himself, all his capabilities. All these experiences can lead either to the isolation of the child, or, conversely, to excessive activity. The child has his own inner world, into which he will not easily let any of the adults into it. So how can you help your child during this difficult period?

The main thing for parents is to understand that their child is already old enough. Try to change your attitude towards the child, if possible, communicate with him on an equal footing, take into account his opinion. During this period, the child will have a desire to be more independent. Give him such an opportunity, but if something threatens his health, then try to explain in detail and intelligibly to the child the reason for your refusal. Do not use a commanding tone in communicating with the baby, otherwise you will get a negative response. Communicate with your child in a humorous, optimistic and positive way.

If the child is still small and does not go to school, then mentally prepare him for it. Tell us about the rules of conduct at school, about his upcoming new daily routine. If possible, introduce the child to his future teacher. Discuss the way to school, choose together the most convenient route.

The main thing for parents is to support the child, to help him assert himself, to make sure that he is capable and quite hardworking. Respect his choice and opinion. Do not restrict too much freedom. And then the crisis of the child will pass almost imperceptibly for both the parents and the baby, and in the future the child will always behave adequately and confidently in all situations.

A source:
Crisis 6 years in a child
Crisis 6 years in a child. It can begin at the age of 5.5 to 8 years, the child begins to analyze all his actions, to think. Do not use commanding tone in communication
http://razvitiedetei.info/doshkolnoe-razvitie/krizis-6-let-u-rebenka.html

Crisis in children 6-7 years of age

In terms of the complexity of the course of the crisis in children of 6-7 years old, it can only be compared with the teenage crisis. At this age, the carefree preschool life of the baby ends, he acquires a new status - a first grader. In many ways, the crisis of children aged 6-7 is due to the responsibilities that have piled on them, with the burden of which young students cannot always cope without the help of their parents.

Around the age of seven, parents are faced with a certain identity crisis associated with the fact that the baby needs to go to school. Here begins a new period in the life of the child - primary school age. Parents, of course, are very concerned about how ready their child is to go to school, whether they will cope with the assimilation of the program, how the new team will accept it.

Due to developmental psychology, it is possible to cope with a crisis in a 7-year-old child only with an integrated approach. Sometimes the involvement of specialists is required. Most parents believe that the most important aspects of schooling are being able to do what they say, control their emotions, listen to directions, etc.

At first glance, it may seem that the child gradually reaches the required level of mental development. Indeed, the crisis of 6 years of age is much less frequently mentioned, since during this period the baby has a relatively stable system of relationships with parents, other family members and peers. These relations are regulated by a number of norms and requirements. The child performs a number of specific duties, for example, observes the daily routine, helps parents with housework, etc., in addition, he has a certain amount of free time.

However, after a while, parents are faced with one very important problem - their child becomes naughty, irritable, and increasingly naughty. The crisis of 7 years of the child is manifested by regular conflicts with adults, the younger student ignores those duties that he used to perform almost with pleasure.

Parents notice that their child has stopped interacting with them and does not respond in any way to reminders related to going to bed, meal times, etc. Later, he begins to argue, contradict, largely violate the established daily routine, act up.

It is worth noting that during this period of a child’s life, a rather serious stressful situation is observed, due to the fact that the social situation of the baby is changing dramatically. It replaces the relationship between the child and parents, the activities of the younger student are replaced by new ones. Such a transition is often quite painful, it is usually accompanied by stubbornness, various negative manifestations. At this stage, parents are somewhat confused - if the child stops listening to them, does not follow a number of elementary rules, then how will he listen to the teacher when he goes to school?

However, if we consider the current situation from the point of view of psychology, then there is nothing surprising in a crisis for a child of 7 years old. This is a completely natural stage in the development of his personality, when he is going through one of the most important periods of his life. The psychological space of the resulting crisis is the very area where the child begins to test his emerging abilities.

The fact is that before understanding what it is like to act according to certain rules, the child must first become aware of these rules, distinguish them from the current life situation. This is what causes the crisis and misunderstanding between him and his parents. Children gradually highlight the rules that have been established for them, and their first reaction is a violation, which is a completely natural phenomenon.

But how to understand that a crisis has begun at the physiological level in children of 7 years old? A young organism goes through an active stage of biological maturation. By this age, the frontal regions of the cerebral hemispheres are finally formed. Thanks to this, the child acquires the ability of purposeful and voluntary behavior, he is able to plan his further actions.

At the same age, the mobility of nervous processes increases, but the processes of excitation are still key, it is because of them that the baby is restless, his emotional excitability is at an increased level. The development of the crisis of a child at the age of 7 is affected by a number of surrounding unfavorable factors. The baby's psyche begins to react in a new way to all sorts of harmful external stimuli. For example, if the baby is ill, then he has psychomotor agitation, stuttering or tics. At primary school age, many children have increased general emotional excitability, symptoms and fear syndromes regularly appear, and they begin to show aggression more often than before.

The proximity of the school bench also provokes the crisis of the child of the 7th year of life, and this is due to the formation of the internal position of the future first grader. At this age, the child gradually loses his childish immediacy. At a younger age, his behavior is relatively understandable to the people around him, primarily to his parents. When a crisis of seven years of age begins in him, even an outside observer will be able to notice that the baby has lost his naivety and spontaneity in behavior. In communication with other people, both with peers and with elders, certain changes also occur. His actions from this age onwards are not so easy to explain.

The loss of spontaneity is associated with the fact that the intellectual component begins to wedge into the behavior of the child. In some cases, actions seem artificial or forced, they are not always clearly manifested. Therefore, the most significant feature of the crisis situation of this age is the separation of the external and internal sides of the personality, due to which a large number of various kinds of experiences arise.

At this age, for the first time, he tries to generalize the emotions that occur inside him. If the situation was repeated with him repeatedly, then the baby is able to comprehend it and draw a conclusion how to relate to himself, his successes and position. He can roughly imagine how others around him will react to one or another of his actions. However, experiences have another side - they often come into conflict with each other, which ultimately leads to the emergence of internal tension. This cannot but affect the psyche of the child.

It is worth noting that the experiences of a child at 6-7 years old have a number of their own characteristics. They acquire a specific meaning, i.e., the child becomes able to understand what kind of experiences occur in his soul - he rejoices, upset, angry, etc.

It often happens that a child's experiences are connected with the fact that for the first time in his life he is faced with new difficult or unpleasant situations from which he has to find a way out. However, the generalization of experiences is one of the key points for the baby to be able to overcome the crisis of seven years of age.

The behavior of the child ceases to be momentary, he gradually begins to realize his capabilities, such vital concepts as pride and self-esteem begin to form in his head. They are very different from what happened to him before. A young child loves himself very much, but self-love (if it is perceived as a generalized attitude towards his personality) and self-esteem are not observed in him.

The crisis of development of a child of the 7th year of life: the first time in the first grade

Sometimes the situation begins to develop in a different way. A children's crisis at the age of 7 can also develop if children, under the influence of certain circumstances, do not find themselves on the school bench, however, their position as a schoolboy by this moment has been fully formed. Children have a desire to go to school, they strive to take a new position in society, ordinary preschool activities cease to satisfy them. A child at this age strives for his new social position to be recognized by others. He begins to protest that his parents treat him like a child. At the same time, it does not matter at all where this happens - on the street, among strangers, or at home, when only close people are nearby. This protest can take many different forms.

It goes without saying that the crisis of the age of seven is not formed every minute, so psychologists distinguish several stages in the formation of the position of the future student at once. First of all, they note that closer to seven sodas, children begin to perceive school positively, even though the main meaningful moments of the educational process remain a mystery to them. By and large, such a position of the child is still preschool, he simply transfers it to school soil. The child wants to go to school, but is not going to change his usual way of life. A positive image of this educational institution is formed in his mind due to external attributes: he becomes interested in whether there is a certain form of clothing there, how his success will be assessed, how he will have to behave there.

The next stage in the development of a positive position of the future student in relation to the school is the emergence of an orientation towards the reality of the educational institution, in particular, towards its meaningful moments. However, first of all, the child pays attention not so much to the learning process itself, but to socialization in the team.

The last stage, associated with the formation of the crisis of 7 years of age, is the direct emergence of the child's position, when he already has a social orientation and a final orientation to the key components of life in the school itself. However, as a rule, the student is fully aware of this only closer to the beginning of the third grade of elementary school.

The crisis of a junior schoolchild is largely provoked by the active development of the motivational sphere, when he has new motives to commit or not to commit this or that act. Here, the key role is played by the motives that can induce the future first grader to go to school:

cognitive activity, expressed in the educational process;
motives aimed at the emergence of new acquaintances, in addition, they are associated with the acceptance as a given that it is necessary to learn;
the child seeks to take a new position in relations with the people around him, that is, he, by and large, moves from one social group (preschoolers) to a new one (secondary school students);
motives that have an external orientation, because the child has to somehow obey the requirements imposed on him by adults; V game motif, transferred in his mind to a new sphere, which now represents study;
competitive motive based on getting a higher grade compared to other students in the class.

To study in detail all the motives that drive the behavior of a child, you can use one well-tested psychological method. Offer your child a short story where each of the characters explains in their own way their desire to go or not go to school. In this case, the child will have to choose one of the proposed versions. As child psychologists say, children around the age of six have a high motivating force of the game motive, which is often combined with a social or positional motive. In learning conditions (if a 6-year-old child is already attending school), this motive gradually fades into the background, and it is replaced by positional and cognitive ones. This process is much slower than for a six-year-old who is not yet in school.

These data suggest that sending a child to school until he reaches a certain age should not be done. The so-called "crisis of the first class" can have a very negative impact on its development.

Psychologists have noticed that between preschool and primary school age, a child dramatically changes his self-esteem. Before reaching the age of six or seven, he perceives himself exclusively positively, and this does not at all depend on the area in which he evaluates himself. Psychologists clearly demonstrate the manifestation of the crisis of childhood at 6-7 years old with the help of a simple exercise called "Ladder". The child is offered to determine his skills and abilities and put them on a certain rung of the ladder, depending on how he evaluates himself. Children under six years of age always put themselves on the highest rung and define their development as the highest.

Before entering school, the child's responses begin to change dramatically. In many ways, the first grader's crisis is connected with the fact that he begins to distinguish between the real I (the person he really is at the moment) and the ideal I (who he would like to become or what skills to master). The self-esteem of a growing personality becomes more adequate, the baby is no longer going to position himself at the highest level, however, the level of claims that is dictated to him by his ideal self remains very high.

At the same age, the attitude of the child to adults changes greatly. Around the age of seven, children gradually begin to distinguish their behavior when communicating with loved ones and other adults, even outsiders. If you ask a six-year-old child what a stranger can talk to him about, he will answer that he will offer to play, call him somewhere. It turns out that children at the age of six perceive strangers as adults as friends or as relatives. But just a couple of months after the child turns six years old, he can offer several options at once regarding communication with a stranger, tell what exactly he expects from the treatment of a stranger. For example, children often report that an outsider might try to get their address, name, and phone number. They begin to gradually distinguish the difference between communication between loved ones and strangers.

At the age of seven, voluntary mental activity and behavior begin to form. It is at this age that the child becomes able to perceive and retain a number of certain rules, and their significance increases significantly. All these abilities appear due to the fact that a rather complex chain of concepts arises in the mind of the child.